Georgia, upon learning of the suspensions.

That sound you hear is a giant collective sigh of relief from Athens, Georgia today, as Georgia Southern announced the suspensions of eight players, including two starters. The GSU Eight, as they're undoubtedly going to be remembered in the annals of history*, will miss the Georgia game after unspecified violations of team rules. Murder? Maybe!**

'Dawg fans must be ecstatic. This softens the blow of hapless Georgia's only game this season against the "Championship Subdivision," which sounds so much better than "Bowl Subdivision" and therefore must be way tougher competition. A cursory Google search confirms this, as NFL legend Rob Bironas is a Georgia Southern alum. I assume there's no Bulldogs in the NFL.

This scandal has clearly rocked the college football world, as Vegas sportsbooks aren't even putting out a line for the game anymore. It's one of the sporting world's most reliable maxims, and it's as true today as it ever has been: "you throw out the records when Georgia and Georgia Southern lock horns." We're not in the predicting business at FanHouse, never have been, but college football fans in the mood for a shocker just might want to watch this plucky Georgia team. Led by QB Matt Stafford (a.k.a. "The Little Quarterback Who Could"), these Bulldogs just might treat Mighty GSU a little "ruff!"

*hahahahahaha, the whats?!
**definitely.***
***Our legal department has just informed me I cannot say eight members of a football team are "definitely" murderers. Whatevs.

It may take a while, and cost millions in attorney fees, but look at what can be squeezed from everyone's favorite all things to all people organization.

the NCAA will create a $10 million fund over the next three years to reimburse former student athletes for educational costs they previously incurred. The NCAA will also make an additional $218 million available to current Division I schools to pay for benefits given to college athletes enrolled between the 2007 and 2013 academic years.

I'm not a fan of big-dollar over-the-top litigation, but it's hard to be sympathetic towards the NCAA here. I don't necessarily think they need to pay athletes, but the time is coming soon to end the charade that they're really amateurs -- particularly when the NCAA gets shaken a little and over $200 million falls out.

Previously at FanHouse
NCAA President Myles Brand Is Paid $895,000 To Do What, Exactly?

(H/T: The Wizard of Odds)

The Olympic flame burns best when fueled by the oxygen of controversy and drama. That torch was particularly bright last night after China's women's gymnastics team captured the team gold over the American squad. At the end of the broadcast, an animated Bela Karolyi -- former US women's national team coach -- excitedly popped off to host Bob Costas about the Chinese team's alleged use of an underage athlete.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but as I understand it the Olympics prohibits gymnastic competitors who aren't 16 year of age by the end of the year. One of China's best competitors appeared to be more than a few hairs short of 16 and apparently had a disputed birth certificate. China has the gold now so there's little point in dispute, but they may have broken the rules in beating a solid group of American gymnasts.

Personally, and even with my patriotic heart of hearts, I say more power to them.

Ahhh, conspiracy theories. Their pattern is so simple: walk back from an unusual incident -- say, 9/11 or persistent arrests of South Carolina athletes -- and use loosely connected clues to piece together a crazy theory. One South Carolina administrator thinks he's onto something, and he's got the money quote of the week to prove it (emphasis mine).

In short, [Edward] Floyd believes some employees of the USC police force have a little too much orange in their blood.

"We have a guy investigating our athletes who has Tiger paws in his office," proclaimed Floyd in a not-so-subtle reference to Clemson, USC's bitter Palmetto State rival.

Floyd, a Florence surgeon who has donated millions of dollars to the USC athletic department and whose name graces the USC football administration building, did not identify the person he was referring to or his title or rank.

Ahhh, so it's Clemson's fault! Now I get it, that absolves the athletes of everything alleged against them. This wouldn't be a conspiracy without another piece of unsubstantiated evidence. Take it away, Mr. Floyd.

[T]here has been an attitude. . .there have been some allegations that I haven't totally (tracked) down of the police high-fiving when they catch an athlete," Floyd said.

Isn't that what happens in every police department, everywhere? Thin beer without actual, you know, proof. But hilarious.

I question the timing. Not really, I'm only mock cynical here, but it's exactly what you'd expect from a major program with two layups before The Game Of The Year in college football.

Ohio State defensive backs Donald Washington and Jamario O'Neal told reporters Thursday at media day that they've been suspended for the first two games of the season ... Neither player elaborated on the reasons for the suspensions.

That'd be against Youngstown State and Ohio, where the backups will be in before halftime anyway. I'm sure Coach Tressel would have been more comfortable with his defensive backs at least getting some game action before facing USC but them's the breaks. Washington is a starter and O'Neal contributes heavily as a backup.

They will soon be joined (we assume) by teammate Doug Worthington on the suspension list once a punishment is determined for his recent DUI arrest. In the name of balance we point you towards the story of a USC linebacker recruit recently convicted on charges related to a robbery. Oh and Rey Maualuga in women's unmentionables. And Reggie Bush's never-ending stiff-arm of the NCAA.

Poor phrasing, I know -- our headlines cannot be widowed, as they say in the industry. Let me try and save this sinking ship of an entry: Kentucky has dismissed (we're over the limit for use of the term "booted" at FanHouse today) would-be starting quarterback Curtis Pulley, seen at right having his lunch money taken away.

Why? Wildcat coach Rich Brooks only deigns to hint as to why.

"There is basically a little more as I delved into it than I was aware of at the time,'' Brooks said.

That could mean anything. What we do know is that "at the time" Pulley was merely in the doghouse for a series of run-ins with the law including traffic charges and a citation for marijuana possession. Anyway, out the hook came to drag Pulley off stage and into the likely abyss of "Football Championship Subdivision" football. Who wants to play D-I football anyway?

Insert new starter Mike Hartline at his disingenuous best.

"But in the end it's all about what you have and how you plan to move on. Since he's not on our team anymore, it's tragic and everybody wants him on our team, but we can't really dwell on it."

The Andre Woodson era is over, and I gotta believe people in Vegas are now in a mad scramble to unload whatever minimal investment they've put into Kentucky football this year.

The latest? Formerly silenced ($$$, natch) and hilariously named Michael Michaels is slated to testify August 29 in Lloyd Lake's civil lawsuit against Reggie Bush. Poetically, that is the Friday before college football's big opening weekend and perfect fodder for media everywhere to ignore the big weekend and speculate on this really old story.

The San Diego Union Tribune speculates that Michaels' testimony will "answer the final questions about Bush's eligibility". I'm not so sure, given the less reliable civil (instead of criminal) setting and the judge's frustration with both sides.

"I'm at a loss as to who's telling me the reality," [Judge Joan] Lewis said.

Lewis said she would reconsider other discovery issues she had tentatively ruled on Thursday, including a $2,730 sanction against Lake and his counsel.

In theory Michaels' testimony will help bring the Bush story to a close, but this thing has a life of its own. Expect more procedural antics and potential settlement talks/hush money if Bush's side somehow gets cornered.

The NCAA won't make a move towards sanctions until this case concludes (Bush is expected to testify September 9, days before the September 13 USC/Ohio State tilt, more drama!), and even then must weigh how far it can punish USC for something the program and its boosters seemingly had no role in, and built on testimony from an ex con and a guy who took hush money. The judge herself has no clue who is telling the truth. Good luck having such a thin standard as the support for what could be a mountain of sanctions.

This thing's not over yet, not even close.

Previously At FanHouse
Reggie Bush Accuser Lloyd Lake Leaves Deposition Over Gun

Not that you've got much of a choice anymore, but whatever. At right: Fred Rouse, who didn't last long at Florida State.

Recruiting rankings are no guarantee of onfield success even for the elite few bestowed the precious fifth star by recruiting services. Scout hands out but 50. Rivals is even stingier, awarding the fifth star to between 20 and 30 players. These guys are the cream of the crop athletically, but recruiting services can't predict academic issues or general knuckleheadedness or explosive back injuries. These guys flame out sometimes.

But that doesn't explain the trainwreck that is the 2005 recruiting class. Rivals broke down how these guys are doing and found that the best thing that could be said for most of them is they're not in jai-

DE Melvin Alaeze, the fourth-ranked player in the class, currently is in prison for eight years after pleading guilty to a first-degree assault charge.

Uh. Not dead?

...

Okay. Not dead. Full details on the carnage after the jump.

A couple days after defensive tackles Phillip Taylor and Chris Baker were booted from Penn State's football team comes the unsurprising news that Taylor is looking to transfer. And also this:

Taylor's father suspects his son was removed from the team because of the negative backlash from the recent ESPN Outside the Lines segment detailing Penn State's recent off-the-field issues.

"I think it was something how the interview went on ESPN," he said. "The way they chewed [Paterno] up, I don't know if it was him getting revenge. He's very disrespectful. He don't wanna talk, he don't wanna listen."

Not sure how Taylor's dismissal constitutes revenge, but Paterno is 81 and may have mistook him for Jeremy Schaap or something. Or forgotten about it entirely:

Taylor's father said he would talk regularly with Paterno about his son. Paterno, however, would rush Taylor's father off the phone and tell him he had meetings to attend.

Two hours later, Paterno and Taylor's father would resume talking, but the 81-year-old coach would forget he informed the father about the meetings.

Furthermore, Run Up The Score notes a weird assertion from Taylor's father: "I talked to Paterno, we talked about him sitting out for the season. If he was sitting out, he won't be at Penn State." So there are ongoing conversations about putting Taylor back on the team? In what was is this a "dismissal"? RUTS thinks the very idea implies the "dismissals" were knee-jerk reactions to the Outside The Lines story.

And by "too selfish" we mean he's no longer on the team.

Marshall has booted starting cornerback J.J. Johnson off the team for what was termed continuing selfish behavior. Johnson would've been in his third season as the starter this fall, and it obviously puts a crimp in the Thundering Herd's depth at cornerback.

I think in preschool that vague range of "selfish" conduct usually merited a timeout and a stern lecture. No sandbox time for you, kid! When you're an adult that gets you booted off your team. Of course the crimes were probably a little different, as he probably wasn't simply snagging teammates' toys and cups of awful tapioca pudding. At least we hope.

Anyway, I like that: "continuing selfish behavior". Completely vague, catch-all, awkward-sounding. Try using that next time when yelling at coworkers or the family pet.