NCAA Football FanHouse

Urban Meyer Fined $30,000 for Criticizing SEC Officiating

Clay Travis — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:24:00 EST

Filed under: Florida, SEC

On Friday, SEC Commissioner Mike Slive fined Urban Meyer $30,000 for criticizing the officials in the wake of the Georgia-Florida game. When questioned by the media about a non-call on a late hit against Tim Tebow, Meyer responded, "That should have been a penalty, in my opinion. Obviously, it should have been. You've got to protect quarterbacks. That's the whole purpose. It's right in front of the referee."

In announcing the penalty, Commissioner Slive stated as follows: "Coach Meyer has violated the Southeastern Conference code of ethics. SEC bylaw 10.5.4 clearly states that the coaches, players and support personnel shall refrain from public criticism of officials. The league's athletics directors and presidents and chancellors have made it clear that negative public comments on officiating are not acceptable."

Urban Meyer issued his own response: "As I stated last week, I have great respect for Commissioner Mike Slive and the Southeastern Conference and I respect this decision. There was no intent to criticize an official after being asked about a situation that occurred last Saturday and I apologize for my remarks."

Meyer's fine will be used to fund SEC postgraduate scholarships.

The fine comes in the wake of a recent change to SEC bylaws that ended all reprimand letters--Arkansas's Bobby Petrino, Tennessee's Lane Kiffin, and Mississippi State's Dan Mullen all received them for criticizing officials in the past few weeks -- and instituted a new policy of fines and suspensions.

While the fines are designed to represent a new, more stringent policy when it comes to commenting on officiating, they also raise their own questions. First among them, are fines, a penalty used by the NFL for decades, likely to curb coaching criticism of officiating? Particularly when SEC coaches make so much money as it is?

While $30,000 is a substantial sum to your average American, does it really put a dint in Meyer's wallet? Particularly when the donation is also tax deductible? In fact, this fine, even without the tax deduction, represents less than 1 percent of Meyer's overall salary this season. For an average American making, say $40,000, a year, that would be a hit of $300.

Isn't that a small price to pay for a coach being able to speak his mind?

Regardless, Slive had to act in the wake of announcing the new penalties. Slive's fine represents a new front in the SEC's attempt to reign in coaching commentary in the wake of several highly publicized officiating scandals. Whether it will be any more effective than the previous policy remains to be seen.

So long as the SEC office continues to suspend and berate officials while limiting the coaches' ability to do the same, consider this one vote for -- not likely.

Urban Meyer Fined $30,000 for Criticizing SEC Officiating originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:24:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Slive & Gold: The Root of SEC's Troubles

Clay Travis — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:10:00 EST

Filed under: Florida, Tennessee, SEC

Last week Mike Slive, the Montgomery Burns of the SEC, threatened Lane Kiffin with a suspension and rewrote the SEC policy when it comes to commenting on officiating. All season, Slive has been besieged by officiating errors, coaches sniping at one another, and the continuing onslaught of media coverage having a brand new television contract and two top-ranked teams has brought.

Now, Slive (pictured right) is backed into a corner. Just a few days after Slive announced his new policy on officiating, Urban Meyer teed off on officiating once more, taking a shot at the non-call on a late hit that Georgia delivered to Florida quarterback Tim Tebow.

"That should have been a penalty, in my opinion," Meyer said, "Obviously, it should have been. You've got to protect quarterbacks. That's the whole purpose. It's right in front of the referee."

And then, not to be outdone, Lane Kiffin took a swipe at Meyer's comments on officiating. "Urban Meyer? Criticized the officials, wow, that will be interesting," Kiffin said, "We'll see." Not content with a sarcastic aside, Kiffin also commented on the Brandon Spikes situation: "Yeah, I saw it on replay, it was pretty bad ... Obviously he'll discipline his team. Or not."

In 2009, the SEC has been the new king of controversy and virtually every action Commissioner Slive has undertaken has, instead of quelling the uproar, actually increased the feeding frenzy. Of course the ultimate irony of all of the attention being focused on the SEC is this, much of it is self-inflicted, brought on by the increased prominence of SEC football on both ESPN and CBS.

Once those companies ponied up billions to televise the athletic events, minor conflicts suddenly turned into nuclear war, the Bay of Pigs meets SEC football.

The SEC is behind the curve on responding to and preventing stories from spinning out of their control. Why? Because they've got a product with national appeal that is still run like a mom-and-pop store.
Don't believe me? I've been writing for over a year about how the increase in television fees was going to lead to stories that would have otherwise been regional in nature, becoming national. And we've already seen that happen this year, it's the primary reason Kiffin became such a lightning rod, because ESPN needed him to sell their product. And it's worked, SEC football ratings are up across the board, highlighted by a 60 percent spike in UT-Florida ratings after the Kiffin-Meyer tiff.

Controversy increases interest. Conflict, even manufactured conflict, sells. In fact, I'd even argue that controversies over bad officiating probably, paradoxically, lead to more viewers for games. Why? People want to see for themselves just how bad the officiating really is. And once the impression that the officiating is bad exists, it becomes the default assumption the next time a questionable judgment is made.

But this increased media attention has also caught the league and Slive flatfooted. I think the SEC, where regional writers still spend the majority of the time covering individual teams, has been surprised by how quickly statements by coaches have become national news. Same with the officiating controversies. In fact, anyone who has been a fan of SEC football for a decade or more, knows that this season's comments and controversies are no more extraordinary than any in the past 20 or 30 years.

Maybe even less so.

There have always been bad calls that have cost teams games, there have always been coaches looking to gig opponents -- it's what made Steve Spurrier a media darling -- and there have always have been extremely competitive games that magnify the importance of officiating calls. What there hasn't been is a national onslaught of attention surrounding these controversies. It used to be that if Spurrier said something bad about Tennessee or Georgia, it led the local paper, maybe the local news, in the offended jurisdiction and after a day it blew over.

News could only trickle down from the top back then, and if it did trickle down it came to an end quickly on a regional basis. Now? Now, news comes from both directions. It can boil up via fan outrage on blogs, message boards and YouTube, where eventually the national media pick up on the controversies and turn them into stories. Meanwhile, the national media can now take a single sentence and turn it into a blizzard of publicity. Those words have always been there, but in the past the money didn't justify the attention.

In the latter days of the 19th century, the term yellow journalism took flight. Ultimately, it led to William Randolph Hearst helping to start the Spanish-American War, "You furnish the pictures, and I'll furnish the war," he's supposed to have remarked.

Now SportsCenter furnishes the sports war.

That's a seismic change in the attention being paid to the league. And one the SEC still hasn't caught up to.

I knew we'd reached the tipping point in breathless SEC coverage when ESPN led a telecast with a story about Kiffin firing the strength coach at Tennessee. Really, the strength coach? A man many hardcore Vol fans couldn't even name is being covered by national news?

And the SEC hasn't helped themselves in surfing the onslaught; Slive's every move has added fuel to the fire rather than quelling the blaze.

Don't believe me, let's take a look at some of the hamhanded decisions made by the league just this year.

First, Slive made a big show of reading coaches the riot act after offseason controversies. The idea was that this public haranguing would kill all negative commentary. You can all see how well that worked. Instead of actually changing anything, the story of the fiery talk led newscasts and reinforced the previous statements made by coaches.

Next, the league attempted to restrict media coverage of athletic events with a new media policy that provoked outrage. The idea behind controlling rights was financial, seizing control of video, images, and content would, the league reasoned, make those products more valuable while also allowing them to control more of the stories that ensued. That's why the league also sought to restrict blogger access, as if any of the bloggers driving news coverage actually needed to be present at events to influence public perception. Nevertheless, the league buckled and rescinded many of the restrictions after complaints from long-time media partners.

Finally, once the season commenced, Slive and crew overreacted to bad officiating on judgment calls by throwing part-time officiating crews under the bus and suspending them. This decision opened the floodgates for coaches to comment on officiating mistakes, something that had previously been swept under the league rug. In rapid succession, Bobby Petrino, Lane Kiffin, and Dan Mullen were reprimanded by letter for publicly ripping officiating. Then, not to be outdone, Slive revised the existing rules for coaches to comment on officiating mid-season and threatened coaches with suspensions or, be still my trembling heart, fines should they fail to follow the newly prescribed rules.

What do all of these issues show? The SEC is behind the curve on responding to and preventing stories from spinning out of their control. Why? Because they've got a product with national appeal that is still run like a mom-and-pop store. After all the time they spent courting television partners, they failed to realize how those partners would cover the product they paid so dearly for. A league where everyone loves one another isn't great television. A league where everyone hates one another?

That's compelling television.

Slive, to his credit, is smart, and has done a great deal to clean up the league's image, but what he hasn't done is anticipate new and old media's ability to create national stories out of sentences that would have been, at best, regional dust-ups just 10 years ago. Partly, that's the result of the explosion of the Internet as a news cycle driver, but, mostly, it's a reflection of a hard and fast rule in today's media: if you pay a lot of money to cover a product, all of a sudden that product becomes more newsworthy than it ever has before.

Enter ESPN.

Enter the controversies.

Enter the belated responses.

And now, after a season of futile and belated responses, Slive doesn't have any options left. Will he become the first commissioner in league history to suspend a coach for commenting on, wait for the outrage, a football game? Can he? Does he have the political power to make that move and be backed by everyone? Especially if the coaches are making comments that most SEC fans agree with?

I don't know.

What I do know is that such a move would be unprecedented and draw more negative attention than anything that it helped to solve. But if Slive doesn't act, hasn't he rendered himself impotent, turned himself into the teacher who threatens real punishment but can never deliver that punishment? The SEC Commissioner with no clothes? Paging Montgomery Burns.

Sooner or later making false threats leads to less power than making no threats at all. But, Slive probably knows that. The question is, do the coaches?

And the bigger and more ominous question for Slive and the league he leads is this: in signing that multi-billion dollar television contract did the SEC ultimately bequeath the power of their product to corporations that have different interests than the league? If they did, and I think that's entirely likely, ultimately no matter what Slive does to penalize coaches, he's never going to regain control of the league narrative again.

That's already been sold.

Slive & Gold: The Root of SEC's Troubles originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:10:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Meyer Ups Spikes' Suspension to Game

FanHouse Newswire — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:17:00 EST

Filed under: Florida

GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) -- Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes has had his suspension for apparently trying to gouge the eyes of a Georgia running back increased to a full game.

Coach Urban Meyer says it was in the best interest of the team for Spikes to serve a full-game suspension when the top-ranked Gators play Vanderbilt on Saturday.

Meyer had faced some criticism for only suspending his All-American linebacker for only the first half the Vandy game. The Southeastern Conference accepted the original punishment.

Spikes stuck his hand into the facemask of Georgia's Washaun Ealey during Florida 41-17 victory against the Bulldogs last week. There was no penalty called at the time, but Meyer went back and looked at the play of tape and decided to punish Spikes.

Meyer Ups Spikes' Suspension to Game originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:17:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Florida Fans Strike Back on YouTube, Say Georgia Started Cheap Shots

Michael David Smith — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:45:00 EST

Filed under: Florida, Georgia

Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes committed one of the dirtiest plays of the year on Saturday when he tried to gouge the eyes of Georgia running back Washaun Ealey, and after video of eye poke was seen by hundreds of thousands of people on YouTube, Spikes was suspended for the first half of Florida's next game. But now Florida fans have struck back with a YouTube of their own that they say shows it was Georgia that made the game dirty.

The video, which has become one of the most viewed on YouTube over the last 24 hours, shows Georgia linebacker Nick Williams drilling Florida quarterback Tim Tebow away from the play after Tebow had handed off. According to some Florida fans, that play was the one that set Florida players off and set the tone for a game featuring cheap shots on both sides.

For his part, Tebow says he doesn't want to make an issue of it:

"That's something that you don't need to talk about," said. "People, they want to do whatever they can to get an edge and that's happened a lot in college football and it happens more than people think. "It's just something you deal with, and something I've dealt with for four years. It's not something that I feel like I need to talk about or converse about because it's not ... I love playing college football."

I think Williams should have been flagged for unnecessary roughness on the play, but I also think what Spikes did is an order of magnitude worse than what Williams did. If Florida fans want to say there were dirty plays on both sides, that's fine. but no one should equate lowering a shoulder into an opponent with gouging an opponent's eyes.

Florida Fans Strike Back on YouTube, Say Georgia Started Cheap Shots originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:45:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Starting 11: Every Game Counts, Except Some Count More Than Others

Clay Travis — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:00:00 EST

Filed under: Boise State, Florida, Oregon, Tennessee

One of the most frustrating cliches trotted out by college football's BCS defenders is this banal line: Every game counts. I hate this three-word cliche with the fury of a thousand blazing suns. I hate the smugness with which it's delivered, I hate the fact that no one points out the obvious -- name a sport where the games don't actually count-- but I hate the fact that it isn't even true the most.

In fact, this phrase is positively Orwellian because it leaves off the final part of the sentence. Every game counts ... except some games count more than others. How else to explain the fact that everyone can brush off Boise State's win over Oregon because it happened the first game of the season?

I understand we're dealing with a broken system, but right now Boise State is continuing to plummet as they win. I wrote about the glass ceiling that Boise had reached a couple of weeks ago, but has it really reached the point where we just ignore the first week of the season?

And if we do ignore the first week of the season, what's the point of having a broken system to determine who the champion is? Because pretty soon, if they keep winning, Oregon is going to pass undefeated Boise in the BCS rankings. Already Iowa, Cincinnati, one-loss USC, and TCU have all passed Boise since the first BCS standings were released three weeks ago. What's Boise done since that first week's release when they stood at No. 4 in the country?

Beaten two teams by a combined score of 99-16.

I'm not arguing that individual results should always govern the rankings between two teams. But I am arguing this, if the regular season means anything at all, you have to rank an undefeated team above any team that they've beaten.

Absolutely, positively, have to do that.

On to the Starting 11.

1. The fact that Tennessee was going to wear black jerseys on Halloween was one of the worst kept secrets in the history of the Internets.

For months, fans, media, and everyone else who cares about what color jerseys a team wears (count myself outside of this group) have gone crazy with speculation. Tennessee's athletic director, head coach, and everyone else associated with the program shot down the possibility that the Vols would wear black for months.

Then they did.

Raising this question, is it really worth lying about the color of a jersey? Why not just say: "We don't comment on jersey colors," months ago and leave it at that?

I know that UT claims the decision wasn't made until the week of the game, and while that might be true in a legal sense, it had been under contemplation for months judging by all the smoke surrounding the issue. I truly don't care what jerseys my team wears, but was the "surprise" really worth it?

I don't think so.

2. By the way, if Oregon hadn't played Boise State in the first game of the season, where are they ranked right now?

Probably fourth, right?

One of the really sad things about the current system is that Boise can't get teams to play them home-and-home for this exact reason, play a patsy at your place and you get a guaranteed win and don't deal with any long-term injury to your reputation. Play a tough team on the road and you sabotage your season if you lose.

Boise gets ripped because they haven't scheduled well enough. Well, isn't a tremendous part of that because they need to play enough home games to make some revenue for their school and because most teams are afraid to play them in Boise?

They're already playing six road games this season. That leaves them with just six home games. Most other major college teams in America are playing 7 homes games, often 8.

This is the system we've created, good teams from major conferences won't play other good teams because they don't need to and then when they won't play a smaller school we criticize the team they won't play for not having a tough enough schedule.

Awesome.

Doesn't anyone see that logical flaw?

3. Isn't it time we penalize college football players for malicious intent rather than malicious success?

Brandon Spikes tried to eye gouge Georgia's Washaun Ealey on Saturday. Urban Meyer, who doles out good ole boy justice with the best of them despite not actually being Southern, suspended Spikes for a half.

Against Vanderbilt.

Florida could probably start me at middle linebacker for a half and still beat Vanderbilt.

That's not even a joke, I really think they could.

But one of the most interesting things about this entire situation is that we're suspending Spikes because he was unsuccessful at what he attempted to do. In other words, Spikes's own incompetence as an eye-gouger actually saved him from a more severe penalty. Shouldn't we penalize a player based on intent rather than the actual result? Especially in sports since part of the reason for the punishment is to dissuade others who see the punishment.

4. Case Keenum, who may win the Heisman by default, threw for 559 yards against Southern Miss on Saturday.

On 54 pass attempts. He wasn't sacked.

Not once.

What's more, Keenum has attempted 398 passes so far this season and has only been sacked 10 times. Counting the sacks Keenum has dropped back to pass 408 times, probably more since he's scrambled for yardage several times, but only 10 times have defenses managed to sack him.

That means almost 98 percent of the time when he drops back to pass, the ball is leaving his hand before a defender gets to him. Can you imagine how debilitating that is to a defensive line? To know that, on average, if you rush the quarterback on 50 consecutive plays you're going to get to him once?

How mentally tiring must that be?

I've read quite a bit of praise for Keenum so far this season, but I haven't read anything about Houston's offensive line and the job they've done allowing Keenum to attempt so many passes. Kudos to them.

5. Iowa's magical season continues and soon they'll be in the clubhouse at 12-0 with two weeks of football remaining.

I haven't seen anyone write about what a tremendous advantage it is for Big Ten schools that they don't play games the final two weeks of the regular season. Iowa is now 9-0. They have two home games against Northwestern and Minnesota sandwiched around a road game at Ohio State. Assuming they win all three, the Hawkeyes get to sit and watch undefeated Texas, Alabama, Cincinnati and Florida deal with the mounting pressures of the season.

For half a month, they do nothing and can only be helped by the games that take place around them.

I know the long layoff has been mentioned before in terms of a Big Ten team's performance in bowl games, and the lack of a championship game is often trotted out as evidence of a hugely uneven playing field, but I haven't seen anything written about the tremendous advantage that comes from sitting out the final two weeks of the season.

It's worth thinking about as the pressure mounts to see who will be playing in the title game.

6. Random observation from the Jacksonville Airport: They have an entrance for a seeing eye dog at the security screening area with a sign above indicating such. It's next to the wheelchair entrance.

Multiple questions: A.) Whom is this sign for? Presumably the blind person can't see it, right? I'm no expert on canines, but I don't think they can recognize the sign either. B.) How many blind people with seeing eye dogs are traveling such that they need their own line? For instance, have you ever seen a blind person with a seeing eye dog at the airport before? C.) Wouldn't anyone with a brain naturally assume that the blind person with a dog doesn't have to walk through the regular line? In other words, who is doubting that they go through the handicapped line? D.) Where do the seeing eye dogs go on flights? Do you check them at the gate like a stroller? Are you automatically in the A boarding group at Southwest? If the dog is on the plane, where does he sit?

Anyway, this is the most unnecessary sign I've sign since the White House prohibited weapons' list featured guns, knives and nunchucks. Because, you know, who hasn't planned a trip to the White House and brought along a set of nunchucks in case of a ninja attack.

7. Why did Wake Forest let their kicker attempt a 60-yard field goal to end the game against Miami?

Setting the scene: Wake is down 28-27, there are four seconds remaining, and the Demon Deacons are at the Hurricanes' 43.

Your kicker, Jimmy Newman, has a career long field goal of 42 yards. (Sam Swank, Wake Forest's longtime strong-legged kicker, graduated after last season.)

What do you do?

Not kick, right?

Seeing as how this is 18 yards further than the kicker's career long.

Well, Wake kicks.

Predictably the kick was is wide right and short by about 15 yards. It lands in the front of the end zone. Does this really make sense? It's kind of embarrassing, actually. Wouldn't you have better odds of a Hail Mary here?

Granted, Wake Forest was playing with its backup quarterback at the time, Ryan McManus, instead of usual starter Riley Skinner, who left the game after taking a knee to his un-helmeted head on a fourth-quarter run. McManus, a senior, had two strikes against him entering the game. 1) He had more tackles in his career (two, on punt coverage in 2007) entering the game than pass completions (one). 2) The highlights of his online bio including calling a "key timeout" against Baylor and that he "loves to play." What exactly gets cut so that these factoids might make the biography? He enjoys both inhaling, exhaling and wearing socks?

At any rate, even with McManus why wouldn't you at least take a chance your quarterback could throw it 43 yards or at least try some sort of hook-and-ladder or series of laterals?

Instead you humiliate your kicker.

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Latest College Football Photos

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno answers a question at his weekly news conference on Tuesday, Nov. 3, 2009 in State College, Pa. Penn State host Ohio State in an NCAA college football game on Saturday, Nov. 7. (AP Photo/Pat Little)

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Latest College Football Images

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno answers a question at his weekly news conference on Tuesday, Nov. 3, 2009 in State College, Pa. Penn State sports information director Jeff Nelson looks in the background. Penn State host Ohio State in an NCAA college football game on Saturday, Nov. 7. (AP Photo/Pat Little)

Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno answers a question duirng his weekly news conference on Tuesday, Nov. 3, 2009 in State College, Pa. Penn State host Ohio State in an NCAA college football game on Saturday, Nov. 7. (AP Photo/Pat Little)

In this photo made Oct. 31, 2009, University of Florida line backer Brandon Spikes reaches inside the helmet of Georgia's Washaun Ealey during an NCAA college football game in Jacksonville, Fla. Florida coach Urban Meyer suspended Spikes for the first half of this week's Vanderbilt game after watching the tape Monday, Nov. 1, of Spikes attempting to gouge the eyes of Georgia's Ealey. (AP Photo/Stephen Morton)

Mississippi coach Houston Nutt pats Rodney Scott on the helmet as he ran off the field after being pinned under injured Auburn player Zac Etheridge for several minutes during an NCAA college football game on Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009, in Auburn, Ala. (AP Photo/ Butch Dill)

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Auburn strong safety Zac Etheridge, top center, is injured and lies on top of Mississippi running back Rodney Scott after a play during an NCAA college football game on Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009, in Auburn, Ala. (AP Photo/ Butch Dill)

ASSOCIATED PRESS

Oklahoma State head football coach Mike Gundy answers a question during a news conference in Stillwater, Okla., Monday, Nov. 2, 2009. Gundy says he has "complete confidence" in Zac Robinson's abilities and believes the starting quarterback will bounce back after perhaps the worst game of his college career. (AP Photo/Sue Ogrocki)

In this Nov. 8, 2008, photo, Alabama coach Nick Saban, left, and LSU coach Les Miles talk after Alabama defeated LSU 27-21 in an NCAA college football game in Baton Rouge, La. No. 3 Alabama faces No. 9 LSU on Saturday, Nov. 7. An Alabama win would give the team the Southeastern Conference West title; if LSU wins, it takes control of the SEC West. (AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez)

Syracuse quarterback Greg Paulus throws against Cincinnati during the second quarter of an NCAA college football game in Syracuse, N.Y., Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009. (AP Photo/Kevin Rivoli)

Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes, center, celebrates with his teammates after intercepting a pass and scoring a touchdown in the fourth quarter during a NCAA college football game against Georgia, Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009 in Jacksonville, Fla. (AP Photo/Stephen Morton)

8. At least you aren't a Marshall fan.

In case you missed it on Sunday night, which you definitely did, Marshall had a 20-14 lead with under 30 seconds to play.

Understandably, the team took a timeout to set their defense. Then, they didn't cover the wide receiver.

At all.

Out of a timeout.

Touchdown Central Florida, game over 21-20. Here's the video if you don't believe me.

Or don't watch. Since this is what keeps fans up at night. Can you imagine being a Marshall fan and thinking to yourself, "Surely, we're not leaving that guy ... F--- me, why do I root for this team?"

I guarantee you that was the exact thought pattern of 95 percent of Marshall fans watching this game.

9. Michigan, poor Michigan.

Remember all that optimism after Michigan started 4-0?

It's gone.

Illinois, a then-1-6 team, physically dominated the mighty Wolverines on Saturday. How so? With 377 rushing yards. Michigan has now lost four of five and the only win came against Delaware State. 6-6 is looking likely. Assuming, that is, Purdue doesn't roll into Ann Arbor and knock that possibility away.

At least basketball season is 'nigh.

10. Mississippi State's Anthony Dixon ran for 252 yards on 33 carries against Kentucky.

That's the second most yards rushing by a player in an SEC game in a decade.

I was at Sneaker's sports bar in Jacksonville while the game was going on. They put it on a small television over my left shoulder. I was watching Tennessee-South Carolina on one of the huge projection screens on the wall. But as the Kentucky-Mississippi State game progressed, my friend and Kentucky alumnus Tardio just got angrier and angrier. First he cursed. Then he started to slam his hands on the table after big runs.

Eventually he just put his hands over his eyes and sighed.

Is there anything worse than watching your team get run on consistently? It's so emasculating, you can actually feel the testosterone running out of your body with each gallop into the open field. This was made all the worse for Kentucky fans because Dan Mullen wore huge puffy gloves that made it appear he was coaching somewhere in the Arctic. I don't mind coats, but do you really need to coach in gloves? Lane Kiffin did the same thing on Saturday. It's the SEC in late October, at worst, it's around 45 degrees if there's a night game. I think your fingers will survive.

Anyway, getting run on is even worse when it's someone like Anthony Dixon who isn't shifty or particularly fast. He runs standing up, like a horse out for a trot in the Bluegrass. Watching his run is the insult equivalent of a middle-finger being slowly extended in your direction while someone does that goofy cranking motion to make the finger rise.

11. What if there was an eight team playoff based on the BCS standings?

Right now, we'd have an awesome set of teams. You'd have traditional powers like Alabama, Florida and Texas. But then you'd have upstart teams like Iowa, Cincinnati, Boise State, Oregon and TCU. Can you imagine how excited those five fanbases would be?

Can you imagine how excited we'd all be?

I'll tell you exactly what you'd feel like -- a quarterback lining up with less than 30 seconds to play in a game when you suddenly realized no one had covered your receiver.

Starting 11: Every Game Counts, Except Some Count More Than Others originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Blanket Coverage: For Pete's Sake

John Walters — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:33:00 EST

Filed under: Arizona State, Cincinnati, Florida, Louisville, New Mexico State, Ohio State, Oregon, Temple, Texas

Halloween in Eugene began with Oregon coach Chip Kelly disguised as the Duck mascot and ended with USC masquerading as Cal. Pete Carroll's Trojans are not exactly immune from defeat in the Beaver State (0-4 since 2006) but they never lose to a fellow highly ranked Pac-10 foe and they most certainly never get waxed.

That's Jeff Tedford's domain.

Hands continue to wring in the Southland -- the Orange County Register declared that "USC's complete dominance of the league, a dominance unmatched in conference history, is over" -- but I believe that Pete Carroll, much like Michael Myers, will haunt the Pac-10 for many Halloweens to come.

Also, I'd like to suggest a more salient reason for Troy's desultory play of late, one that has nothing to do with the freshman QB, the eight defensive starters lost, or the two new coordinators: jet lag (and that's not a Mark Sanchez reference).

This Saturday, the Trojans will fly to Phoenix to face Arizona State in neighboring Tempe, which will mark their sixth flight of the season. No school among the top dozen in the BCS rankings (USC is No. 12) will play six of its first nine games away from home. And only Boise State, primarily because the Broncos visited Hawaii on October 24, has accrued more frequent-flier mileage.

The Trojans are lax because of LAX. They've covered more miles than Les Miles. They've made two across-three-time-zones treks already (Ohio State and Notre Dame), which equals the total of the other 11 top-12 schools combined (Cincinnati at Oregon State and Boise State at Ohio State).

Below is a table ranking the top 12 in terms of mileage covered, with their actual BCS rankings in parentheses. Distances were rounded off to the nearest hundred miles:

1) Boise State (7)......................................13,400 miles

2) USC (12).............................................11,700

3) Cincinnati (5).........................................9,200

4) TCU (6)................................................8,200

5) LSU (5)................................................5,600

6) Texas (2)..............................................4,900

7) Florida (1).............................................3,800

8 (Tie) Iowa..............................................2,800

Georgia Tech....................................2,800

10) Oregon...............................................2,700

11) Alabama............................................1,800

12) Penn State.........................................1,300

Granted, it's not as if the Trojans were traveling by sleeper car back to South Bend. On the other hand, I'm beginning to wonder if safety Taylor Mays begins pep talks with, "This is your captain speaking."

Maybe Carroll's greatest nemesis may not be the swiftly surging Ducks. Maybe it's his athletic director.

THE ZACH ATTACK
He has only been the starter for 2½ games, but Cincinnati quarterback Zach Collaros has been outstanding in leading the No. 5 Bearcats to victories against South Florida, Louisville and Syracuse. Since taking over for injured starter Tony Pike, Collaros has completed 75 percent of his passes (47-of-63) for 749 yards and nine touchdown passes versus just one interception. That's the same TD-to-INT ratio that Jimmy Clausen of Notre Dame, second in the nation in passing efficiency, has.

Asked when Pike, who himself is currently seventh in the nation in passing efficiency, would play again on Monday, Bearcat coach Brian Kelly offered, "It's hard to say."

STEIN SHINES
Louisville, led by 5-8 walk-on quarterback Will Stein, beat Arkansas State, 21-13. Stein had last seen game action at Papa John's Cardinal Stadium as a local high school senior when he led Trinity to a defeat of St. Xavier in front of 37, 550 fans. Saturday's attendance at the same venue was 21,497.

TRUE BROMANCE
I cannot decide whether Riley Cooper is the Jordan Shipley of the SEC or whether Shipley is the Cooper of the Big 12. Cooper is the Gator wideout with the Head & Shoulders mane who is not only Tim Tebow's primary target, he's also his roommate.

Shipley is the childhood best friend and roommate of Texas quarterback Colt McCoy. He is also the Longhorn quarterback's favorite target. All four are straight out of "Friday Night Lights" (it's Jason Street and Tim Riggins come to life). Should Florida and Texas meet in Pasadena for the BCS championship, it'll be a question of whether Brent Musberger utters the term "bromance" during the broadcast or if he'll just refer to them as "pardners."

HMMMMMMM
Ohio State beat New Mexico State 45-0. The spread in Vegas was 44. If only everyone worked as diligently as oddsmakers.

TEMPLE IN NEED OF WORSHIPPERS?
Congrats to Temple for beating Navy. In earning their sixth straight victory, the Owls also became bowl-eligible for the first time since 1979. And so it would seem that their next home game would be an ideally opportune time for the fans in Philadelphia, and not just the Cos, to show their pride.

There's just one small problem. Temple's next home game, versus Miami of Ohio at Lincoln Financial Field, is Thursday night. That also happens to be the scheduled date for Game 7 of the World Series between the Phillies and the New York Yankees ... if necessary.

Blanket Coverage: For Pete's Sake originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:33:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Outside, the Life of the 'Cocktail Party'

Clay Travis — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:00:00 EST

Filed under: Florida, Georgia, SEC

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- By the end of the first quarter Saturday, outside the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party in Jacksonville, a drunken mass of humanity sprawls in baking parking lots and beneath cool shade trees, the largest collection of people in America who cannot walk in straight lines. By now, the ratio of men to women has shifted, perhaps for the only time all day, to something approaching equal numbers. Women wearing bikini tops and tight dresses warble on flip flops or bare feet, men, Florida fans mostly, have discarded their shirts and stand bare-chested in the bright sunshine propositioning women as they pass.

"We still got beer left," a group of shirtless Florida fans, Cocktail party Romeos, call to a group of bedraggled Georgia girls, Capulets in red heels.

"We're looking for liquor," says one of the girls, moving past.

A scalper stands off to the right of the passing couples, four tickets held tightly in his right hand, jaw clenched.

"Game's going to be close boys, don't you want to go inside?" he asks, squinting his dark brown eyes to avoid the sun's rays. It's Halloween in Jacksonville, and all the world outside the Cocktail Party is a stage.

Every year, hundreds of thousands of football fans descend on Jacksonville for the Georgia-Florida football game. Some of them, a small minority, actually see a football game. The remainder, a teeming mass of humanity, remains outside the stadium and occasionally squints up at the looming structure as the crowd roars inside. Idly they may wonder whether Georgia or Florida has the better end of the game. Most likely, they don't react at all to what happens in the game.

Because they're too drunk.

This is their story.

Getting There

Since 1915, Georgia and Florida have played a football game. For virtually every year since 1933, the teams have played this game at a neutral site, Jacksonville, Fla. This is the most popular social event in Jacksonville. There is no second most popular social event in Jacksonville.

The term World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party was coined in the 1950s after a sportswriter witnessed a fan offering a drink to a uniformed officer. In 2006, SEC Commissioner Mike Slive wrote a letter to CBS requesting that they no longer use the phrase World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.

"We would appreciate any initiatives you might take to avoid using the cocktail party reference. This is a great college football game, which highlights a traditional rivalry full of the passion of football in the Southeast. Our hope is to keep the focus on the game."

In so hoping, Slive has failed.

For 16 of the past 19 seasons, Florida has emerged victorious. Prior to this, Georgia won. At least according to the record books. No one really knows because those victories seem so far in the past now, grainy, archival footage of Bulldog greats dominating games that Harry Truman and John F. Kennedy checked the score of. Now, well, Florida wins.

That doesn't mean Georgia fans fail to travel to the game. They still come, tens of thousands of them, wearing their bright red and black Georgia polos and barking haphazardly into their fraternity brothers as they wait to board flights. Like the one I'm on, leaving from Nashville en route to Jacksonville. My flight is equal parts Georgia and Florida fans, middle-aged white middle managers in their uniform of choice, coaches' polo, tightly tucked into jeans or khaki pants, BlackBerry carrying case buckled on the belt loop. Accompanied by well-coiffed middle-aged women with astoundingly pert breasts and hair that, also amazingly, has not faded one bit.

As soon as we board our Southwest flight -- my friend Tardio has accompanied me -- these men spring into action to aid an attractive damsel in distress. It seems a woman can't fit her bag into the overhead compartment. Fifteen men attempt to aid her. Including a male Southwest flight attendant.

It is clear to all that the bag does not fit into the compartment.

But no one is willing to acknowledge failure.

After a five-minute struggle, the flight attendant places his hand on the young woman's bare shoulder, "Don't worry, we'll find a place for your bag," he says.

"Just once, I want to know what it's like to be a hot chick," Tardio says.

My friend Tardio has come to chronicle the Cocktail Party with me. And by "chronicle the Cocktail Party," I mean, drink. But that's in the future. Currently, Tardio, a medical malpractice defense attorney in the city of Nashville, is convinced his carry-on bag contains the greatest Halloween costume on Earth.

He has purchased a pair of blue doctor's scrubs. All his costume requires is a name-tag, which we will have to purchase in Jacksonville because the two of us arrived at the airport 38 minutes before our flight was scheduled to depart.

As we arrived at our gate 23 minutes prior to boarding, Tardio looked down at his phone. "We still had 10 minutes," he says.

He plans to write just one word on the name-tag that he will wear on right lapel of his scrubs: William.

On Thursday night, he conveyed his plan to me. "Get it?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"I'm Health Care Bill," he says.

Health Care Bill is currently reading the latest US Weekly magazine, purchased as we waited to board. "Sienna Miller is looking old," he says, scrutinizing her photo.

"No, she isn't," I say, "she's like 26."

"Really?" the man who will be Health Care Bill asks. "She looks older."

Welcome to Jacksonville

On Friday night, the cabs of Jacksonville descend on the city. And by city, I mean 400-mile radius of north Florida. Because, you see, no one is ever where they want to be in the city of Jacksonville. Also, it's nearly impossible, given that Jacksonville is the largest metropolitan city in America in terms of geographic size, to leave the city of Jacksonville no matter how far you drive. Or, for that matter, to actually leave Jacksonville's airport.

Jacksonville's airport, a monument to the color gray, eschews several archaic design traits such as functionality and economy of space. There are approximately 14 departing gates, all roughly a mile apart. Occasionally, as we make our way out of the facility, we see people, lost highwaymen en route to the holy city of Mecca perhaps, splayed out on the gray floors taking a nap or eating a meal. When you exit the airport you pass a row of offices. As if, in designing the airport, someone thought, you know what will make people love our city more? If they see the hard-working bureaucrats of the airport instead of reaching the baggage claim in less than four miles.

Moving on Up

Health Care Bill and I snag a cab. In Health Care Bill's bag he's actually carrying two pairs of scrubs, one blue and the other navy. That's because on Thursday night, he convinced me to participate in his costume plan.

"You can be Health Care Reform," he says, "but we'll make you a name-tag that says R.E. Form."

Our cab ride to the Courtyard by Marriott off Butler Boulevard in South Jacksonville costs $60. At this hotel, we are 5.8 miles from the stadium. Amazingly, Tardio and I stayed at the hotel next door to this one, the Red Roof Inn, for the 2007 Cocktail Party. The only thing I remember about that hotel is that they sold condoms from the vending machine.

Tardio surveys the half-acre of parking lot between the two motels. "You've really moved up in the world in the last two years," he says.

Checked into the the hotel, Tardio insists that we call a cab to take us to Walgreen's so he can buy some name tags and I can buy my costume necessities.

In lieu of Health Care Reform, I put out a suggestion for costumes in Friday's column. Immediately, I received an email from Blake P. who wrote, "Clay - you definitely can't go wrong with Alan (and baby Carlos) from The Hangover. Easy with some aviators, a cheap baby holder and baby doll from a dollar store with aviators. Plus, you didn't have to shave your beard, so you got that going for you."

In the 10 minutes before we left for the airport, I walked two blocks to the Family Dollar store in my neighborhood in north Nashville in search of said baby. I pushed open the dollar store door, covered in white metal bars, and scoured the dirty aisles, my foot occasionally pushing trash up under the product stands, for five minutes. There were many babies for sale, but given that I live in a majority black neighborhood, the baby dolls were all black.

Every single one.

I found myself faced with an unexpected ethical dilemma.

Could I really walk to the ladies, older black women, working the cash register and ask if they had any white babies in the back? Perhaps placed up on a shelf somewhere in storage? Maybe mis-delivered when the white baby dolls were destined for the suburbs?

Essentially, was it racist to ask for a white baby in a dollar store filled with black baby dolls?

Could I preface my request by remarking that I voted for Obama, liked Angelina Jolie? Anything?

The baby is white in the movie, that's what makes the name Carlos funny. What were the odds that elderly black women had seen and enjoyed The Hangover. Could I really capture the requisite level of verisimilitude with a black baby?

What's more, how does Family Dollar, a national chain, ensure that only babies of only one race are delivered to their inner city stores? Do they have a key-code for truck delivery that ensures only black baby dolls are delivered to my store? Am I, a white man, actually being discriminated against? Shouldn't the babies be diverse everywhere, a rainbow of smiling, plastic dolls?

I call an audible and flee, sans baby, without asking a question.

Decisions, Decisions

On our cab ride to Walgreen's we debate whether we should wear our costumes on Friday, tonight, or Saturday. It's a difficult decision because Saturday is Halloween, but we'll have to wear them to the game. "I'm sure that lots of people will be in costumes tonight," I say. "I don't think many people will dress up for the game."

Tardio has the opposite opinion, but if I argue my side long enough, I know that eventually he will agree.

After procuring a white baby, a Draft Tebow shirt in Jacksonville Jaguars colors -- more on this later -- name-tags, a case of Coors Light, and aviator sunglasses for a baby doll, Tardio insists we go to the liquor store so he can buy a bottle of Maker's Mark for the game.

We return to the hotel, prepare our costumes, and walk to the only restaurant nearby, Applebee's. The Applebee's is selling jello shots on the patio, and inside the restaurant is packed with revelers rooting for Georgia or Florida.

"Let's sit at the bar?" Tardio asks.

"I'm not sitting at the Applebee's bar," I say. "And besides, it's packed."

It's true, there are no seats at the Applebee's bar.

It is 7:45 on Friday evening.

We drink beers out of yard glasses and eat spinach and artichoke dip.

"Can you imagine getting a DUI leaving Applebee's?" I ask.

"Can you imagine leaving Applebee's sober?" asks Tardio.

Beach-Bound

Back at the hotel, we get dressed. I've brought my family's brown Baby Bjorn under strict instructions from my wife not to lose it. I buckle the baby carrier, insert my white baby, affix the aviator glasses onto the baby, while Tardio dons his scrubs.

"Do you think I should write William on my nametag or Bill? asks Tardio.

"I don't think people are going to get either," I say.

Tardio scrunches his face. "F---," he says, "you've got me worried now. Is my costume going to bomb?"

"Yes," I say, "I think so."

"F--- me," says Tardio.

We compromise on "Bill." The quotation marks, we surmise, add the requisite symbolism necessary to make it apparent that Tardio's name is not actually Bill, rather, the name is a part of the costume.

Health Care Bill has no pockets in the scrubs so he has me carry his credit card, cash, two Titans vs. Jags tickets, and his license. Later, after I drop them on the floor, Tardio admits that he didn't mean to give me the tickets to carry as well.

Once more we hop into a cab, only this time it's actually a shuttle service driven by a man named Meza. This time we're destined for the Jacksonville beaches. After another $40 fare, we arrive at Brix, which is a bar made of bricks and pronounced like bricks except spelled with an X.

We stand outside, awkwardly peering into the bar.

"I knew it, no one is in a costume," says Health Care Bill.

Tardio is correct. We decide to go for a walk, fake white baby in sunglasses swaying in front of me, and find the bar with the people with costumes inside.

Thirty minutes later, having traversed the entirely of Jacksonville Beach, we have not seen a single costume.

"It's almost like," Tardio says, "the city forbids them."

The only costumes we see is for a group of happy costumed people who are climbing the stairs to what appears to be a loft party. We contemplate following them. Instead we get in line for Brix, I show Tardio's license for him, "Bill's not my real name," he says to no reaction from the bouncer, walk outside to the patio, and sit in the darkness.

We begin to drink.

Health Care Bill regularly surveys the crowd looking for someone, anyone in a costume. "I was worried about looking like unfun losers if we didn't have costumes," he says, "now we just look like losers."

We begin to argue over who has to go get the next beers from the bar, and reveal our costumes in the light of day.

I have to.

The bartender, a youngish woman with dark hair and mean expression stares at me. "I don't get it," she says.

"Did you see the movie Hangover?" I ask. "I'm....

"I get it," she says, unsmiling.

Someone dressed as David Robinson from Navy shows up. He fist pounds me, ignoring Health Care Bill in the process. Then other costumes, mercifully, begin to arrive.

We make our way inside. By midnight the costumed people are beginning to take over. We're moving into the mainstream. At least those of us who are in costumes.

Most people believe that Health Care Bill is, in fact, a doctor who has not had time to change after work. We test his costume on others, tell them it's three words long and that Bill is the last word.

No one guesses it.

What's more, "Doctor Blue Bill," is the best guess. Primarily because, "Doctor Bill," the primary guess, has only two words.

Three bars later and enough beers and shots to sink two less shameless men, we end up in the street looking for a cab. I call Meza, the man who drove us in his shuttle service earlier.

He's too busy to get us.

Mercifully, we find another cab. As we climb in, I call my wife, at two in the morning back home in Nashville, and leave a long message for her that consists of Health Care Bill jokes. She has no idea what is going on.

A few minutes into the cab ride, I begin to get text messages with things like this written, "Hey, good night, U are cute, lol."

It's from a Jacksonville area code. Health Care Bill swears he didn't give my number to anyone.

At 3 a.m., as the most recent text arrives, it suddenly hits me, our car service man, Meza, has me confused with someone else and is sending flirtatious e-mails to me on accident.

"I think it's on purpose," says Health Care Bill angrily ripping off his nametag.

"At least you didn't go with William," I say.

For a while I stand fiddling with the Baby Bjorn, attempting to undo it. But I can't seem to get the strap undone. So I climb into bed still wearing the baby carrying device. I take out Carlos, now absent sunglasses because they were stolen by a Florida sorority girl, and toss him across the room.

He bounces softly off the wall. Health Care Bill is already snoring.

It's gameday in Jacksonville.

The Hangover

At 11 in the morning, Spencer Hall, from the Web site EDSBS.com, calls. I tell him I"m still in bed wearing a baby carrier.

"Get up, bitch," he says, "I went to bed at four and got up at seven. And I slept outside."

Spencer is like this.

I could have called him and said, "I feel awful, I just had 14 quaaludes, a roofie, and a bottle of Jack, and Spencer would say, "I just had 28 quaaludes, four roofies, and two bottles of Jack."

He is already tailgating.

I put on my gameday attire, a Draft Tebow 2010 shirt, purchased last night. I do this for three reasons: A.) I believe this is the only way Jacksonville will keep a pro football franchise. B.) I'm interested in how people will react to the shirt and C.) I've never actually worn an NCAA violation that could be purchased for $12.99 at a local Walgreen's.

We procure another cab. Because we're gentlemen, we pick up two other people, Florida fans, to share our cab ride. Also, because it's cheaper. We explain that they will have to wait on us in the Applebee's parking lot because Tardio left his credit card there last night.

"'I just had a girl from Georgia in the cab,' he says. "She was wasted. I offered her a bottle of water and she said, 'Water? Why would I fill up my f---ing stomach with water?'"
"I know there is going to be $4,000 in Oreo shooters charged on this thing," he says.

This cab driver is better than last night's. Primarily because he is not sending me flirtatious texts.

"I just had a girl from Georgia in the cab," he says. "She was wasted. I offered her a bottle of water and she said, 'Water? Why would I fill up my f---ing stomach with water?'"

The girlfriend of the Florida fan is an Oregon student. She has blonde hair, fair skin and is concerned that the Oregon-USC game may not be on local television here. Her boyfriend has other concerns. "We need to get you some sunscreen because I want to touch you later and I don't want you sunburned," he says.

Our cab driver drops us off on Bay Boulevard and we commence to take in the tailgate sites. Immediately, my t-shirt draws compliments from Florida fans.

Georgia fans? Not so much.

"He's a f------ fullback," screams one man in my direction. This will be repeated approximately 14 times. In all, virtually every Florida fan approves of the shirt.

In every direction around the stadium, people are tailgating in the bright sunshine. It's a perfect day, cloudless, blue sky with bright sunshine bouncing off of the St. John's River, music blaring in every direction. Cornhole bean bags bounce along the well-worn grass, flip cup and beer pong spills drip off old tables. Everywhere you look, alcohol flows like the river that divides Jacksonville.

Fans are clad in Georgia and Florida gear but they're also dressed in the colors of other, non-playing teams. As we walk, I see every SEC school represented. Many people at the Cocktail Party have come with no indication of actually going inside the stadium, or, it would appear, with any real care for the fact that a football game is taking place at all.

As kickoff nears, a portion of the tailgating crew peels off and heads for the stadium.

But only a portion.

Many more, tens of thousands, stay behind. We make our way to a family zone tailgate alongside the stadium. Above us, towering in the sky, the Georgia and Florida sections of the stadium meet in the end zone. A few fans, wearing their team colors, stand up on the back row of last row of the stadium. We can watch these men cheer and divine what is taking place on the field. The Florida fans are cheering. Back down on the ground, a large tent housing the Heisman Trophy provides a modicum of shade and here fallen tailgating soldiers of both sexes lay passed out in the shade.

A man, bedraggled and shirtless approaches us, "Are they not serving beer in here?" he asks.

"I don't know," I say.

"F----------k," he says, turning the u into a long, drawn out wail. "Why do they even have the game if they don't have beer?"

Now joined by my friend Chad, a Georgia fan, we stand amid a huge surging crowd, relatively young in age, much younger than the actual crowd in the stadium, baking in front of a projection screen showing the game. Another shirtless man stumbles past. Earlier his back was painted with a number 2 and Demps written above it, but now, in the heat, he's sweated away the paint so that all that remains is a trace outline of the body paint.

Florida has already scored by the time we arrive, a Tebow touchdown pass to Riley Cooper. Not to be outdone, we see a second Tebow-to-Coooper touchdown pass, and Verne Lundquist shares his favorite SEC anecdote. Did you know the two men are roommates?

Georgia, wearing their black helmets and black pants, has failed to provide an early challenge to the Gators.
Tardio pulls his bottle of Maker's Mark out and mixes it with a bottle of Pepsi. Five minutes later, we're surrounded by police officers, "You get two choices," say the officers, "dump it or leave."

Tardio dumps it.

With Georgia trailing 14-3, we leave en route to a rumored party thrown by a Florida Coastal Law Professor. The pass word is, "We're not with the party."

As we walk across the parking lot, we pass a man in a white Chevy Tahoe SUV, he's slumped in the front seat of the car blasting, "Forever Young" as loud as his radio will allow.

Now, in the parking lot, the smell of alcohol, dirt, and filth, sweat, and sunshine baking on asphalt melds together into a potent and pungent smell. Like a flood after the waters have receded. Everywhere are beer cans, discarded bottles, shattered glass, and now, the tailgating zombies are out, stumbling from one place to another, the wasteland of football Saturdays.

A girl, sitting on a curb, shoeless, dress haphazardly gathered around her mid-thigh stares up at us, shielding her face with her hand, "Do you have beer?" she asks.

"We're going for some," we say.

"Okay," she says, standing and falling into line behind us like she has just arrived on a deserted island and heard we knew where water is. Soon, two of her friends have also joined up, a collective search and rescue party with a blood alcohol level that would allow surgery without anesthesia.

I stop near a single port-o-potty marked, "Private."

"Did you bring your own port-o-potty?" I ask some tailgaters.

"Yes," they say, "we do it right."

They've also brought a chef, a man named Robert. Robert tells me that he brought 60 pounds of chicken, 50 pounds of filet steaks, 20 pounds of crawdads, 10 pounds of andouille sausage, 50 pounds of potatoes, and 30 pounds of corn-on-the-cob for the tailgate.

Inside the stadium roars, Bulldog side, as tight end Aron White snags a Joe Cox touchdown pass to slice the lead to 14-10. Later, White will give my favorite quote of the game, "We came inside and saw those uniforms, and we were pretty excited by them," White said. "But as they say, the uniforms, they don't score the points."

I'm so sick of all the people who give the uniforms credit for scoring.

"With more beers, we make our way to Church Street. ... It's like a third-world country here. ... If I wanted to buy a rooster and a 34-year-old woman from Romania, I'm confident I could buy both at the same hat stand."
With more beers, we make our way to Church Street, on the west side of the stadium. It's like a third world country here, dirtier even than the other areas we've been thus far. Old brick factories crumble, every building with more than one story seems to be falling into itself, a sports bar with a dirt floor leads into a dark room where I expect to see goats munching trash underfoot. The road is dusty, everything seems to be for sale. If I wanted to buy a rooster and a 34-year-old woman from Romania, I'm confident I could buy both at the same hat stand.

I don't see any guns, but I believe that every person within 10 feet of me has three concealed weapons. The heat is making my head swim. Stumbling people are everywhere, a few men lay passed out in the dry grass, open-mouthed, staring at the sky above them, shirts slightly raised above their bellies like bloated Civil War soldiers. Suddenly from nowhere, a dirt alley, a tin-roofed shack, a dirty-haired scalper with deep sunburns materializes trying to sell us tickets.

"Georgia is making a game of it this year, don't you boys want to see the second half?"

"How much?" I ask, because I want to know how much he wants for the tickets and also because I'm scared not to reply to him.

"Twenty bucks," he says.

I wave my hand in his direction. "Nah," I say.

"How much will you give me?" he asks.

Inside the bar, Herschel Walker is on the television screen, a Zaxby's commercial. A couple of Bulldog fans cheer, remembering better days. Their voices carry out into the hot street, my beer tastes like water. Water, with helium inside.

My lips are dry.

I spit into the street.

Someone is throwing up in a trash can. No one gives him a second glance.

"How about it?" asks the scalper.

A girl walks past then, she's wearing a bikini top and tight shorts 16, maybe, but already looks 42. ""The game?" she snorts, rolling her dark eyes, "you can't drink at the game."

Health Care Bill is beside me now. "Where's the game?" he asks, meaning, I think where can we watch the game.

It's Halloween in Jacksonville, a carnival of excess, a game within a game within a game. This makes sense to me when I write it down in my notebook.

Now?

I'm not so sure.

"Everywhere," I say. "Or nowhere."

Health Care Bill nods. "God," he says, "my costume was awful."

Outside, the Life of the 'Cocktail Party' originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 17:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Brandon Spikes Suspended for a Half for Attempted Eye Gouge

Michael David Smith — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:30:00 EST

Filed under: Florida, Georgia

Florida has suspended linebacker Brandon Spikes for the first half of Saturday's game against Vanderbilt for attempting to gouge the eyes of Georgia running back Washaun Ealey in this weekend's game.

The punishment is surprisingly light, considering the nature of the offense: It doesn't get much dirtier than poking an opponent in the eye, and it's surprising that Florida coach Urban Meyer didn't give Spikes at least a full game suspension. Meyer claimed, however, that Spikes was retaliating for a Georgia player cheap-shotting him earlier in the game, and he said he thinks his punishment was appropriate:

"I don't condone that and I understand what goes on on the football [field], but there's no place for that,'' Meyer said. "We're going to suspend Brandon for the first half of the Vanderbilt game. I spoke with him. That's not who he is. That's not who we are. He got caught up in emotion. I love Brandon Spikes. Our team does. We're going to move on. He has our full support."

Video has circulated of Spikes sticking his fingers into Ealey's face mask while Easley was at the bottom of a pile, and that video has infuriated Georgia fans, who have been calling for the SEC to deal harshly with Spikes. It's still possible that the SEC could come down harder on Spikes than Florida did, but for now, Spikes will just have to sit out a half, and then take the field in the third quarter against Vanderbilt.

Brandon Spikes Suspended for a Half for Attempted Eye Gouge originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:30:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Urban Meyer to Address Fightin' Gators

Jim Henry — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:50:00 EST

Filed under: Florida, Georgia, SEC

All is good with top-ranked Florida. Scout's honor, according to head coach Urban Meyer.

Meyer denied on Sunday that his Fightin' Gators -- specifically seniors Tim Tebow and Brandon Spikes -- were involved in a "skirmish" following UF's (pardon the pun) hard-fought victory at Mississippi State two weeks ago. Spikes admitted to the media following the Gators' 41-17 win over the Georgia Bulldogs on Saturday that the "skirmish" was more like two brothers venting at each other.

Meyer, however, did stress that he planned to talk with Spikes after news that a video surfaced on YouTube late Saturday night that showed Spikes appearing to gouge at the eyes of Georgia's Washaun Ealy after making a tackle.

"I'll talk with him today," Meyer said during his Sunday teleconference with the media. "He's a very emotional player. If that's the case, I'll have a very serious talk with him."

UF, which clinched the SEC East title with the win over the Bulldogs in Jacksonville, Fla., and secured a spot in the conference championship game when Tennessee beat South Carolina later Saturday night, is at home Saturday against Vanderbilt.

Spikes, who has been slowed by a groin injury the past few weeks but returned an interception for a touchdown against Georgia, told FanHouse and other media members following the game that he had not been playing to his potential.

"I had a lot of people saying I haven't been producing -- I haven't been doing this, haven't been doing that," Spikes said.

"Everything I take as a motivation. I did start off kind of slow but we are coming down towards the end of the season and this is where good teams step up. I just feel like I have to do something to help the team out and be productive."

Tebow also admitted that it was a difficult time for the Gators, saying there "was a lot of turmoil this past week." As far as a "skirmish" between Tebow and Spikes following the Mississippi State game, Meyer said no way.

"It wasn't Tim," Meyer said.

"Skirmish? I'm not sure. Did someone say that? There was no skirmish. There were some words said. It was much more than Tim. It was more, 'I can play better.' Mike Pouncey, with the offensive line, stood up and said, 'That one was on me.' It was all positive. It was all good stuff. We have to be careful that we don't put words in players' mouths.

"I'm going to have our people really watch that this week. That was absolutely incorrect. It was a bunch of guys taking fault for not playing well. A head coach came up and said he shouldn't have called that play from the 4-yard line. It was all positive."

Meyer also questioned media reports that he says twisted how the Gators are handling their business inside the locker room. UF, which has extended the nation's longest winning streak to 18 games, found itself in a struggle in the fourth quarter in consecutive victories over Arkansas and Mississippi State.

Even Meyer admitted to frustration, impatience and pressing to be perfect after the Mississippi State game. The Bulldogs are coached by former UF offensive coordinator Dan Mullen. Meyer said he wanted to make sure his players rallied around each other and ignored outside distractions.

Meyer explained that he addressed that situation following the game but it hasn't been described accurately.

"There was no altercation or finger-pointing speech," said Meyer, whose team made easy work of Georgia and won for the 17th time in the past 20 meetings in the series.

"I'm not sure where you're gathering your information. There was no finger-pointing speech whatsoever. There was a very positive speech about staying focused and facing a great team. There was no finger-pointing speech after the Mississippi State game. That was a very passionate locker room about how we can play better. I'm not sure where you're gathering your information, but those are two very incorrect statements."

Meyer simply relied on his oft-repeated theme, saying the Gators needed to remain focused if they wanted to achieve their goals. UF is looking for its first undefeated season in school history and a second consecutive national championship.

"At some point during February, you do reflect upon points during the season. Not now," Meyer said.

"Once again, our focus is on Vanderbilt. One thing you admire about this team if you look across the country. ... I don't know Texas. I know their coach very well. They're doing a good job of just focusing and playing.

"Cincinnati, I don't know them, but I get home and I flip (the television) on. There are teams that have the ability to stay focused. There's a reason that our kickoff unit, our punt unit is the best it's ever been at Florida. That's because of the attention to great detail and great focus on what we had to win that game. If we maintain that, we have a chance to win the next game. If we don't, we won't."

Urban Meyer to Address Fightin' Gators originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:50:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Florida Gives Georgia 'Tail Whipping

Jim Henry — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:06:00 EST

Filed under: Florida, Georgia, SEC

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - Two weeks, two months, two years.

The Georgia Bulldogs could have used all the time they wanted to prepare for the top-ranked Florida Gators and it probably wouldn't have made a difference in Saturday's Halloween showdown here on the banks of the St. Johns River. In fact, the Bulldogs haven't done much over the past two decades against their rivals.

UF beat the Bulldogs 41-17 for its 17th win in the last 20 meetings between the Southeastern Conference adversaries. More importantly, the Gators clinched the SEC East title and secured a spot in the conference championship game when good friend Tennessee, wearing new black jersey tops, beat South Carolina later Saturday night.

Call it the politically-correct "Battle At the Border" or the politically-incorrect "World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party," but make sure to call it a disaster for the puppies. Not even new black helmets and black pants -- let's not forget about last Saturday's bye week which gave the Bulldogs extra time to prep -- could change Georgia's luck.

Many of its fans decided to quietly escape the sunny, 86-degree temperatures at Jacksonville Municipal Stadium and head to their tailgates early in the fourth quarter following quarterback Joe Cox's second interception, ending any hopes of a rally.

The Gators (8-0, 6-0), who also hold the top spot in the BCS poll, extended the nation's longest winning streak to 18 games while the Bulldogs (4-4, 3-3) lost for the third time in four games.

Georgia defensive end Demarcus Dobbs, sitting on a stool and in full uniform, tried to make sense of his team's tailspin. The pressure is mounting on a program that is not only losing juice in the SEC but has had to watch neighbor Georgia Tech make national noise.

The Bulldogs also saw UF quarterback Tim Tebow break former Georgia great Hershel Walker's SEC record for rushing touchdowns.

"We have to keep [pressure] inside, we have to fight for each other and not get down," Dobbs said.

"There's pressure on us because this isn't the way the Georgia Bulldogs play. We need to do what we need to do to get better and win out. This is a disappointing loss. We faced some adversity in the first half and I thought we bounced back. We knew coming into the game that if we made mistakes they would capitalize."

Bingo. That's exactly what the Gators did -- and wanted to establish after coming off less-than-impressive victories over Arkansas and Mississippi State. UF's top-ranked defense nationally recorded a season-high four interceptions, converting them into 17 points.

The Gators apparently survived some family bickering this week, too. There was also word circulating that Tebow and linebacker Brandon Spikes squabbled, though Spikes downplayed the incident and said all was hunky-dory between the pair.

"There was a lot of turmoil this past week," said Tebow, who also tossed a pair of touchdown passes to roommate Riley Cooper.

"A lot of people were talking about stuff and it was frustrating. We wanted to come out here, play well, compete in good form and get a win. That's what we did and it was very special."

Spikes, who had slowed by a groin injury, returned an interception for a touchdown late in the fourth quarter to round out the scoring. It marked the third interception return for a touchdown in his career and his fifth career interception. It also put an exclamation mark on the Gators' effort and helps set the tone for the remainder of the year.

"I had a lot of people saying I haven't been producing -- I haven't been doing this, haven't been doing that," Spikes said.

"Everything I take as a motivation. I did start off kind of slow but we are coming down towards the end of the season and this is where good teams step up. I just feel like I have to do something to help the team out and be productive."

Any suspense against the Bulldogs ended on the opening play of the third quarter.

Trailing 24-10 and still within striking distance at the half, the Bulldogs turned over the ball on their opening possession of the second half, the third time in four years they have done that in this series.

Linebacker A.J. Jones deflected Cox's pass at the line of scrimmage, then made a diving catch for an interception at the Georgia 19.

The Gators, who had scored just two touchdowns in 15 previous trips within the red zone, made the most of this opportunity. With Tebow lined up behind center for three consecutive downs, he scored on an option play from five yards out on the last one.

Georgia coach Mark Richt promised his team would continue to search for answers. The Bulldogs were once again slowed by penalties (9-87 yards) and converted just 4-of-12 third-down conversions.

"We'll keep challenging our guys," Richt said.

"We have men of integrity who will do the right things regardless of the record. I don't think we'll have anyone who will give in. I think everyone will fight. I will do everything in my power to get us back on the winning track. I thought there was some good fight, but you can't turn it over like we did in the second half and mount a comeback."

Naturally, UF's success centered on Tebow.

On his record-breaking run, he slipped up the middle and ran mostly untouched for a 23-yard score with 1:32 remaining in the first half. The 50th rushing touchdown of his career gave the top-ranked Gators a 24-10 lead. Tebow actually dropped the football behind him, not realizing what he had just accomplished.

"I didn't immediately think about the record until the guys were reminding me," said Tebow, who finished with game-high 85 rushing yards on 18 carries, absorbed a few bull's-eye licks and played like a Heisman Trophy contender."Then I said, 'Oh yeah. Can I get the ball?' The most important thing has been the guys I've shared it all with.

"Breaking Herschel's record means a lot. Just to be mentioned in the same breath as Herschel Walker, it's extremely humbling and a little bit breathtaking because it's Herschel Walker. How am I going to be in the same league as Herschel Walker? I still can't understand it. It's pretty cool and it's really special."

Georgia defensive coordinator Willie Martinez, who has been under fire for the Bulldogs' porous numbers -- Georgia ranks last in the SEC and 84th nationally in scoring defense (27.7 ppg) -- couldn't slow Tebow but he found the words to praise him.

"He's just a special player," Martinez said.

"I don't know him personally but studying him and some of the things he does instinctively. His intangibles have to be off the charts. He's a great leader and on top of that he's talented to still run and throw the football."

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Florida's Brandon Sikes (51), Ahmad Black (35), and Janoris Jenkins (1) celebrates Sikes' fourth quarter interception and touchdown during their 41-17 victory over Georgia at Jacksonville Municipal Stadium in Jacksonville, Florida, Saturday, October 31, 2009. (Gary W. Green/Orlando Sentinel/MCT)

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Oklahoma quarterback Landry Jones (12) rushes by Kansas State defensive end Prizell Brown (46) during the first quarter of an NCAA college football game in Norman, Okla. on Saturday, Oct. 31 2009. (AP Photo/Alonzo Adams)

LSU linebacker Kelvin Sheppard, takes aim at Tulane quarterback Ryan Griffin (11) in the first half of an NCAA college football game in Baton Rouge, La., Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009. Griffin was sacked on the play. (AP Photo/Bill Haber)

Notre Dame receiver Golden Tate (23) tries to elude Washington State's Myron Beck (13) in the first half of an NCAA college football game Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009 in San Antonio, Texas. (AP Photo/Bahram Mark Sobhani)

New Mexico running back Kasey Carrier (21) spins away from San Diego State's Nick Sandford (42) on a 12-yard gain during the second quarter of an NCAA college football game Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009, in San Diego. (AP Photo/Denis Poroy)

Former LSU running back and Heisman trophy winner Billy Cannon enjoys the moment at the end of the first quarter of the LSU-Tulane NCAA college football game in Baton Rouge, La., Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009. This is the 50th anniversary of Cannon's 89-yard run against Mississippi. (AP Photo/Bill Haber)

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San Diego State quarterback Ryan Lindley throws a pass during the first quarter of an NCAA college football game against New Mexico, Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009, in San Diego. (AP Photo/Denis Poroy)

LSU quarterback Russell Shepard (10) jumps into the endzone to score a touchdown against Tulane in the first half of an NCAA college football game in Baton Rouge, La., Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009. (AP Photo/Bill Haber)

Former LSU running back and Heisman trophy winner Billy Cannon waves to the crowd at the end of the first quarter of the LSU-Tulane NCAA college football game in Baton Rouge, La., Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009. This is the 50th anniversary of Cannon's 89-yard run against Mississippi. (AP Photo/Bill Haber)

Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen throws a touchdown pass against Washington State in the first half of an NCAA college football game Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009 in San Antonio, Texas. (AP Photo/Bahram Mark Sobhani)

Cox, meanwhile, was 11-of-20 for165 yards with two touchdowns and three interceptions.

It was a familiar ending and feeling for the Bulldogs.

"I lost the game with three picks," Cox said.

"That score does not reflect how we played, how we moved the ball. I mean, it's the truth. Any time you turn the ball over that many times and give people chances to score, a good team is going to score and they did and that's why we got beat."

Florida Gives Georgia 'Tail Whipping originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:06:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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SEC Notebook: Auburn Ignoring Critics

Jim Henry — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:00:00 EST

Filed under: Auburn, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi State, SEC

Auburn's offensive struggles in October have been discussed and dissected.

The Tigers have dropped three of their last four games this month, including last Saturday's 31-10 stinker against LSU. Auburn gained a season-low 193 yards on a season-low 61 plays in that game, igniting a wave of criticism from fans who are still smarting from last season's collapse that saw the Tigers open 4-1 before losing six of their last seven.

Auburn (5-3 overall, 2-3 SEC) is determined to snap out of its funk Saturday against visiting Mississippi (5-2, 2-2), which marches into Jordan-Hare Stadium on a two-game win streak and winners of three of its last four.

A strong start has helped Auburn maintain its lofty national rankings on offense -- the Tigers are seventh in rushing offense (230.3 yards), 19th in total offense (430.9) and tied for 26th in scoring offense (31.8) -- but recent struggles are hard to ignore.

Chizik points to mistakes across the board and says he's not ready to push the panic button.

"I don't think that there is one thing that you can pinpoint," Chizik said.

"Nine guys can be doing everything right and two get beat. It's a little everywhere, a breakdown here or there that causes certain things to be exposed. And when you play teams like we're playing - the LSU's of the world - seemingly little things turn into big things. We're not panicking by any stretch of the imagination."

Quarterback Chris Todd has been the target of the fans' displeasure.

Todd threw for only 47 yards at LSU before giving way to backup Neil Caudle, who directed the Tigers to a late touchdown. Caudle completed 3-of-5 passes for 34 yards and hit tight end Philip Lutzenkirchen for a score. Todd, meanwhile, completed 8-of-14 passes with an interception. He was also sacked four times.

Chizik re-affirmed his commitment to the embattled Todd early in the week, saying his quarterback can handle the heat.

"Really and truly I just think that a quarterback has to be a tough-minded person," Chizik said.

"It all comes with the territory and they all mentally have to be prepared for it. If you're not mentally tough enough to get through those things then more than likely you shouldn't be a quarterback in this league. That's just the way it is. I mean it's no different than coaching, right? You get the good and you get the bad and it all comes with the deal."

Todd stressed -- no, he's not stressed out -- that he remains focus and confident.

"Anytime things happen, as a quarterback, you have to take that on your shoulders and take some blame when things are going bad," Todd told the Montgomery Advertiser.

"When things are good you get some credit for some stuff and when things are bad, you take that, too. I'm definitely working myself and trying to improve things that will help us move on and win some ballgames."

Chizik also doesn't believe outside criticism will affect his team.

"We can't control any of that, so it's what you choose to hear and what you choose to listen to and what you choose to watch," Chizik said.

"I hope they weren't listening to it when we were 5-0. I really do. Now we've dropped three. If they choose to listen to it, that's something I can't control, but I highly advise them to keep doing the things, keep working to win."

Welcome Home Billy

On a muggy Halloween night in 1959, LSU's Billy Cannon caught a punt and, shaking off a seemingly endless array of Ole Miss tacklers, raced 89 yards to a touchdown and into Louisiana folklore.

That run, the definitive play of the halfback's illustrious career, is the reason Cannon will make a are appearance Saturday at Tiger Stadium as LSU meets Tulane on Halloween.

Behind Cannon's run and two goal-line stands, the top-ranked Tigers won that game 7-3 against the third-ranked Rebels. LSU went on to win the national title and the play helped Cannon clinch the Heisman Trophy -- he remains the only LSU Tiger to win it.

"It's been a fun thing to live with, " Cannon, 72, told The (New Orleans) Times-Picayune. "But did I know that night it would be 50 years later and we'd be here talking about it, no I didn't."

Protection Is Key

Kentucky's experienced offensive line has picked up where it left off last year in protecting its quarterback.

The Wildcats are tied for 14th nationally and second in the SEC in the sack-allowed category. In seven games, UK has allowed just seven sacks.

Last year, the offensive line gave up only 13 quarterback sacks and ranked fourth in the nation in fewest sacks allowed per game. The UK line also helped the team rank eighth nationally in fewest tackles for loss allowed per game.

The Wildcats play Mississippi State in their Homecoming Saturday, one that will help determine Kentucky's postseason fate. Last week, UK defeated the ULM 36-13 to record its 17th consecutive non-conference victory, matching the school-record streak previously set from 1954-60.

"This is one of the biggest games of the season, if not the biggest," offensive guard Christian Johnson said. "If we win this it could put us ahead where we need to be and help us accomplish our goal of going to the best bowl game that we can."

Lighter in the Britches

If Florida and Georgia appear a tad faster in Saturday's showdown in Jacksonville, Fla, it might be because they were both able to shed nearly a pound from their uniforms.

Last season, UF athletic trainers approached McDavid Inc., the world's leading manufacturer of protective athletic apparel, about redesigning the pads players wear under their uniforms. They wanted the least amount of restriction without sacrificing protection.

The next day, McDavid presented them with the HexPro Performance Mesh Supporter with HexPad, affectionately referred to as the "Elephant Jock."

McDavid's HexPad technology protects the hips and tailbone without excess weight or fabric, while it's material holds a cup in place to protect the groin. At 3.5 ounces, the "Elephant Jock" is nearly a pound lighter than the pads many players wore last year.

Other collegiate teams that have purchased the undergarment include LSU, Arkansas, Indiana, Cincinnati, Texas, Virginia and Oklahoma.

SEC Notebook: Auburn Ignoring Critics originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Tebow's Touchdown Mark, Trick or Treat?

Clay Travis — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 08:05:00 EST

Filed under: Florida, Georgia, SEC, Fans, General CFB Insanity

There is no more beloved Georgia Bulldog football player than Herschel Walker and no more beloved Florida football player than Tim Tebow.

Disagree if you like, but I feel pretty confident in both statements. Sadly, these gridiron warriors are separated by a generation and never will get the chance to play one another in the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. By the time Tebow arrived at Florida, Walker was only in the news alongside Tebow for acknowledging his multiple personality disorder.

Until now. Saturday, Tebow, who trails the Georgia running back by one rushing touchdown for his career, is likely to break Walker's all-time rushing touchdown total in the SEC.

Or is he?

It seems there's a bit of an accounting error in the record books. See, the SEC didn't start counting bowl game touchdowns in the end of season totals until recently. So Herschel Walker actually scored five more touchdowns for the Bulldogs that don't appear in his official stats. That means Walker's 49 career rushing touchdowns should actually be 54 career rushing touchdowns. Now, right now, you might be thinking to yourself, that doesn't really matter very much. But if you know Georgia and Florida fans, you know the exact opposite is true, it matters an awful lot, particularly for Georgia fans who continue to worship at the altar of St. Herschel even as we approach 30 years since he last scorched across the Sanford Stadium grass.

Tebow's ascension to the top of the career rushing record in the SEC begs the question, how hard would it really be to put five interns in charge of reviewing the stats from every bowl game, add the touchdowns up with proper attribution, and then include them in the season totals? I mean, when you consider the amount of money that SEC schools waste on, say, travel, how can not having accurate records from bowl games really be an issue?

Especially when it comes to a basic stat like touchdowns?

I'm not saying they need to be able to recreate sacks or punt yardage from ancient bowl games, but touchdowns? Come on, let's get on this. It wouldn't even cost a dime. But if the SEC wanted it to cost a dime so they could be a bit more certain about past histories, they could bring in an accounting firm, provide them with all the bowl records featuring every team, and let them crunch the data for a single weekend. By the end of that weekend all the stats would be accurate forever.

In fact, this idea makes so much sense, how has it not happened? I might turn this into a personal crusade until someone in the SEC offices explains why this is impossible. From doing research on my last book, I know the sports information departments keep all of the old clips from games that they can. Certainly, they keep all the old records from bowl games.

I'll keep y'all updated on this quest.

In the meantime, you can imagine why Georgia fans are so incensed at the idea of Tebow breaking Walker's record. It's one of the few things they have to hold onto in this series. In fact, in the 27 years since Herschel Walker last played for the Bulldogs, Georgia has won just eight Cocktail Parties. It's even worse since 1990. In the last 19 seasons, Georgia is 3-16 against the Gators.

Is there a more lopsided bitter rivalry game in the country?

As if that weren't enough, Georgia is coming off its worst loss in the series since 1996. And, of course, there's that tiny little fact about Urban Meyer taking two timeouts inside the final minute so Georgia fans could stew over their 49-10 defeat. Now, on top of all that, Tim Tebow is going to take Herschel's record? Right in front of Bulldog fans? Taking the record against Georgia is so diabolical, it almost seems planned.

Yep, these are the times that try a Bulldog fan's soul. And not just because Willie Martinez is still prowling the sideline, and he and Mark Richt spent the bye week convincing all recruits that Martinez wasn't going anywhere. With a bye week to prepare, a team that is over a two-touchdown underdog, facing a number one team on the other sideline that hasn't lost in 17 consecutive games, Georgia fans are doing their best to string together a plausible argument about why this year will be different than all the others that have come before.

And I'll give you this prediction: It's going to be a single-digit game.

Come Saturday, I'll be there to find out exactly how much both teams care when I attend the Cocktail Party. And by "attend the Cocktail Party," I mean don't actually enter the stadium. My goal this weekend is to capture the Cocktail Party atmosphere without managing to see a single live snap. So from Friday when I touch down in Jacksonville until Sunday when I take off, I want to see it all. This makes even more sense when you consider the obvious -- it's Halloween.

The always insane Cocktail Party will likely be ratcheted up to an entirely new level of insanity. And the costumes, my God, the costumes, will blow your mind away. That's why I'm soliciting costume suggestions. Although, to be fair, I'm really not sure how many people will be wearing costumes to the game. And is there anything worse than being the only tool in a costume when everyone else is dressed normally? The only ground rules for costume suggestions are that it can't be so hot to make me pass out (alcohol causing me to pass out is, of course, a natural hazard of the game) and I'm not dressing up as a girl.

Not again this year, anyway.

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North Carolina's T.J. Yates (13) looks to pass to teammate Anthony Elzy (6) as Virginia Tech's Cody Grimm (26) defends during the first half of an NCAA college football game at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, Va., Thursday, Oct. 29, 2009. (AP Photo/Don Petersen)

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North Carolina's Jheranie Boyd (87) celebrates his touchdown against Virginia Tech with teammate Jonathan Cooper during the first half of an NCAA college football game at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, Va., Thursday, Oct. 29, 2009. (AP Photo/Don Petersen)

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BLACKSBURG, VA - OCTOBER 29: Head coach Frank Beamer of the Virginia Tech University Hokies watches the action in the second half of the game against the North Carolina Tar Heels at Lane Stadium on October 29, 2009 in Blacksburg, Virginia. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Frank Beamer

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BLACKSBURG, VA - OCTOBER 29: Running back Ryan Williams #34 of the Virginia Tech University Hokies carries the ball in the second half of the game against the North Carolina Tar Heels at Lane Stadium on October 29, 2009 in Blacksburg, Virginia. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Ryan Williams

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BLACKSBURG, VA - OCTOBER 29: Cam Thomas #93 and Bruce Carter #54 of the North Carolina Tar Heels tackle Ryan Williams #34 of the Virginia Tech University Hokies during the second half of the game at Lane Stadium on October 29, 2009 in Blacksburg, Virginia. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Bruce Carter;Cam Thomas;Ryan Williams

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North Carolina's Greg Little (8) looks for running room against Virginia Tech during second-quarter action at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, Virginia, Thursday, October 29, 2009. (Robert Willett/Raleigh News & Observer/MCT)

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North Carolina's Charles Brown (12) tries to make an interception after breaking up a pass intended for Virginia Tech's Dyrell Roberts (11) in the first quarter at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, Virginia, Thursday, October 29, 2009. (Robert Willett/Raleigh News & Observer/MCT)

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North Carolina's Tydreke Powell (91) sacks Virginia Tech's quarterback Tyrod Taylor (5) in the second quarter at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, Virginia, Thursday, October 29, 2009. (Robert Willett/Raleigh News & Observer/MCT)

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North Carolina's Jheranie Boyd (87) goes over Virginia Tech's Rashad Carmichael (21) to reel in a pass from quarterback T. J. Yates for score a touchdown in the second quarter at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, Virginia, Thursday, October 29, 2009. (Robert Willett/Raleigh News & Observer/MCT)

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BLACKSBURG, VA - OCTOBER 29: Quarterback Tyrod Taylor #5 of the Virginia Tech University Hokies is defended by E.J. Wilson #92 of the North Carolina Tar Heels during the game at Lane Stadium on October 29, 2009 in Blacksburg, Virginia. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** E.J. Wilson;Tyrod Taylor

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It's also going to be, wait for it, 89 degrees. The atmosphere around the stadium -- the only game that fills the Jacksonville Jaguar stadium up all year -- is going to be so laden with alcohol fumes that if someone struck a large match the entire place would explode.

On Cocktail Party weekend Jacksonville is like Sodom and Gomorrah and Tebow's the only person who wouldn't turn to salt. And I can't wait for the experience. I want to hear from y'all about what I have to do, see, and experience. So shoot me a line at clay.travis@gmail.com. Then check back on Sunday for the story of the game. Or, more accurately, the story of what went on around the game.

Tebow's Touchdown Mark, Trick or Treat? originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Fri, 30 Oct 2009 08:05:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Georgia Blends Rest, Preparation for Upset 'Cocktail'

Jim Henry — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 06:00:00 EST

Filed under: Florida, Georgia, SEC

LSU was fresh from its off week and waxed Auburn Saturday night. Tennessee was rested from its break and nearly upset Alabama earlier Saturday. Florida, of course, had the opportunity to rest injured quarterback Tim Tebow during its off week earlier this month before traveling to LSU and beating the Tigers with Tebow behind center.

Now it's Georgia's turn to see how it fares following a breather last Saturday.

While the Bulldogs enter Saturday's SEC showdown against top-ranked Florida in Jacksonville, Fla., as a double-digit underdog, they at least have a little history on their side. Georgia is 11-3 under head coach Mark Richt following an open date, including 1-0 (42-30 two seasons ago) when it comes before playing UF.

Naturally, Richt welcomed an extra week of preparation for Florida (7-0), which found itself in a struggle in the fourth quarter for the second consecutive week last Saturday at Mississippi State. But Richt is more interested in his team playing a complete game, something the Bulldogs (4-3) have only come close to doing once all year.

"It's always nice and you hope you can turn that into a positive for your football team but there's just no guarantee," Richt said when asked of the benefits of an off week.

"I think there's probably too much made of it. I don't know if that has been the biggest factor other than who was better that day."

Of course, all the chit-chat leading up to last year's game was Georgia's touchdown celebration from 2007 and what kind of revenge would UF coach Urban Myer and the Gators have in mind. A 49-10 victory, punctuated by a couple of timeouts in the final minute, was worth a thousand words to Gators everywhere.

"That stuff [from last year] hasn't even entered my mind," Richt said. "I'm just trying to prepare for this game - period. All that stuff from last year doesn't mean much."

What does mean much for the Bulldogs, who are 1-2 against the nation's top-ranked team -- their last victory was 24-3 over the Gators in 1985 -- is to finally play to their potential, from start to finish.

Senior quarterback Joe Cox helped snap Georgia's two-game losing streak two Saturdays ago by directing a 34-10 win at Vanderbilt. Cox completed 16-of-31 passes to 10 different receivers and also had a career-long 65-yard touchdown pass to receiver A.J. Green. The offense had scored just two touchdowns in the previous 11 quarters.

Georgia's defense, which entered the Vandy game ranked 100th nationally in scoring defense, registered three sacks and an interception that set up the Bulldogs' first score.

"The season has been up and down; there's no doubt about that," Richt said.

"We've just not played consistently well, in really any game this year. I guess the closes we came was against Vanderbilt where we did well offensively, defensively and special teams. We were pretty good overall, but we know we'll have to be much better (Saturday)."

Georgia has used four different starting combinations on its offensive line this season, and the fifth could be on the way against the Gators. That being said, Richt stressed pivotal keys will be the Bulldogs' ability to protect Cox and display offensive balance against one of the nation's best defenses.

UF has allowed only four touchdowns this season -- two rushing, two passing. (The other two touchdowns scored against the Gators were on interception returns.) They are No. 1 in the nation in total defense, No. 2 in scoring defense, No. 2 in pass defense.

"They are very, very talented and difficult to deal with," Richt said.

"They've got guys just about at every spot better than your average bear, you know, and they are going to be a great challenge for us no doubt.

"The biggest concern anybody would have is to get into a situation where they know you are going to throw and they know you have to throw it to succeed. That's when things get very difficult to protect and very difficult to move the ball when there's no threat of a run or a play-action pass."

Despite Florida's issues, specifically on offense -- the Gators have scored just seven touchdowns in 25 trips in the red zone in SEC play -- Richt expects UF's best effort. The Gators scored five touchdowns in five tries in the red zone last year against Georgia.

UF quarterback Tim Tebow promised the Gators are working hard this week to fix their struggles inside an opponent's 20-yard line.

"We moved the ball on every possession (last weekend), just drove it right down the field and then we'd get in the red zone or do something kind of stupid and it cost us a drive," Tebow said during his Monday morning press conference with the media. (He also apologized for ducking the media after Saturday's game).

"We have to fix those little mistakes, they're very costly. There are things we need to work on and get right and that game could have been out of hand quickly. We're not excited the last few games how we've played in the red zone but we're going to get better."

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LSU coach Les Miles encourages his team before the start of their NCAA college football game against Auburn in Baton Rouge, La., Saturday, Oct. 24, 2009. (AP Photo/Bill Haber)

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LSU coach Les Miles and LSU cornerback Brandon Taylor (15) and LSU wide receiver Ian Harding (88) celebrate after their victory over Auburn in an NCAA college football game in Baton Rouge, La., Saturday, Oct. 24, 2009. LSU defeated Auburn 31-10. (AP Photo/Bill Haber)

Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez argues with field judge Craig Jeffreys during the fourth quarter of an NCAA college football game against Penn State in Ann Arbor, Mich., Saturday, Oct. 24, 2009. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

University of Connecticut teammates Kashif Moore (left) and Kijuan Dadney (right) speak at the funeral service of slain UConn cornerback Jasper Howard at New Birth Baptist Church in Miami, Florida, Monday, October 26, 2009. Howard was fatally stabbed outside a dance on the school's campus. (Lilly Echeverria/Miami Herald/MCT)

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JoAngila Howard, mother, and Henry Williams, step-father, of UConn cornerback Jasper Howard touch the flowers and mausoleum of Howard at the cemetery in Miami, Monday, Oct. 26, 2009. Howard was a UConn football player fatally stabbed to death outside a dance on Connecticut's campus. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz)

A horse carriage carrying the casket of UConn cornerback Jasper Howard arrives at the cemetery in Miami, Monday, Oct. 26, 2009. Howard was a UConn football player fatally stabbed to death outside a dance on Connecticut's campus. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz)

An unidentified man views the body of Jasper Howard, at his funeral, Monday, Oct. 26, 2009, in Miami. Howard was a UConn football player fatally stabbed to death outside a dance on Connecticut's campus. (AP Photo/J Pat Carter)

Daneisha Freeman, UConn cornerback Jasper Howard's girlfriend, watches as the mausoleum is prepared to receive the casket of Jasper Howard at the cemetery in Miami, Monday, Oct. 26, 2009. Howard was fatally stabbed outside a dance on Connecticut's campus. (AP Photo/Alan Diaz)

Family members and friends of University of Connecticut cornerback Jasper Howard gathered for his funeral service at New Birth Baptist Church in Miami, Florida, Monday, October 26, 2009. Howard was fatally stabbed outside a dance on the school's campus. (Lilly Echeverria/Miami Herald/MCT)

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The Bulldogs should also be healthier than they've been in several weeks -- linebackers Marcus Dowtin and Akeem Dent are expected to return.

"We've got to prepare for this game thinking that Florida is going to be at its best, which I'm sure they will be," Richt said.

"We have no reason to think that's not we're going to get. We've always gotten Florida's best shot before so that's we've got to be expecting."

Georgia Blends Rest, Preparation for Upset 'Cocktail' originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 27 Oct 2009 06:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Starting 11: From BCS Title to Toilet Bowl

Clay Travis — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:00:00 EST

Filed under: Cincinnati, Florida, Iowa, Oklahoma State, SEC

I'm convinced there's an epidemic currently afoot in America that receives no attention: Cell phones dropped in the toilet.

I have five different friends who have confessed to this via sheepish e-mails (presumably not from the toilet-ed phones). They're trying to reprogram a new phone. This problem is of epic importance, particularly with the importance of smart phones, which can cost upwards of $500. Do you know how much money we've lost by having to replace a BlackBerry or an iPhone because of fumbles during urination? If this happened to Warren Buffet, and he hadn't backed up his information, we'd need a new stimulus package. What if Obama's BlackBerry vanished down the toilet?

I'm convinced that every day in America we throw away the equivalent of the GNP of Moldova in dropped cell phones in toilets. The issue struck me on Saturday as I tailgated and went inside a disgusting port-o-potty. Because a drop here is even worse. How much would it ruin your day if instead of the home bathroom your cell phone went into a port-o-potty? Because, be honest, you might be willing to reclaim a phone dropped at home? But a port-o-potty? It's with the effluvium for all eternity.

What's more, what about if you go to a port-o-potty, drop your phone, and can't find your friends anymore? . We all live with the idea that we're within easy mobile contact. Suddenly, you're the fan with no clothes. Not to mention no idea who is winning games on Saturday. Anyway, with this august question as prelude, let's dive right in to the ClayNation Starting 11.

1. If you're a Cincinnati fan with dreams of a national championship, you need to start rooting for West Virginia and Pittsburgh really, really hard.

Why?

Because an 8-1 West Virginia could come to Cincinnati Nov. 13. Even better, a 10-1 Pittsburgh could loom Dec. 5, the day the SEC and Big 12, other combatants for the BCS title spot, will be playing their conference championship games. I'm starting to believe that an undefeated Cincinnati will end up in the national championship game if there is only one other undefeated team. Why? Because they get two premier games against teams that will, by then, be ranked in the top 15 if they keep winning. In fact, a 10-1 Pittsburgh would likely be a top-10 team.

I can even sketch out the argument for why an undefeated Cincinnati would have dibs over every other team that doesn't emerge unscathed from the BIg 12 or the SEC. They'll have run the table in the Big East and played two major college opponents in the out-of-conference -- Oregon State on the road and Illinois at home. Aside from the Big East being reasonably strong this season, I think this schedule, featuring two would-be powers from other conferences, eliminates the weak schedule argument. Especially since no one foresaw the Illini collapse when this schedule was made. Plus, and just wait for this argument to get trotted out there, Cincinnati beat Oregon State by 10 on the road, while USC won by six at home.

In the ridiculous cake baking contest that is the BCS, that's a pretty compelling argument for why the Bearcats should be in over USC.

2. Iowa, Iowa, my kingdom for Iowa's good fortune.

How many teams come back from a third-and-18 conversion on a hook-and-ladder? How many teams can boast wins of two, two, three and one point in their eight games? The team they beat by a lone point, Northern Iowa, has a 10-point loss to North Dakota State and a touchdown loss to Southern Illinois on its resume. Arkansas State, a team Iowa beat by three, is 1-4 against BCS teams.

And on Saturday, Iowa needed a defensive holding call to erase an interception, and a fourth down touchdown pass on the final play of the game to come away with the win. So, to say you don't believe that Iowa is a top echelon team, has some validity, but credit where credit is due, Iowa is 8-0 for the first time ever.

How does Iowa get to the BCS title game? Losses by Texas, USC and probably Cincinnati (Interesting voter aversion test: Which embattled conference do you effectively vote against, Big East or Big Ten?) and maybe even then a little prayer that livestock per capita becomes an only slightly-less-nonsensical BCS component. And they still have to beat Ohio State in Columbus Nov. 14.

At least they've got luck on their side. Not to mention, an underdiscussed benefit, finishing their season on November 21 and getting to sit around and see what the rest of the contenders can do with all the pressure on them for the final two weeks of the season.

3. Tim Tebow threw two interceptions, played a mediocre game, and bailed on the post-game press conference.

That's unfortunate.

There has never been a college athlete who has received more glowing press coverage than Tim Tebow. I genuinely believe that's true. Even after having a poor game -- by his standard -- Florida still won by double digits. For a senior to dodge out on the post-game was beneath his stature.

Put it this way, Tennessee's Daniel Lincoln went on the road and missed three field goals against the No. 1 team in the country. Any one of those kicks would have won the game for his team. Did he dodge the post game press conference?

Nope.

4. Watch out for Oklahoma State in the Big 12 South.

After their 34-7 win over Baylor, the Cowboys are now 6-1 this season and undefeated in the Big 12. Only you haven't heard a damn thing about them in the past month that didn't involve Dez Bryant being suspended. Look, they lost to Houston back in September, we get it.

There's no great crime in that, Houston is a fine team with a superb offense. Certainly other one-loss teams have lost to inferior opponents, USC ring a bell? Meanwhile in their five consecutive wins, Zac Robinson has been smoking.

Yet, given all the preseason hype, the loss to Houston completely killed all interest in the Cowboys.

Until, guess what, Texas comes to town this weekend. Beat the Longhorns and Oklahoma State is about to set the BCS all aflutter. Would a one-loss Texas that doesn't win their division still have a shot at advancing to the BCS title game without playing in their conference championship game?

Maybe.

Would they have a better argument for playing for the title than a one-loss Oklahoma State team that beat them?

Nope.

5. You think the phone in the toilet business has no applicability to college football players, right? You're wrong.

It's a plague I tell you. Even football players are not immune.

"The Tigers' starting running back Joseph Doss was suspended for the first half because he was late to a pre-game meeting. Doss said he normally uses his cell phone as an alarm clock but couldn't after he dropped the phone in the toilet."

6. Ball State had a 300-yard rusher and a 200-yard rusher in their win over Eastern Michigan.

This was the first time in NCAA history that a team had a 300- and 200-yard rusher in the same game.

Ball State had, wait for it, one yard passing.

Can you imagine being the Eastern Michigan defensive coordinator watching game film on this one? Do you think he changes his resume to reflect the one yard passing? Like beneath his position--Defensive Coordinator--does he list, "Allowed only 1 yard passing to Ball State in 2009."

What about calling a pass defense, do you think he did it the entire game? Wouldn't it be great to hear the headset calls from this game?

7. Is the Landry Jones mustache the college football equivalent of Spencer Pratt's cowboy hat, so compelling you can't look away?

I think so.

Every time I think I should hate it, I can't help but admire the bravado.

Also, if I'd had to shave the beard after the Alabama game, I was going to leave a stache with a handlebar that came down the side. It would have looked scary, potentially felonious, but it would have also been pretty awesome.

8. The perception that the SEC is rooting for Alabama and Florida is firmly locked in the fan consciousness.

We can argue about whether a systematic conspiracy is remotely possible ... Actually, we can't. It isn't. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist as a fervent point of belief among certain pockets of SEC fans. We sports fans are great conspiracy theorists when it comes to our teams.

But Commissioner Slive is not firing magic bullets from the SEC gatling as he stands on a grassy knoll. There are several reasons for this. No. 1, Slive has a Montgomery Burns-like strength about him, I'm not sure he could pull the trigger if he tried. No. 2 , well, it's just not happening.

But here's what might be happening, the officials, like many of us, have bought into the idea that Alabama and Florida are vastly superior teams to the rest of the conference. Once you buy into that argument you're more likely to notice opposing teams playing in the margin of the rules than you are the dominant teams.

And I'd argue that's what we're seeing take place in games that feature those teams, not an intentional bias in favor of them when it comes to the calls, if there is, in fact, any bias at all, but just a preconditioned perception of superiority that allows those situations to occur.

9. What the funnel is up with Chris Todd and Auburn? A thesis for you.

Early in the season I thought Gene Chizik was a miracle worker given his ability to make Todd a star, but now Todd looks incapable of leading his team to victory against anyone.

Okay, maybe Furman.

But I think Todd offers an interesting illustration of what happens in the SEC. The defenses catch up to and eclipse the offenses every year about this time in the season.

New thesis: the defensive SEC coaching staffs have become so good at what they do, that much like the NFL, merely being good at one or two things doesn't allow you to succeed on a consistent basis. You have to evolve during the season, and most offenses aren't that good at evolving. So Auburn's offense has been quashed. Same with Arkansas and Alabama and Florida. Same with virtually every team in the conference.

Don't believe me?

There are only two offenses in the top 30 in the SEC: Florida and Auburn. The latter is rapidly plummeting and will be outside the top 30 soon if things hold true.

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Funeral services were held for slain University of Connecticut cornerback Jasper Howard at New Birth Baptist Church in Miami, Florida, Monday, October 26, 2009. Howard was fatally stabbed outside a dance on the school's campus. (Lilly Echeverria/Miami Herald/MCT)

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University of Connecticut players arrive for the funeral services of UConn cornerback Jasper Howard at New Birth Baptist Church in Miami, Florida, Monday, October 26, 2009. Howard was fatally stabbed outside a dance on the school's campus. (Lilly Echeverria/Miami Herald/MCT)

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10. I'm not sure I would have gotten out alive if the ref had called Alabama's Terrence Cody for excessive celebration after his blocked kick.

I had on orange pants. The refs would have been safe. Me? Not so much.

Look, I know he ripped his helmet off, and I know there has been a dispute about whether the penalty should have been called and what the impact would have been. The end result would have been negligible. But what if they'd called the penalty and misapplied the rule so that Tennessee re-kicked for the win?

Would you really be surprised if that happened?

Which leads me to this...

Meanwhile there are five defenses inside the top 22. Five! Florida is first, Bama is fourth, Tennessee is tenth, Ole Miss is 20th and LSU is 22nd.

Remember the old thesis that defenses were better than offenses when the season starts? The idea was that offenses would work into their rhythm and get better as the season progressed while defenses wouldn't? I think we might have flipped the cliche in the SEC, the defenses are quicker to react and shut down things that work offensively than they ever have been before.

Keep this in mind as the season progresses, because those dominant defenses perform well in bowl games. Offenses? Often, they don't.

11. Last, but not least, I give and I give and I give.

Wet phone survival tips.

Starting 11: From BCS Title to Toilet Bowl originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Gators Determined to Ignore Critics

Jim Henry — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 20:30:00 EST

Filed under: Florida, Georgia, Mississippi State, SEC

The Florida Gators are circling the wagons.

Even while UF regained the top spot Sunday in The Associated Press poll from Alabama, which was ranked No. 1 for a week ahead of the Gators, UF coach Urban Meyer appears to be growing weary of critics focusing only on his team's blemishes.

Though the Gators pulled away from Mississippi State in the fourth quarter for a 29-19 victory Saturday night to push their season record to 7-0 for the fifth time in team history and first time since 1996, questions continue to outnumber answers.

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"There's a lot to build on and I'm going to build on that, not this other stuff," Meyer said Sunday during his teleconference with the media.

Of course, time also continues to tick as UF turns its attention to Saturday's showdown against Georgia in Jacksonville, Fla.

While the Gators extended the nation's longest winning streak to 17 against the MSU Bulldogs, coached by Dan Mullen, who helped UF win two of the last three national titles as offensive coordinator, they found themselves in a struggle in the fourth quarter for the second consecutive week.

Even Meyer admits to frustration, impatience and pressing to be perfect, but he also wants to make sure his players rally around each other and ignore outside distractions. Meyer addressed that situation following the game.

No finger-pointing and let's enjoy the journey, please.

"Very on guard with the human element," Meyer said.

"I have seen it in the past, I haven't seen it on this team yet. Just like this group of questions I have today [Sunday] I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about the young players and how they handle it and the way questions are sometimes worded and all of a sudden it's front-page headlines so-and-so said this, of course he didn't say that.

"I know how our players feel about each other. I just want to make sure that I addressed it. We had a great meeting and very good chemistry on our team and our guys are going to stick together."

Naturally, a second consecutive victory -- and fourth in the past five meetings -- over rival Georgia would go a long way to soothe Gator souls. Georgia (4-3), idle last Saturday, snapped a two-game losing streak with a 34-10 victory over Vanderbilt on Oct. 17.

Meyer won't have to look very far when he begins his search for answers this week

Once again Saturday, UF faltered in the red zone. Mississippi State kept quarterback Tim Tebow and the Gators out of the end zone on four of five trips into the red zone. UF has scored just two touchdowns in 15 trips inside the opponent's 20-yard line in the last three games.

Tebow, meanwhile, had two interceptions returned for touchdowns and declined requests for interviews and quickly boarded the team bus following the game. It was only the second time in Tebow's UF career that he has tossed two picks in a game.

The Gators' passing game hasn't had much variety to it -- only tight end Aaron Hernandez (33 catches, 392 yards) and receiver Riley Cooper (27-396) have caught double-digit passes. Cooper, in fact, has 19 more receptions than the team's third-leading receiver, David Nelson.

Tebow also has more interceptions (four) than touchdowns (three) in five SEC games.

The good news was at least UF rushed for 249 yards against the Bulldogs, topping the 200-yard mark for the first time in three games.

Meyer's described Tebow as "very frustrated."

"He's used to playing at a certain level," Meyer said Sunday.

"A lot of guys are frustrated. You go down there and win 29-19, 10 points on the road and same old song and dance as the last couple weeks. Guys want to play better. One of the greatest stories of all is when we hold that Arkansas team [last week] and the defense was really upset with how they played.

"Our job as coaches is to coach them really hard, manage expectations and just play, have fun playing the game and not worry about this, worry about that. Today's day and age that's hard because it's just thrust upon you. Not coaches, who cares about coaches? I'm talking about these young players."

The Gators also received another stellar performance from its defense, even without injured All-American linebacker Brandon Spikes (groin) and two defensive linemen.

UF stuffed the Bulldogs' ground game, forced three turnovers as it picked off a season-high three passes and recorded four sacks, pushing its total to 13 over the last three games.

The Gators also survived potential disaster in the fourth quarter when linebacker Dustin Doe returned an interception 23 yards for a touchdown, but replays showed Brandon McRae might have stripped the ball from the celebrating linebacker short of the goal line.

Despite the frustration and nit-picking that accompanies the Gators' struggles, Meyer is not interested in excuses. Much has been made this year of lost play makers to the NFL, injuries and questionable decisions.

"You don't even think about that kind of stuff as far as the expectations and did we foresee an issue," Meyer said when asked if he underestimated the loss of players from last season such as receivers Percy Harvin and Louis Murphy.

"We lost a couple good players. It was a little like in '06, we lost a couple good players on defense. Everybody has that."

While UF didn't look like a national championship team Saturday, it's one of the few that still have a chance to win it as October begins to draw to a close.

"It's part of college football at the highest level," Meyer said.

"Why is one area or two areas or three areas not performing at a high level? There's more focus on that. We're going to work hard to improve that, that's what we do."

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Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen, left, congratulates Florida coach Urban Meyer following an NCAA college football game in Starkville, Miss., Saturday, Oct. 24, 2009. Florida won 29-19. (AP Photo/Jim Lytle)

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Florida quarterback Tim Tebow (15) stiff arms Mississippi State defender Johnthan Banks (13) for a touchdown during the first quarter during an NCAA college football game in Starkville, Miss., Saturday, Oct. 24, 2009. No. 2 Florida won 29-19. (AP Photo Jim Lytle)

Alabama defensive coordinator Kirby Smart, left, celebrates with defensive lineman Terrence Cody (62) after Cody blocked the first of two Tennessee field goal attempts during an NCAA college football game at Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, Ala., on Saturday, Oct. 24, 2009. Cody also blocked a field goal in the closing seconds of the fourth quarter to clinch the Crimson Tide's 12-10 victory. (AP Photo/The Birmingham News, Mark Almond)

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Boise State defensive end Byron Hout pokes the ball out of Hawaii running back Alex Green's arms and would recover the ball for the Broncos on Oct. 24, 2009 in Honolulu, HI. (AP Photo/Joe Jaszewski - Idaho Statesman) MANDATORY CREDIT

Hawaii wide receiver Greg Salas is pulled out of bounds by Boise St defensive back Cedric Febis during the fourth quarter at the NCAA college football game Saturday, Oct. 24, 2009 in Honolulu. (AP Photo/Marco Garcia)

Boise St wide receiver Titus Young flashes a Hawaiian "shaka" after making a touchdown against Hawaii during the second quarter at the NCAA college football game, Saturday, Oct 24, 2009 in Honolulu. (AP Photo/Marco Garcia)

Boise St wide receiver Austin Pettis signals for a touchdown after making a catch in the end zone against Hawaii during the second quarter at the NCAA college football game, Saturday, Oct 24, 2009 in Honolulu. (AP Photo/Marco Garcia)

Boise St wide receiver Titus Young points to the crowd after scoring a touchdown against Hawaii during the second quarter at the NCAA college football game, Saturday, Oct 24, 2009 in Honolulu. (AP Photo/Marco Garcia)

Boise St quarterback Kellen Moore throws during the second quarter at the NCAA college football game against Hawaii, Saturday, Oct 24, 2009 in Honolulu. (AP Photo/Marco Garcia)

Hawaii wide receiver Jon Medeiros pulls in a touchdown over Boise St defensive back Cedric Febis during the fourth quarter at the NCAA college football game Saturday, Oct 24, 2009 in Honolulu. (AP Photo/Marco Garcia)

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SEC Notebook: Polls Not Tide's Concern

Jim Henry — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:15:00 EST

Filed under: Alabama, Arkansas, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, LSU, Mississippi, Mississippi State, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vanderbilt, SEC

When it comes to debating rankings, Alabama head coach Nick Saban is a fuddy-duddy.

So there's no need to waste your time, even if the Crimson Tide leapfrogged SEC rival Florida into the top spot of this week's Associated Press poll. Of course, Alabama is also ranked second behind the Gators in the initial installment of the weekly BCS poll that will determine national title invites by early December.

Saban doesn't mean to be a killjoy -- or does he? -- but his game-at-a-time mantra is focused on Saturday's showdown against visiting Tennessee.

"If anybody asks me any questions about where we're ranked or what the poll is, what matters?" Saban asked. "Why does it matter? What's changed from this week to this Monday to last Monday? What's changed? We've got another game. This is the most important game of the year."

OK, agreed.

The Crimson Tide (7-0) is determined to finish October with a flourish. Off next Saturday, Alabama closes out a three-game homestand with a visit from LSU on November 7 before it positions itself for the regular-season's final stretch.

Of course, Alabama could have its hands full with the Vols (3-3) if not careful. But if the Crimson Tide is need of a hero, a shining star has risen from the Crimson Tide's backfield, and his name is Mark Ingram.

The sophomore has rushed for 905 yards and eight touchdowns for 129.29 yards per game average to rank fourth nationally and first in the SEC. Ingram's flashy -- he leads the nation with 30 rushes of 10 or more yards and also has chipped in eight receptions for 10 or more yards. And Ingram's tough -- he has gained 580 yards after first contact.

Best yet, Ingram is coming off his best performance of the season, rushing for 246 yards against South Carolina last week.

"He's a great competitor and a driven guy," Saban said.

"He works hard in practice every week. He plays fast all the time. He has a great competitive spirit and certainly will stay focused on the things that are going to help him continue to satisfy his goals."

Don't look for Alabama to change its goals, or its approach, according to the philosophical Saban.

"I'm very hopeful that we can stay on the positive side of it and be positive about our approach to what we are trying to accomplish and what we're trying to do and not get risk-aversive and start playing to keep from getting beat and a lot of negative motivation about what's going to happen if this happens and all that kind of stuff," Saban said.

"Not to avoid but to gain, is the way we'd like to approach it."

FINALLY, A STRONG FINISH?

South Carolina has been down this road before.

The Gamecocks are 5-2 and positioned nicely to make this coach Steve Spurrier's most successful season at South Carolina. The Gamecocks can continue their surge with a home victory over Vanderbilt on Saturday, a win that would give Spurrier 105 conference wins and tie him with Vince Dooley for third-most in SEC history.

Spurrier isn't one to relax, even if Vanderbilt has lost five straight conference games. Let's not forget the Commodores have beaten the Gamecocks the past two years.

"We're not a real dominant team," Spurrier said. "I think we're a real good team. We can play with almost anybody. We have to play a lot harder. We have to play with courage, effort and smarts."

That approach could help the Gamecocks avoid an unsettling trend of poor finishes. They lost their final three games last season, their final five in 2007 and, for the record, are 10-15 from the midway point of October under Spurrier.

"The pressure is on us to play the best we can every week," Spurrier said.

"We don't get too much in what happened last year or the year before. They outplayed us the last two years. They were better than we were. Give them credit. We'll try to play better this year and coach better, and see if we can come out on top against Vanderbilt."

ROAD TRIP

Save the postcards.

Florida hasn't enjoyed its past visits to Starkville, Miss.

The Gators travel to Mississippi State on Saturday seeking their first win at Davis Wade Stadium since 1985. They have dropped their last four games there, losing to the Bulldogs in 1986, 1992, 2000 and 2004. Second-ranked UF entered three of the games ranked, and two of the games are among the 12 conference defeats that Spurrier suffered as Florida's coach.

The showdown is also a reunion for Mississippi State coach Dan Mullen, a former assistant coach under UF's Urban Meyer since their days at Utah. Mullen last served as the Gators' offensive coordinator, helping quarterback Tim Tebow win the Heisman Trophy and UF a pair of national titles.

"We're coming in, planning to win the football game," Mullen said.

"You never go to play a game that you think you can't win. Our guys are focusing on winning the game this Saturday, and focusing on doing the things you have to do to win the football game. There's nothing quite like winning a football game. It isn't anything crazy we need to do to win, we just have to focus on the game plan at hand in order to come out victorious."

OFFENSIVE OUTBURST

LSU and Auburn tangle in a game where both teams need their offense to set the tone.

LSU, which was off last week, is 5-1 overall and 3-1 in the SEC. The Tigers are one of two SEC West teams -- the other is Alabama -- to control its own destiny in the division race.

They will need solid performances from quarterback Jordan Jefferson and running back Charles Scott. Jefferson has been inconsistent as a passer and Scott is in search of a breakout game. LSU figures to rely heavily on the run because Auburn is allowing 181.4 yards per game, 11th in the SEC and 99th nationally.

Auburn, meanwhile, is coming off its worst offensive performance of the season, managing just 315 yards in its 21-14 loss to Kentucky.

Auburn (5-2, 2-2), which opened the season with five consecutive wins, has scored a combined 37 points in its past two games; it scored at least 37 in each of its first four. The passing attack is struggling, too. Quarterback Chris Todd threw 11 touchdown passes in the first four games but just one in the past three.

"You can't pinpoint our struggles on one thing. I don't believe in that," Auburn coach Gene Chizik said.

"There are a lot of things that can go wrong. I still feel that we can fix some of the mistakes and get back on track. There's a lot of issues in there, and we really feel very strongly that we're going to get that rectified. But it has been off the last two weeks."

SEC Notebook: Polls Not Tide's Concern originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:15:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Starting 11: When a Wedding Causes a Football Separation

Clay Travis — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:00:00 EST

Filed under: Arkansas, Auburn, Florida, Kentucky, Fans, General CFB Insanity

On Saturday, I didn't see a single snap of a single college football game. Not one. This has never happened before in my life. Instead I was an usher at my friend's wedding in Atlanta. This means that this week's ClayNation Starting 11 is going to be a primer on my day in a fall wedding.

The wedding featured a bride who had graduated from Auburn and a groom who had graduated from Kentucky. Are the alarm bells going off yet? The two teams played Saturday night. Seven of the 11 groomsmen and ushers graduated from Kentucky, all of the bridesmaids went to Auburn. The result was a near riot. But that comes in the future. First, the beginning.

9:30AM CT

Departure from Nashville. It's freezing. Seriously, freezing. It has to be the coldest Oct. 17 in the history of Tennessee. Another couple arrives to ride down to the wedding with us, my friend Kelly, and his girlfriend Erin. Kelly is also a groomsman. As we load up for the trip, my wife asks me to clear out the rear of the car so we can put the third seat down and someone can sleep on the way back.

I forget.

As we walk to the car, I realize this fact, and tell the other couple to say they asked me not to put down the third seat or clear out the trunk. We arrive at the car.

My wife immediately notices: "Clay! I told you to put down the third seat."

"They said we didn't need to do it." I nudge the other couple.

They both nod.

My wife narrows her gaze, fiery in my direction. "Did he tell you to say that?" she asks.

Kelly changes the conversation, "How come our tuxes cost $150?" he asks.

Interlude:

Has anyone ever had to pay $150 for a tux before? Here's a comparison. In 1999, oral sex cost $50 in Amsterdam. So a decade ago, you could leave the red light district with a smile on your face for $150. Now I can rent one tux to be an usher at a wedding?

Takeaway: The tuxedo rental business is insane. How are the margins this high for a 24-hour rental? Why isn't there an online tux rental place that FedExes you the tux, does away with the physical store location, and charges like $50?

Basically, why doesn't Amazon rent tuxes?

And if they do have physical stores, why are they such pussbuckets at these places? Do they really need your overarm measurement? Who am I, Tony Siragusa? How many people have ridiculous overarm measurements that change what size jacket they should be wearing?

And why are their hours so bad? The place in Nashville is only open from 10-5 every day.

10-5!

The bank is more convenient. I don't really have any reason to complain about this since I work from home, but my friend Kelly has to take off work to get measured for his tux.

Meanwhile, I tried to submit my measurements online. I'm a normal-sized guy. Give me a 34 waist, a 42 regular jacket, and I'm ready to go. Yet the measurements won't submit until I give an overarm measurement?

I entered seven feet. Or seven inches. I'm not really sure how that form worked.

10:15

I'm pulled over for speeding, going 90 in a 70. Bad news, it's a Tennessee state trooper. Worse news, my tags and registration are expired. Also, I don't have my insurance card in the car. Basically, all I have is my driver's license.

My wife fumes in the back seat. "I hope they don't arrest you," she says.

"If you did get arrested," Kelly says, "that would be pretty funny."

I attempt to make friends with the state trooper, a man with a shaved head, one working eye, and a slight stutter. My tax dollars at work.

"We're on our way ..."

He cuts me off. "Sign this, please."

In my entire life, I've only gotten away with speeding once after being pulled over. Why then? Because I had a Virgin Islands license plate on the car and the cop had no idea how to write me a ticket. I considered keeping the Virgin Islands plate for the next decade. The only time I ever wish I was a woman is every time I get pulled over for speeding.

Also, if a war happens.

Anyway, and I'm not making this up, the speeding ticket and other two violations add up to $784.48.

How is this not cruel and unusual punishment? People pay lower fines for murder.

Truly.

10:30

My wife has spent the past 15 minutes ridiculing my driving. She has been in two car accidents in the past year. But if I mention them, she gets very angry.

In one of them she totaled a car, in another "accident" she lightly bumped a car in front of her at a stop sign. There was not a scratch on their bumper, yet the entire family went to the hospital on a stretcher.

11:00

We stop for lunch. The best part of my day? The Mushroom Swiss Angus burger at McDonald's, number 14 on the value meal. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's the greatest sandwich in the history of fast food. It's like sex meets McDonald's ... aka Louisville basketball.

11:45

We plug in the GPS to check our time situation. After 10 minutes my wife says, "Uh oh." We're scheduled to arrive at 2:55.

The bus taking us to pictures departs the hotel at 3:00.

Now, we have to arrive, get changed into our tuxes, and depart in five minutes.

1:05 PM

Twenty minutes later, the time changes. We're now on the East Coast.

I hate the timezone change.

Firmly.

For my entire life as an adult, I'm only ever driving from the central time zone to the eastern time zone. I'm always losing an hour. And don't give me that crap about gaining it when you come back. I never need to rush back to something in the central time zone.

Nashville is fairly close to the time line. It gets dark early in winter, the sun goes down earlier in summer, basically the only thing worth gaining in the central time zone is an hour earlier late-night television. And now that I have a kid I'm too tired to stay up for that anyway. Plus, thanks to dawn arriving in Nashville at 4:55 every morning, he gets up as soon as the sun rises.

So, as you can see, even time is lined up against me.

1:15 PM

My iPhone is losing battery life, which means I may not have any ability to keep tabs on the scores. Two issues with the iPhone. A.) The battery life is shorter than a Wizard of Oz munchkin and B.) You can't read anything when you use the Internet browser. How do you zoom on Web pages if you don't have the app downloaded?

Yeah, it's great that there are 85,000 apps, but if you could just read a Web page by using the Internet browser you would need like 18 apps.

For instance, the only app I have that is designed to do anything other than read a Web page is paper football.

How is this not noted as a flaw?

1:15-2:50 now ET

My wife says, "Stop driving so fast." Repeatedly.

2:51

We exit near the hotel. The road to our hotel is only there because the Perimeter Mall is also there. The entire road, and this is the complete truth, is just a loop around the mall.

This is my issue with Atlanta, the entire city's road system seems to exist so you can reach a shopping center that didn't exist before.

We stop at eight consecutive lights, all bordering the mall. With this rate of speed, now I know what the immigrants felt like crossing the Atlantic.

2:57

Arrival at the hotel. I leave the car running and go digging through my bag for black socks. Unfortunately, I mistakenly brought blue socks.

With tiny penguins etched on them.

2:58

Kelly beats me to the hotel desk and gets his key first. Our tuxes are waiting in our rooms.

3:01

The desk clerk takes her time checking me in. I learn that the hotel has a free breakfast, something about Wi-Fi, and am tempted to strangle the clerk with my penguin socks.

Here's the only thing I've ever wanted other than a hotel room: a toothbrush in my hotel room. If you don't have toothbrushes, I couldn't care less about the other accoutrements.

In fact, a promise, the next hotel chain that starts providing disposable toothbrushes and toothpaste, I will stay in for the rest of my life.

3:06

I'm dressed in my tuxedo and nonchalantly waiting in the lobby as if I've been here all morning. Several other groomsmen arrive to inform me that Oklahoma and Texas, while poorly played, is currently tied at 13.

3:10

We all climb into the shuttle en route to the church. Beers are opened.

The groom says there is a television in the church but it doesn't work. "It's only for videos."

Videos of what?

3:15

The groom says there will be no televisions at the reception because the bride believes they would be a "distraction."

The Kentucky grads all groan.

Question: If millions of people choose to do something, i.e. attend or watch a football game, and 125 do something else, say, attend a wedding, doesn't that make the wedding the distraction?

3:31

Drinking inside the church is forbidden. So everyone stands on the curb outside and drinks. Kerry wins the BlackBerry, iPhone shuffle and becomes the first to report that Texas has beaten Oklahoma.

3:55

Florida and Arkansas are scoreless midway through the first quarter. We're seated in a large room with two televisions. A groomsman begins to work on obtaining a signal from the television.

"Who has a flat screen," he asks, "only to watch videos?"

4:05

We confirm the church has a flat screen only to watch videos. Arkansas leads 7-0 on Florida.

4:15

Picture time!

We take eight photographs. In one of them the groom is walking 10 feet ahead of us and we're supposed to chase him. It's only the second most homoerotic shot.

In the most homoerotic shot, the groom stands in front and everyone gets in a straight line behind him and raises their arms in different directions. "I promise it looks really cool," the photographer says.

Kelly shakes his head, "I don't know about you," he says, "but I'm opting out of the teabag shot."

4:25

Most of the groomsmen relocate to the parked bus and, in a silent effort to reclaim their manliness, begin drinking beers heavily.

There is also a flat-screen television on the bus.

But, you guessed it ... no satellite signal.

It's for videos or DVDs as well.

4:59

Outside the groom's room hangs a picture of Jesus that appears to focus on His nipple. I stand looking at the painting for a few seconds.

Another man passes, "You don't really think about Jesus' nipples that much until you see a picture like that," he says.

5:30

Florida leads Arkansas 13-10. Southern Cal is up two scores on Notre Dame. Virginia Tech is down to Georgia Tech.

My iPhone battery hangs perilously on the living side of electronic life, bars vanishing at a rapid rate.

5:35

" 'Can you keep up with the game during the service? ... Here's what you do, if Arkansas scores, give me a thumbs up, if Florida scores, flick me off.' Welcome to a Southern wedding."
We line up to begin ushering guests into the church. Things begin ominously, I take a woman's arm and her mentally handicapped daughter throws a screaming fit.

She pats me on the arm. "It's okay," she says.

As I walk down the aisle, I'm expecting to be tackled from behind. My mind is racing. What's protocol? I have to take the beating without resisting, right?

If I bleed do I owe more money for the tuxedo rental?

5:51

A grown man who shall remain nameless, but who does not have a BlackBerry or an iPhone pulls me aside when he sees me checking scores. "I hate Florida" he says.

I nod.

"Can you keep up with the game during the service?"

I nod again.

"Here's what you do, if Arkansas scores, give me a thumbs up, if Florida scores, flick me off."

Welcome to a Southern wedding ladies and gentlemen.

5:55

We take our seats in the pews. I silence my phone and set it on auto-refresh.

6:02

The bride is lovely.

6:04

Hot damn, Arkansas kicks a field goal to tie the score at 13. The priest has just told a five-minute story that involves a three-word punchline, "Aisle, change, hymn."

"I'll change him," get it!

Are you rolling yet? Priest humor is gold.

Seriously though, how are these homilies so bad at weddings? Think about this, if you did a 20-minute wedding forty times a year, couldn't you have a killer homily? I mean a story that either made people stand up and rend their garments from the emotional power or one that made people roll into the pew floor laughing?

Maybe even both?

I mean, you have enough practice to know what works, right?

Yet why are they all so bad?

6:25

My phone vibrates with a text message. It says only one word, "Petrino."

Moments later the score updates on my phone, Arkansas has scored on a 75-yard touchdown pass on third-and-17. It's 20-13 Hogs.

The wedding ends, the gentleman passes me in the aisle. I give him a thumbs up. He raises his eyebrows and smiles appreciatively.

6:45

Time for the after-wedding photos. The groomsmen and ushers gather in three rows of pews. All of us are madly hitting refresh on the Arkansas-Florida game.

Everyone is rooting for Arkansas.

Play by play spools out from different locations as people get updates at different rates of gametracker speed depending on a variety of factors. Everyone tries to be the first to update the latest play, it's like competitive sports reporting; we're all John Clayton.

My iPhone is running updates slower than everyone else so I take a chance on Twitter.

Paydirt.

I break the news that Arkansas misses a 38-yard field goal before anyone else. I feel like Cronkite delivering the news that Kennedy had died. "He missed it," I slowly intone.

"No!" scream eight voices in unison.

Predictably, after the miss, Florida goes down and scores. As each play is announced to the group, our faces become more dejected.

Our actual conversation after he made the field goal is unprintable on an upstanding-ish site like this, but it involved Jesus, Urban Meyer and a sex act that, impressively enough, has its own Wikipedia page.

7:45

The photos are finished. The groomsmen and ushers have been used for 15 minutes of photographs. We've been here for four hours.

In terms of efficiency, I feel like I'm in the law firm again.

Only then I would have billed for 8.6 hours.

We enter the bus and begin to drink heavily. The Kentucky fans all pull out their phones as kickoff nears. But, wait, the bridal party advances onto the bus singing:

War Eagle, fly down the field
Ever to conquer, never to yield
War Eagle, fearless and true,
Fight on you orange and blue
Go! Go! Go!
On to vict'ry, strike up the band
Hit 'em high, hit 'em low,
Stand up and yell, Hey!
War Eagle, win for Auburn,
Power of Dixie Land!

"I did not f'ing sign up for this," says a UK grad sitting across from me.

"I'm going to throw up," says another. "I hope we beat them by 50."

"I hope Gene Chizik dies," says yet another.

8:03

We arrive at the reception.

Kentucky is lining up for a field goal as we prepare to enter the event. Kentucky fans are madly hitting refresh.

At this point, I get distracted focusing on the Bourbon drinks. But no one says anything for a long time. Finally, I ask my friend Tardio what happened.

"Auburn blocked the kick and returned it for a touchdown," he says.

Kentucky football in a sentence.

8:15

We begin to drink inside the reception.

Heavily.

At some point, I learn that it's 14-7 Auburn at the half. "Should be 10-7 Kentucky," says Tardio.

9:20

I can't find four of the groomsmen.

Then my phone buzzes, "At Mellow Mushroom watching game. Come over."

They've walked across the parking lot to a restaurant. I contemplate leaving, but then get distracted by more drinks and Young MC's 1989 opus Bust a Move coming on.

Kelly's girlfriend, Erin, is six years younger than us. She stands watching us as we dance. "You don't know Bust a Move?" I ask.

"No," she says. "I was 4 in 1989."

1989 was Ken Griffey's rookie year, the magical No. 1 card in the Upper Deck set. There are people who can drink and don't remember this?

Time grows fuzzy.

At the finale of the song, Kelly suggests I attempt the splits.

So I do.

After this I forget about my intent to leave and watch the game.

10:15

The groom takes the mic. "I love you honey, but time for a score update. The Cats have a first-and-goal with under five minutes to play and the score tied 14-14."

Half the crowd erupts. The other half hisses.

Moments later comes the cheering. Kentucky has taken the lead 21-14. There is less than two minutes remaining from the Cats' first victory over Auburn since 1966.

10:45

Several groomsmen return from across the street and begin running around the reception hall doling out high fives like they have just won the Super Bowl. I know, it's happened, Kentucky has won at Auburn.

"Our best road win in decades," exults one Cat fan.

The groom takes the mic and leads the crowd in a cheer. "C-A-T-S, CATS, CATS, CATS," he screams.

Then he gives his bride a kiss.

My wife takes my arm amid the bedlam, "I'm so proud of you for not leaving to watch the games," she says.

I give her a kiss. "Weddings are so much more important than football," I say.

Starting 11: When a Wedding Causes a Football Separation originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Arkansas Fans Furious About Officiating In Loss to Florida

Michael David Smith — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:59:00 EST

Filed under: Arkansas, Florida, SEC, Video

Arkansas fans are taking to Twitter, message boards and blogs to vent their frustrations about the officiating in Saturday's loss to No. 1 Florida. They're also posting their evidence on YouTube -- and proving that they have every reason to be upset.

Two bad calls in particular, both on Florida's game-tying fourth-quarter drive, have caused the Razorback rage. The first, which you see above, was a personal foul called against Razorbacks defensive tackle Malcolm Sheppard for knocking Florida's Marcus Gilbert to the ground at the end of a play. The call is clearly ridiculous: It was Gilbert who tried to level Sheppard with a late hit, and all Sheppard did was lower his shoulder to absorb the hit. Just because Gilbert fell down and Sheppard didn't doesn't mean Sheppard was in the wrong.

The other call on that game-tying Florida drive, which you see above, was a pass interference penalty. The pass interference call doesn't inspire quite as much outrage as the personal foul -- mostly because pass interference is called so inconsistently that football fans have grown accustomed to bad calls -- but it was still a major gift from the officials to the Gators.

Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel calls them "two of the worst calls I've seen in quite some time" and notes that the calls were made by the same SEC officiating crew that was heavily criticized for an excessive celebration call that helped LSU beat Georgia two weeks ago. And that doesn't even include this non-call on what should have been offensive pass interference against Florida, on Florida's game-winning drive later in the fourth quarter:

We all know that officials are human beings who sometimes make mistakes, and we'll never have perfect officiating. But it sticks in the craws of Arkansas fans that they had three officiating errors go against them at the worst possible time on Saturday. The SEC has some explaining to do.

UPDATE: The SEC has admitted that the personal foul call was incorrect. The pass interference calls, the SEC says, were judgment calls at the discretion of the referee. For more updates, follow me on Twitter @MichaelDavSmith.

Arkansas Fans Furious About Officiating In Loss to Florida originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:59:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Florida, Alabama Atop BCS Rankings

Michael David Smith — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:07:00 EST

Filed under: Alabama, Boise State, Cincinnati, Florida, Texas

The first BCS standings of the college football season are out, and as everyone expected, they're topped by SEC rivals Florida and Alabama, with Texas coming in third. But there were some surprises after that.

Boise State is the No. 4 team, meaning the Broncos haven't been hurt -- so far -- by their soft schedule. That's the highest opening position for a team from outside the six BCS conferences, and it gives the Broncos a sliver of hope that they could end up in the national championship game.

And in the big surprise of Week 8 of the college football season, Cincinnati is the No. 5 team in the BCS, with Iowa at No. 6 and USC all the way down at No. 7.

The big takeaway from all of this is that even if USC runs the table in the Pac-10, they're going to need a lot of help to get into the BCS title game. USC probably cost itself a shot at the national championship when it lost to Washington a month ago.

What do you think of the BCS standings? Tell me on Twitter @MichaelDavSmith.

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TUSCALOOSA - OCTOBER 17: Running back Mark Ingram #22 of the Alabama Crimson Tide ran for 246 yards and a touchdown during the game against the South Carolina Gamecocks at Bryant-Denny Stadium on October 17, 2009 in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. The Crimson Tide beat the Gamecocks 20-6. (Photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Mark Ingram

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In this undated photo provided by the University of Connecticut, Jasper Howard is seen. Howard, 20, of Miami, and another student were stabbed during a fight after a fire alarm was pulled during a university sponsored dance at the UConn Student Union just after 12:30 a.m., police said. (AP Photo/University of Connecticut) **NO SALES**

Connecticut football head coach Randy Edsall speaks during a news conference about the stabbing death of playerJasper Howard in Storrs, Conn., Sunday, Oct. 18, 2009. Twenty-year-old Howard, of Miami, a junior and starting cornerback, and a second person were stabbed during a fight early Sunday after someone pulled a fire alarm during a dance at the UConn Student Union, police said. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

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Connecticut football head coach Randy Edsall, left, speaks at a news conference about the stabbing death of player Jasper Howard as university president Michael J. Hogan, second from left, Major Ron Blichter of UConn Police, center, UConn athletic director Jeff Hathaway, second from right, and player Desi Cullen, right, listen in Storrs, Conn., Sunday, Oct. 18, 2009. Twenty-year-old Howard, of Miami, a junior and starting cornerback, and a second person were stabbed during a fight early Sunday after someone pulled a fire alarm during a dance at the UConn Student Union, police said. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

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Connecticut football head coach Randy Edsall, left, comforts senior captain Desi Cullen, right, during a news conference about the stabbing death of teammate Jasper Howard in Storrs, Conn., Sunday, Oct. 18, 2009. Twenty-year-old Howard, of Miami, a junior and starting cornerback, and a second person were stabbed during a fight early Sunday after someone pulled a fire alarm during a dance at the UConn Student Union, police said. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

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A student walks by yellow tape marking the crime scene where University of Connecticut football player Jasper Howard was stabbed and killed early Sunday morning, in Storrs, Conn., Sunday, Oct. 18, 2009. Twenty-year-old Howard, of Miami, a junior and starting cornerback, and a second person were stabbed during a fight early Sunday after someone pulled a fire alarm during a dance at the UConn Student Union, police said. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

Connecticut football head coach Randy Edsall, left, comforts senior captain Desi Cullen, right, during a news conference about the stabbing death of teammate Jasper Howard in Storrs, Conn., Sunday, Oct. 18, 2009. Howard, 20, of Miami, a junior and starting cornerback, and a second person were stabbed during a fight early Sunday after someone pulled a fire alarm during a dance at the UConn Student Union, police said. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

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Police vehicles are parked at the crime scene where University of Connecticut football player Jasper Howard was stabbed and killed early Sunday morning, in Storrs, Conn., Sunday, Oct. 18, 2009. Twenty-year-old Howard, of Miami, a junior and starting cornerback, and a second person were stabbed during a fight early Sunday after someone pulled a fire alarm during a dance at the UConn Student Union, police said. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

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Connecticut football head coach Randy Edsall, left, comforts senior captain Desi Cullen, right, during a news conference about the stabbing death of teammate Jasper Howard in Storrs, Conn., Sunday, Oct. 18, 2009. Howard, 20, of Miami, a junior and starting cornerback, and a second person were stabbed during a fight early Sunday after someone pulled a fire alarm during a dance at the UConn Student Union, police said. (AP Photo/Jessica Hill)

Nebraska quarterback Zac Lee (5) is tackled by Texas Tech's Bront Bird, in the second half of their NCAA college football game in Lincoln, Neb., Saturday, Oct. 17, 2009. Texas Tech beat Nebraska 31-10.(AP Photo/Dave Weaver)

Texas Tech's Brandon Sharpe (92) swats down a throw by Nebraska quarterback Zac Lee (5), as Nebraska's Ricky Henry (74) and Marcel Jones (78) block Texas Tech's Colby Whitlock (93), in the first half of their NCAA college football game in Lincoln, Neb., Saturday, Oct. 17, 2009.(AP Photo/Nati Harnik)

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Florida, Alabama Atop BCS Rankings originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:07:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Sense of Urgency Surrounds Gators

Jim Henry — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 14:18:00 EST

Filed under: Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, SEC

GAINESVILLE, Fla. -- A majority of callers that flooded local radio sports talk shows late Saturday night were not thrilled with their top-ranked Florida Gators. Most complaints focused on the offense. Agitated fans moaned about turnovers, predictable play-calling and porous blocking along the line.

UF had escaped with its life hours earlier over Arkansas, 23-20, but it was obvious not everyone was impressed with the Gators. Include head coach Urban Meyer and Associated Press voters in that mix, too.

Not even a restless night's sleep made it any better for Meyer, who admitted his team -- the defending BCS champion and winners of a nation-best 16 straight -- needs to get its act together. AP voters also noted UF's struggles, dropping the Gators behind Alabama in Sunday's poll.

"We kind of operate around here with urgency, and that's not something we're ashamed of," Meyer said Sunday morning during his teleconference.

"We can sit back and say we are the No. 1 scoring offense, the No. 1 rushing offense, No. 1 scoring defense, total offense ... all these categories but you still don't feel we are operating at the highest level of efficiency.

"No. 1, that's turnovers. That's the first indication. We are going to practice at a very high rate of urgency this week, and No. 2 was you found a way to win a game when you probably shouldn't have. That tells you the team really stuck together and made plays when it had to."

UF's goal of repeating as national champion nearly turned into Pig Sooey before a homecoming crowd of 90,508 at The Swamp. The Gators needed Caleb Sturgis' 27-yard field goal with nine seconds to play to survive the 25-point underdog Razorbacks. UF quarterback Tim Tebow was sacked six times, the Gators lost four fumbles and, worse yet, they went 1-for-4 in the red zone in the first half.

"It was probably the worst first half we've ever played," Meyer said.

The second half was better, but not by much. Sure, the Gators were able to overcome a 20-13 deficit early in the fourth quarter. But UF fans -- Meyer, too -- were upset by unsettling trends six games into the season.

Despite their gaudy numbers -- UF is averaging 36.3 points per game and 470.5 total yards per game -- the Gators are a minus-2 in turnover margin and have scored just 15 touchdowns in 30 trips in the red zone (inside an opponent's 20-yard line).

"Our concerns right now are our red-zone production and turnovers, which in the plan to win those are really two things we really work at," Meyer said. "Obviously, how do you fix that? You have to work at it even harder."

The Gators may have their work cut out for them this week on the road against former UF offensive coordinator Dan Mullen, now the head coach at Mississippi State. The Bulldogs (3-4) snapped a three-game losing streak with Saturday's 27-6 over Middle Tennessee.

Mullen, of course, had been alongside Meyer dating back to their undefeated season at Utah in 2004. Meyer wants his good friend to succeed -- "One thing about Dan is he's very smart. He's not going to make emotional decisions, he's very smart and I think he'll do fine," Meyer said when asked about Mullen's decision to pursue Mississippi State's head coaching vacancy -- but he has pressing issues of his own.

UF had been in the top spot of the AP poll since the preseason, but the Crimson Tide has been gaining ground for weeks by winning more convincingly than the Gators.

Alabama, which waxed Arkansas earlier in the season, beat No. 22 South Carolina Saturday night. The Crimson Tide overcame four turnovers -- doubling their season total -- and 10 penalties.

Meyer can relate, stressing that UF turnovers must be corrected.

"Guys are not going to touch the ball that we don't have confidence in," Meyer said.

"We are not in some charity program where, hey, let's try to get this guy the ball. If you are not tight with the ball, you are not going to touch it. Guys make mistakes. We are going to point it out on film, coach it and eventually if it doesn't improve those guys don't touch the ball.

"I have great confidence those guys will."

Sense of Urgency Surrounds Gators originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Sun, 18 Oct 2009 14:18:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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