NCAA Football The Word

Anyone who's lived on a college campus in the past ten years knows that Jimmy Johns delivers. If we are talking about the delicious sandwich purveyor, the delivery is... well... delicious sandwiches. If we are talking about the Alabama running back/linebacker, however, the delivery is delicious narcotics:

Investigators with the West Alabama Narcotics Task Force picked up Johns Tuesday morning around 8 a.m. Sources tell FOX6 News Johns has been under investigation for a couple of weeks.

Tuscaloosa Police Chief Ken Swindle says Johns is charged with 5 counts of distribution of powder cocaine, and 1 count of possession.

And that's goodbye to one awesomely-named but unfortunately crappy and felonious (allegedly) football player. Alabama is now one scholarship closer to cramming its enormous 32-player recruiting class on campus. Just two more to go!

(Via Bama Sports Report.)

Previously On Fanhouse:
Nick Saban's the Real Snake Oil Salesman Around These Parts
Snake Oil on the Recruiting Trail
Saban Made Him Do It: 'Bama DE Arrested

When Michigan embarked on an ambitious renovation of Michigan Stadium this winter it exposed itself to ADA regulations that didn't apply to the 1927 edfice. One Paralyzed Veterans of America lawsuit later, Michigan had a mandate to build over 200 wheelchair-accessible seats over the next four years.

Eighty-four of those go in next year, and only 14 have been sold. They're in areas of the stadium that require PSLs -- which means they're good seats -- but the University has waived the PSLs on them for the next three years. Michigan Stadium has a season ticket waiting list longer than Notre Dame's bowl drought (zing!), and that goes double for actual schmancy PSL seats.

And the kicker:

"We're going to be getting the word out to work with the disabled community," Bodnar said. "There are different groups we can contact. Under the consent decree (in the settlement), they are only available for individuals in wheelchairs."

Keep this in mind if you see a headline like "UNEXPLAINED RASH OF AMPUTATIONS ACROSS MICHIGAN" sometime in the next couple months.

Let's cut right to the chase:



What is this? A creepy porn shoot released into the wild by embittered Michigan fans? An American Gladiators tryout? An America's Next Top Model photo shoot?

Oh, you know the answer's coming after the jump.

Not a good start as the supposedly cleaned-up coach rebuilds UCLA. From the Daily News' Brian Dohn:

UCLA's football practice is over, long before it was supposed as the players decided to use a long-time tradition and blow off practice after stretching by going over the wall. That said, the players ran through an open gate rather than climb over the wall at Spaulding Field.

UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel knows of the tradition, but basically said it was an odd time for it considering UCLA is installing a new offense and the offensive line needs loads of work.

Also, a number of high school coaches and recruits showed up for the practice, not to mention some referees. The assistant coaches were mostly stunned after Neuheisel visited with the players, then came back on the field to say practice was done.

In one swift act, Neuheisel willingly undermined himself before his players, his coaches and the lifeblood of any program: recruits. Nice work.

Oh, and that's just about the most pathetic school tradition I've ever heard of. The NCAA limits the hours and number of practices schools can arrange, so for UCLA to be wasting a practice like that is troubling.

(Via: WildWest)

The video below is a 10-minute, profane (NSFW) interview with *former* UNLV quarterback Rocky Hinds. Hinds started at UNLV for a few games before a serious knee injury forced him to miss a season's worth of football. When he came back, it appears he was no longer invited to be part of the team. This news was delayed enough to make him ineligible to transfer to another school and be eligible to play right away.

This stuff actually happens a fair amount, particularly at places flying under the radar like UNLV. His coach will obviously tell a different and perhaps accurate story in this he said/she said affair, so by no means is this video the official and final word on the Rocky Hinds/Mike Sanford/UNLV breakup.

(Via: WildWest)

From inside the pages of the venerable Pro Football Weekly 2008 Draft Guide:

49ers head coach Mike Nolan told PFW to watch out for this kid. We did. He stinks. Hall was virtually non-existent all week, hardly making a peep. He supposedly was nursing an injury, but it didn't stop him from playing in the [Senior Bowl].

Ouch.

Rarely do you see respected publications straight up say a player stinks. Bonus points for throwing a coach under the bus. Rough day at the office, perhaps?

Take my stuff again. I dare you. Damn kids.

Think about what you'd do for $20. Probably some pretty weird stuff, depending on your upbringing. Maybe you'd eat something weird, drunk dial an ex, wet your own pants, whatever. Sort of ABC Family-type scandalous.

Okay, now consider what that $20 looks like to a college student. Now we're getting into good, R-rated stuff, like streaking or bottle rockets fired from the most sunless of body parts. Rare, though, is the man who would commit a robbery. Even rarer is the man who would do so in plain view of a police officer. Within reach of an officer? Unheard of!

But Murray State quarterback Jeff Ehrhardt is special, you see--so special, in fact, he shoved a police officer and stole his ticket book. Again, for 20 dollars.

The Murray State athletic director is trying to spin the second-degree robbery as a "prank gone bad," but we disagree. We see it as a prank not gone far enough. After all, since $20 shoves a cop, what's up with $50? That's a joyride in the cruiser, right? And what about $100? There's gotta be some shots getting fired at that point. In other words, we're only a few Andy Jacksons away from the type of orgasmic carnage that made Grand Theft Auto the highest-selling video game franchise of all time*.

Sure, we'd be putting the Ohio Valley Conference Freshman of the Year behind bars for the rest of his natural life, but come on, nobody cares. Nobody can name last year's OVCFOTY, or any other year's. But the world--nay, history--will certainly revere the young man who, for just under three C-Notes, stole a tank from the local armory and used it to shoot at Fort Knox. Enough of the "prank[s] gone bad." It's time for a prank gone awesome.


*Not even close, technically.

His career line is fairly pedestrian so far, but when your team's getting championship talk and you play in the SEC, your fans inevitably end up doing oddball things.

The motif: Shaft. As seen at DawgSports - can you dig it?

Who's the white quarterback
Who's a pass machine for the Red and Black?
Staff!
You're damn right!

Who's the man who can beat the Gators
Then hoist a keg at Talladega?
Staff!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat who won't hand off
When he can put Michael Moore in the running for the Biletnikoff?
Staff!
Right on!

They say this cat Staff is a bad quarter---
Shut your mouth!
I'm talking 'bout Staff.
Then we can dig it!

He's a complicated man to all the haters,
But no one understands him but his coordinator.
Matthew Stafford!

We'll never forget Mike Gundy's famous rant in which he informed the world that "he's a man and 40." Now, the player he was defending is suggesting that Gundy is actually just a man and a phony. That's right, former Oklahoma State quarterback Bobby Reid and his mother recently accused Gundy of putting on an act on that fateful day.

"Reid was caught off guard. Here was a coach who'd been burying him and now he was going to war for him? It didn't add up. "At first, everything [Gundy] was saying sounded real and true," Rajika says. "But I'm a believer where there is smoke, there's fire."

In other words, Bobby and Rajika Reid felt info in Carlson's column came indirectly from Gundy or his staff. ("I'd have a hard time agreeing with that," Gundy says.)

In other words, they felt Gundy's rant was fake.

"Honestly, the way I took it, I felt like it was all a front," Reid says. "That it was all a big show. It didn't feel genuine."

First Gary Pinkel was scheduled to throw out the first pitch for the Cardinals on Opening Day. Then Chase Daniel and Jeremy Maclin had to take his place. Now another of the Big 12's coaching brethren has gotten his shot on the mound for a ceremonial first pitch. Kansas coach Mark Mangino got the call on Tuesday at the Kansas City Royals home opener at Kauffman Stadium. In addition, Gary Pinkel was actually involved in this ceremony as well, albeit only by way of the stadium's video board (that guy really needs to relax his off-season schedule).

"I'm honored that the Royals would even consider me for Opening Day," Mangino said. "When I was a kid I waited for Opening Day like you waited for Christmas."

Challenged by Missouri coach Gary Pinkel, who in a video presentation expressed his confidence that "coach Mangino will start the season successfully with a strike down the middle," Mangino met the challenge with a pitch down the pipe.

"It might have been a high strike to Frank Thomas," Mangino said. "Gary wanted one down the middle, but he's got to understand: A pitcher has to work the corners."

It sounds like Mangino's attempt fared better than that of Chase Daniel, who bounced his effort to the backstop. It's also good to see Mangino has a little baseball knowledge, although the Frank Thomas reference might have been a tad dated.

Update: Now with video-goodness. Thanks YouTube!

via The Wizard of Odds