NCAA Football Sec

Dear Commissioner Mike Slive,

I know this has been a rough month for you. What with everyone suggesting that the SEC officials want to see Florida and Alabama in the SEC championship game no matter what the actual game results might be. Furthermore, I know that generally speaking the SEC's issue has been with judgment calls, celebration penalties on A.J. Green, personal fouls on some Arkansas defensive players -- it's okay, no one knows anyone's name that plays for Arkansas other than Ryan Mallet, it will be our secret -- missed calls in favor of Florida against Mississippi State, allowing Terrence Cody, the largest man on earth who still resembles a girl, to play without his helmet on. But this latest move, ignoring a clear interception by LSU's Patrick Peterson, has me steaming mad. What's the point of instant replay if you're going to use it and still get the play wrong?

That's why I'm making you an offer, I will work as instant replay reviewer for any televised SEC game.

For free.

On Friday, SEC Commissioner Mike Slive fined Urban Meyer $30,000 for criticizing the officials in the wake of the Georgia-Florida game. When questioned by the media about a non-call on a late hit against Tim Tebow, Meyer responded, "That should have been a penalty, in my opinion. Obviously, it should have been. You've got to protect quarterbacks. That's the whole purpose. It's right in front of the referee."

In announcing the penalty, Commissioner Slive stated as follows: "Coach Meyer has violated the Southeastern Conference code of ethics. SEC bylaw 10.5.4 clearly states that the coaches, players and support personnel shall refrain from public criticism of officials. The league's athletics directors and presidents and chancellors have made it clear that negative public comments on officiating are not acceptable."

Last week Mike Slive, the Montgomery Burns of the SEC, threatened Lane Kiffin with a suspension and rewrote the SEC policy when it comes to commenting on officiating. All season, Slive has been besieged by officiating errors, coaches sniping at one another, and the continuing onslaught of media coverage having a brand new television contract and two top-ranked teams has brought.

Now, Slive (pictured right) is backed into a corner. Just a few days after Slive announced his new policy on officiating, Urban Meyer teed off on officiating once more, taking a shot at the non-call on a late hit that Georgia delivered to Florida quarterback Tim Tebow.

"That should have been a penalty, in my opinion," Meyer said, "Obviously, it should have been. You've got to protect quarterbacks. That's the whole purpose. It's right in front of the referee."

Jack Marucci's focus this week has been the health of his LSU Tigers as they prepare for Saturday's SEC showdown at third-ranked Alabama. But Marucci can't help but sneak a peek at the World Series between the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies.

Especially after Marucci prior to the start of the Series received a message from Philadelphia's Chase Utley that indicated he wanted a special bat to swing against New York reliever Mariano Rivera.

"It's the same wood but a different style, a little thicker and shorter," Marucci told FanHouse Wednesday.

Alabama's offense has mellowed over the past three games.

The Crimson Tide has registered only a pair of rushing touchdowns in victories over Mississippi, South Carolina and Tennessee. Ten trips into the red zone have resulted in eight field goals. The passing game hasn't featured many deep throws, and Alabama's Wildcat offense, which started as a gimmick, has become more relevant.

Third-ranked Alabama realizes it will need a better all-around effort on Saturday to beat No. 9 LSU, the only remaining ranked team on the Crimson Tide's schedule. The Crimson Tide can clinch the SEC West title with a win and would then meet No. 1 Florida on Dec. 5 in the SEC title game.

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- By the end of the first quarter Saturday, outside the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party in Jacksonville, a drunken mass of humanity sprawls in baking parking lots and beneath cool shade trees, the largest collection of people in America who cannot walk in straight lines. By now, the ratio of men to women has shifted, perhaps for the only time all day, to something approaching equal numbers. Women wearing bikini tops and tight dresses warble on flip flops or bare feet, men, Florida fans mostly, have discarded their shirts and stand bare-chested in the bright sunshine propositioning women as they pass.

"We still got beer left," a group of shirtless Florida fans, Cocktail party Romeos, call to a group of bedraggled Georgia girls, Capulets in red heels.

"We're looking for liquor," says one of the girls, moving past.

A scalper stands off to the right of the passing couples, four tickets held tightly in his right hand, jaw clenched.

"Game's going to be close boys, don't you want to go inside?" he asks, squinting his dark brown eyes to avoid the sun's rays. It's Halloween in Jacksonville, and all the world outside the Cocktail Party is a stage.

All is good with top-ranked Florida. Scout's honor, according to head coach Urban Meyer.

Meyer denied on Sunday that his Fightin' Gators -- specifically seniors Tim Tebow and Brandon Spikes -- were involved in a "skirmish" following UF's (pardon the pun) hard-fought victory at Mississippi State two weeks ago. Spikes admitted to the media following the Gators' 41-17 win over the Georgia Bulldogs on Saturday that the "skirmish" was more like two brothers venting at each other.

Meyer, however, did stress that he planned to talk with Spikes after news that a video surfaced on YouTube late Saturday night that showed Spikes appearing to gouge at the eyes of Georgia's Washaun Ealy after making a tackle.

"I'll talk with him today," Meyer said during his Sunday teleconference with the media. "He's a very emotional player. If that's the case, I'll have a very serious talk with him."

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - Two weeks, two months, two years.

The Georgia Bulldogs could have used all the time they wanted to prepare for the top-ranked Florida Gators and it probably wouldn't have made a difference in Saturday's Halloween showdown here on the banks of the St. Johns River. In fact, the Bulldogs haven't done much over the past two decades against their rivals.

UF beat the Bulldogs 41-17 for its 17th win in the last 20 meetings between the Southeastern Conference adversaries. More importantly, the Gators clinched the SEC East title and secured a spot in the conference championship game when good friend Tennessee, wearing new black jersey tops, beat South Carolina later Saturday night.

Auburn's offensive struggles in October have been discussed and dissected.

The Tigers have dropped three of their last four games this month, including last Saturday's 31-10 stinker against LSU. Auburn gained a season-low 193 yards on a season-low 61 plays in that game, igniting a wave of criticism from fans who are still smarting from last season's collapse that saw the Tigers open 4-1 before losing six of their last seven.

Auburn (5-3 overall, 2-3 SEC) is determined to snap out of its funk Saturday against visiting Mississippi (5-2, 2-2), which marches into Jordan-Hare Stadium on a two-game win streak and winners of three of its last four.

There is no more beloved Georgia Bulldog football player than Herschel Walker and no more beloved Florida football player than Tim Tebow.

Disagree if you like, but I feel pretty confident in both statements. Sadly, these gridiron warriors are separated by a generation and never will get the chance to play one another in the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. By the time Tebow arrived at Florida, Walker was only in the news alongside Tebow for acknowledging his multiple personality disorder.

Until now. Saturday, Tebow, who trails the Georgia running back by one rushing touchdown for his career, is likely to break Walker's all-time rushing touchdown total in the SEC.

Or is he?