NCAA Football FanHouse

Young Whippersnapper Joe Paterno Will Turn Around PSU Any Day Now

Brian Cook — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 20:54:00 EST

Penn State just got a commitment from an unranked wide receiver who plays running back for his high school team. PSU fans are naturally a little wary, especially given their struggles recruiting skill position talent of late, and this didn't help:

"I liked the coaches, and I think it's an up-and coming program," he said, adding that "I really do believe better days for Penn State are coming."

...and we've all mentally inserted "when JoePa finally retires," haven't we? Kuntz also had this beauty:

"My dad and I searched the internet looking at UConn and Penn State's rosters and where they are in terms of depth at wide receiver. Penn State doesn't look like they have much (coming back) and me coming in as a freshman that's going to be a huge advantage for me to hopefully play four years for them."

When you're considering UConn and Penn State and you pick Penn State for playing time, the Pennsylvania apocalypse is nigh. It was nice knowing you, Pennsylvania. Except Philadelphia.

Also, yes: hur hur hur he's got a funny last name. Have we mentioned Michigan picked up a commitment from Shavodrick Beaver? If this was Idiocracy, we would all be laughing so hard we would die.

Young Whippersnapper Joe Paterno Will Turn Around PSU Any Day Now originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 08 Jul 2008 20:54:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Weird Moments in Big Ten History #5: Iowa and Penn State Mean No Offense, 2004

Mark Hasty — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 13:43:00 EST

Filed under: Iowa Football, Penn State Football, Big 10, NCAA FB History

FanHouse is counting down the ten best, ten worst, and ten weirdest moments in Big Ten football history.

There's probably no more unlikely final point total for a football team than four. There's only one way to achieve that score, and that's with two safeties. The only less likely total is one, the winner's score in any forfeited game.

In October 2004 two teams with killer defenses and iffy offenses met in Happy Valley. The Iowa Hawkeyes were having a pretty good season; the Nittany Lions weren't. A botched snap on the first possession of the game led to a PSU safety, giving them their first lead in a Big Ten game all season. Iowa, behind QB Drew Tate, couldn't find the end zone all day; if not for two Kyle Schlicher field goals, they'd have gone scoreless. But Penn State couldn't even accomplish that much on offense. Quarterbacks Zack Mills and Michael Robinson combined for 96 yards and four interceptions, including a game-icing pick late in the fourth quarter. Nit rushers contributed an additional 66 yards, for a game total of 162 yards of offense. Iowa's numbers weren't much better.

For fans like me who love to watch great defense the game was a treat. But late in the game came one of the harshest on-the-field disses one coach has ever laid on another.

It happened late in the fourth quarter, when Penn State again had Iowa pinned so deep in its own territory that the Hawks were forced to punt out of the end zone. Kirk Ferentz elected to take a safety instead, making the score 6-4.

It's not unusual for a team to take an intentional safety if (a) they have a large lead, or (b) there isn't enough time for the other team to take the lead. You'll note that the intentional safety put Penn State a field goal away from winning the game. In effect, Ferentz was daring Joe Paterno to get within field goal range.

Penn State had twice been within the Iowa 10, but both times they gacked. First Robbie Gould missed a chip-shot field goal, then Antwan Allen picked off Michael Robinson at the 1. It seemed likely that a Penn State offense which hadn't done anything all day wouldn't do anything now, but the risk was huge.

Ferentz's gamble paid off. On Penn State's first play of the next series, Jovon Johnson intercepted Robinson and the game was over. The talk all over college football was about the unusual score ("Who was pitching?") but the real story of the game was found in the last few minutes. This game only looked boring from the outside.

Weird Moments in Big Ten History #5: Iowa and Penn State Mean No Offense, 2004 originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 08 Jul 2008 13:43:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The Reggie Bush Scandal Is Clearly Not Affecting USC's Recruiting Efforts

Brian Grummell — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:03:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, USC Football, NCAA FB Recruiting, Heisman, NCAA FB Scandal

For over two years now, a cloud has hung over USC's head through the stalemate of the NCAA's investigation into allegations that former star tailback and Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush accepted cash and gifts against NCAA rules. Obviously some sort of punishment against USC would be leveled if the NCAA found truth in the allegations.

Future unrest is usually trouble on the recruiting trail, just ask Penn State how much it has to answer to endless talk of Joe Paterno's retirement or dismissal. In spite of that, and of little surprise given Pete Carroll's ability to pitch, USC keeps smoking along on the recruiting trail.

They added Rivals.com's top player, quarterback Matt Barkley, this spring. Since then they've assembled a class of 15 players solid enough to rank second on Rivals.com's initial recruiting rankings and just behind Ohio State which already had 20+ commitments. If form holds it's another top five, maybe even No. 1 class.

Everyone knows USC is going to take some kind of hit from the NCAA, but the way high profile recruits keep arriving sends the message they're not worried about those pending sanctions.

The Reggie Bush Scandal Is Clearly Not Affecting USC's Recruiting Efforts originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:03:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Penn State Recruits Being Told JoePa's Successor to Be Internal

Brian Cook — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 17:22:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10

It seems every paper in Pennsylvania has a reporter dedicated to scouring the seven seas for information about Joe Paterno's pending retirement: is it pending? Like... how pending? Are we talking "imminent" or "his dessicated bones will still lord over us when it's Planet of the Apes time?" And who will they hire? Schiano? Al Golden? Bender?

No one knows. Except maybe these guys:

Players recruited by the Nittany Lions are being assured that when Paterno retires, his replacement will come from the current coaching staff rather than an outside hire.

''Mr. Paterno told me himself that his replacement is already within the staff, so he'll just bring one new guy in and bump everybody up in the ranks,'' linebacker Mike Yancich from Washington, Pa., said.

Any reasonable observer must therefore conclude that the job will go to defensive coordinator Tom Bradley, and outpost of competence amongst-

What about me?

Find out after the jump.

You're a terrible coach and the only reason you're not homless is-

STOP SEDUCING TO MY SON, JEZEBEL

I promise you I'm not a woman, and even if I was I'd-

MALARKEY. YOU'RE AS MUCH OF A HARLOT AS ELANOR ROOSEVELT

I have a beard! And-

SO DID ABIGAIL ADAMS, AND DID THAT STOP ME FROM RAVISHING HER WHEN JOHN WAS AWAY FIGHTING COSSACKS DURING THE FALKLANDS WAR?

Can I finish a sent-

Can I be coach?

Previously On Fanhouse:
The JoePa Chronicles: A Father, Son, and Politics Turn Sour
Jay Paterno Hearts Barack Obama on Company Time
The JoePa Chronicles: ESPN to Drop Hammer on Penn State
Schiano to Penn State Rumors as Unkillable as JoePa Himself

Penn State Recruits Being Told JoePa's Successor to Be Internal originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 30 Jun 2008 17:22:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The JoePa Chronicles: A Father, Son, and Politics Turn Sour

Adam Jacobi — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:40:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football

JUNIOR, COME DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT

No!

YOUR MEAL WILL GET COLD, AND THAT WILL MAKE YOU EVEN MORE UNPLEASANT THAN USUAL. WHY ARE YOU STILL UPSTAIRS

I'm on the internet. I have important business to take care of.

YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE KEEPING US WAITING SO YOU MAY WETHUMP YOUR OWN HAND. I HAVE BEEN ON THE INTERNET AND I DO NOT LIKE IT

THERE WAS ONE WEBSITE WITH TWO GIRLS THAT APPEARED TO HAVE THE WORST OF GASTROINTESTINAL PROBLEMS

GOD BLESS THEM, THOUGH, THEY SEEMED TO BE WORKING THROUGH THEIR TROUBLES TOGETHER

I'm not defiling myself, Dad! You said God cries when I do that.

HE DOES

I had to write on my Obama blog. Yes we can! Yes we can!

I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU AND THAT AMERICA HATER, AND I'VE TOLD YOU PLENTY OF TIMES TO STOP CHANTING LIKE A COMMUNIST

You never let me do my politics in the house!

THAT IS BECAUSE I RAISED YOU IN JOE PATERNO'S IMAGE, AS IN A DEVOUT REPUBLICAN. NOW YOU GO ON AND ON ABOUT SUPPORTING SOMEONE WHO CALLS HIMSELF "A BOMBER," WHEN THAT IS CLEARLY THE DOMAIN OF THE NORTHERN IRISH AND OTHER KNOWN DRUNKS AND TERRORISTS

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TAUGHT IN DEVIL COLLEGE, BUT IT IS RENDING THIS FAMILY ASUNDER LIKE SO MANY WILD DEMOCRAT HYENAS

Devil? Dad, I went to Penn State! For crissakes, I was a letterwinner in 1989 for you!

THEN I HAVE FAILED AS A FATHER AND A COACH AND AN AMERICAN

Whatever. I'm not like you. I'm part of a new generation of American thinkers. You old lemons can cling to your antiquated notions and politics, but you won't be part of my America! Si se puede!

GOOD HEAVENS, THE SPANIARD'S TONGUE

Look, Republicans don't even stand for anything anymore. They're stealing money from you! I read it on MoveOn.org and IdiotsWithTieDyeBongs.gov.hippie.whatever

I WILL NOT ENGAGE IN ANY MORE OF THIS PARTISANSHIP WITH YOU, I HAVE MY OWN VIEWS UPON WHICH I HAVE STOOD FOR YEARS, AND IF THE REPUBLICANS GET AWAY FROM THAT THEN I HAVE ENOUGH POLITICAL CAPITAL TO START MY OWN POLITICAL PARTY

How about the Lemon Party, you old lemon?

YES, THE LEMON PARTY

FIRST WITH ME IS RON PAUL, I ADMIRE HIS STRICT CONSTITUTIONIST STANDS

I WILL START A LEMON PARTY WITH RON PAUL

What the heck are you going to campaign on? This is going to be a party of nothing but 70+ year old white guys!

WELL THEN WE WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO START WITH CPR LESSONS ON ACCOUNT OF THE HIGH RISK OF MEDICAL EMERGENCIES AT OUR MEETINGS

ALSO WE WILL TALK ABOUT MY FAVORITE PART OF FOOTBALL, THE TRENCH WARFARE

The linemen?

YES, THERE WILL BE MUCH DISCUSSION OF MAN ON MAN ACTION IN THE LEMON PARTY

Outstanding. Well, I'm sure you old lemons will have lots of fun.

WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS, MAKE A LEMON PARTY

Is your stupid Lemon Party going to have a website?

WHAT IN THE BLOOD RED HELL IS A WEBSITE

Pictures courtesy of Brian Bahr, Getty Images and Carolyn Kaster, AP

The JoePa Chronicles: A Father, Son, and Politics Turn Sour originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Wed, 25 Jun 2008 10:40:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Jay Paterno Hearts Barack Obama on Company Time

Brian Grummell — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:09:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10

That apple fell far from the tree, politically. And, perhaps, in overall football competence.

So anyway, Penn State quarterback coach Jay Peterno spends some of his workday hours blogging in support of Barack Obama. I'm not here to judge but it seems an unusual use of office time for someone basically credited with the disastrous Penn State quarterback situation the last few years. And of course, Penn State fans are letting him hear about it.

By Joe Eb from York, PA Jun 20th 2008 at 9:52 am EDT And Jay you should be worrying about the offense of a college football team that has a LOT of questions, not blogging about Obama.

By Jay Paterno Jun 20th 2008 at 10:02 am EDT For your information our offense was #1 in the Big Ten last year in the only two categories that we really look at: the key situations of Red Zone and Third Downs (and to a lesser extent 4th downs where we ranked #7 in the nation).

Yeah. Read the whole thing for inevitable comment deletions, "Zach Mills" never-ending arguments and other hilarity.

Jay Paterno Hearts Barack Obama on Company Time originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:09:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Four Things Worth Reading: The Return!

Brian Cook — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:29:00 EST

Filed under: Alabama Football, Auburn Football, Iowa Football, Penn State Football, UCLA Football, Blogs

A regular trip through the college football blogosphere.

1. That list is how long? A list of Penn State malfeasance since 2002 has been kicking around message boards for the past few weeks and may have even spurred ESPN to sic Outside the Lines on the Nits. It has 61(!!!) separate incidents featuring Penn State players and the long arm of the law. Or, sometimes, the long arm of nothing in particular:

53. Joe Paterno - Road Rage - No Charges

As much as we all love the possibly apocryphal JoePa road rage incident, it resulted in no charges and, uh, did not involve a Penn State player.

Many of the other incidents are arrests that resulted in acquittals or college kids getting busted for holding a half-full Natty Lite, which is punishment in an of itself. The list is overstated. But how much?

Run Up The Score breaks it down for you. The general conclusion:

All in all, the Penn State Nittany Lions don't have a widespread, 1988 Miami Hurricanes style criminal gang disguised in plain football uniforms. They have a drinking and fighting problem. Players aren't shooting guns or selling drugs. They're getting loaded and brawling. While I take modest comfort in the fact that the football roster doesn't double as a suspect list from The Wire, there is still a rather obvious behavioral problem within the program.

This is probably because the man they should fear more than any other is kind of ancient and "works from home."2. Bruins Nation is well-known around the college football blogosphere for one thing: blinding hatred of Karl Dorrell. And ridiculous expectations. Bruins Nation is well known around the college football blogosophere for two things: blinding hatred of Karl Dorrell, ridiculous expectations, and... incredibly soft lambswool kid gloves that apply silky lotion to the backside of Rick Neuheisel?

It is apparently so. Sunday Morning Quarterback takes a dryly hilarious look at a certain... difference in outlook now that a coach not universally regarded as incompetent has taken over. It's not in the direction you might imagine.

3. I object, dear sirs. It's one thing when the mainstream media derides all bloggers as mother's-basement living illiterate troglodytes. That's such an old saw now that it communicates more about the lame-stereotype proprietor than actual blogs. But what's with Paul Finebaum exalting the Capstone Report, the most mouth-breathing Alabama blog on the planet, one that accused the 'Bama players of being "without pride" and said they "didn't even want to know how to be champions" after last year's Louisiana-Monroe loss?

Finebaum is a cynical, joyless person who manufactures outrage for money, but exposing the Capstone Report to a wider audience only makes blogs look like sports talk radio, and that's too far. Auburn blog The Joe Cribbs Car Wash says this aggression will not stand, man, and fisks righteously.

Zinger incoming!

The point: if you've ever wondered what the hell kind of people would look at a manatee and come away telling everyone they'd seen a mermaid, the answer is the ancestors of Paul Finebaum.

Pow.

4. Don't mess with Gary Barta, Iowa Athletic Director, if you want to keep all your organs. (Language warning.)

Four Things Worth Reading: The Return! originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:29:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The JoePa Chronicles: ESPN to Drop Hammer on Penn State

Adam Jacobi — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:08:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10

The saying goes that nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people. Being that there's no more direct route to bankruptcy than by incurring a lawsuit, our legal department has ordered me under threat of ~~torture~~ enhanced interrogation that I inform everybody that what follows is not true. I would have guessed you knew that, but I also would have guessed Dunston Checks In was not a real movie, so there you go. Anyway, these are lies with jokes.

Scene: Joe Paterno's Office

AND THAT IS WHY UNTIL THE LATE 19TH CENTURY, "POPE" WAS PRONOUNCED "POOP"

I'm not even Catholic and I find that deeply offensive. And totally incorrect.

IT IS IN THE BIBLE

Oh it isn't either.

RING

SECRETARY, MAKE THAT DEMON BOX STOP RINGING

It's a telephone. Even you use telephones.

THIS ONE TALKS TO THE WHOLE ROOM, AND THAT IS UNDOUBTEDLY THE WORK OF BLACK MAGICKS

RING

THERE IT GOES AGAIN

Sigh. Fine. I'll get it. Joe Paterno's office, secretary speaking.

Hi, this is a very concerned reporter with ESPN. We just wanted you to know that despite repeated requests for interviews

I'LL NOT BE GRANTING ANY INTERVIEWS TO A NEWS ORGANIZATION THAT RUTHLESSLY SLANDERED MY QUARTERBACK FOR CALLING HIM AN IRISHMAN, THE MOST UNTRUSTWORTHY OF BREEDS, BACK IN 1952

Well, for one, we didn't even exist until sometime in the 1970's, so

EVERYONE IN YOUR MEDIUM IS THE EXACT SAME TO ME

That doesn't make any sense!

Tell that to Buzz.

CONTINUE WITH YOUR STORY, STRANGE FLOATING VOICE

Anyway, we've received records of several recent instances of misconduct inside your program, and we think the sports world needs to know about it. We'll be airing it on ESPN's runaway hit series, Outside The Lines. It's like C-SPAN for sports.

Yes, my friends and I watch that all the time.

I DO TOO, EVERYBODY LOVES THAT SHOW, BECAUSE SPORTS IS VERY, VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS

We're just looking for some quotes on the situation. I mean, we're talking about 61 different instances

61?!

Yessir.

JIMINY CHRISTMAS

Is that... can I quote you on that?

JIMINY CHRISTMAS, WHERE ARE YOU

What?

Here I am, Joe! Gosh, but you look mighty upset!

I ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THAT, WHY IS THE DISEMBODIED VOICE TELLING ME MY TEAM HAS BEEN ENGAGING IN GROSS MISBEHAVIOR LATELY

Well, I'm awful afraid that's right.

Um, is there someone else in the room?

No. He does this a lot.

THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS; I HAVE USED YOUR SERVICES WITH DECADES, AND BETWEEN YOUR GUARDIAN ANGELICISM AND MY PENCHANT FOR CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT, PENN STATE HAD A STERLING REPUTATION FOR DISCIPLINE

I know, Joe, but

MR. PATERNO WILL BE FINE, THANK YOU

But Mr. Paterno, times change! My job's not so cut and dried anymore!

THANK YOU. EXPOUND PLEASE

Well y'see, a few years ago, my bosses at Disney acquired ESPN, who operate the outstanding, interesting, and never tedious or heavy-handed Outside The Lines.

A GREAT SHOW IT IS

So they came up to me and told me in no uncertain terms that I'd be switching responsibilities and instead work to ruin program discipline in order to make a fine episode of O.T.L. If I didn't, they'd set fire to every cel of animation I was in, and I'd just cease to be! Gosh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Paterno, this is all just modern business, and I guess I might not be cut out for it. :(

CONFOUND IT, I NEVER DID LIKE THE CRICKET

What is he talking about?

Shhh. He's rolling.

NOW THAT THE STORY IS COMING OUT, I ASSUME YOU WON'T BE CAUSING MY YOUNG MEN ANY MORE TROUBLE

Well, that's not so true; I kinda told Pat Devlin to drive through your office wall with a stolen police cruiser!

WHEN WILL THAT HAPPEN

Any minute now!

YIKES

Is he... done?

I DEMAND SILENCE, I'M WAITING

(cough)

(All images courtesy of Getty Images)

The JoePa Chronicles: ESPN to Drop Hammer on Penn State originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Thu, 12 Jun 2008 20:08:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Schiano to Penn State Rumors as Unkillable as JoePa Himself

Brian Cook — Fri, 30 May 2008 13:44:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, NCAA FB Rumors, Rutgers Football

Greg Schiano is a young, successful coach who's turned down offers from Miami and Michigan the past two years. Joe Paterno is a thousand years old and is widely rumored to be entering his final season as Penn State's head coach. Schiano was a Penn State defensive backs coach back before he came to prominence as Miami's defensive coordinator. Add it all up and...

Barring a last-minute power struggle or change of heart, the source indicated that this will be Paterno's last season in Happy Valley, and that Penn State would move quickly after Schiano at season's end.

That's an internet sportsmag called The Phanatic that covers the sports of Philadelphia and environs. Though few have heard of them, they seem to be a relatively up-and-up lot and do feature a couple hundred thousand hits on their site counter. Take or leave that as you please.

Penn State blogs naturally go "urk!?!" at mention of this since Schiano appears to be the only truly attractive option available to Penn State should this be Joe Paterno's last year of vaguely guiding actual Penn State head coach Tom Bradley, nominally the defensive coordinator.

Color this guy skeptical, since the Phanatic's article is explicitly couched in anonymity and vagueness. From appearances, coaching searches are always but always fiascoes. Even if the Phanatic's source is Graham Spanier himself, the situation will change a thousand times before a new Penn State coach is named.

Evidence? Last year during the Michigan coaching search a highly reliable tipster told me Michigan had come to an agreement with its new head coach: Greg Schiano.

Schiano to Penn State Rumors as Unkillable as JoePa Himself originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Fri, 30 May 2008 13:44:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Reasons Against College Football Playoff Legitimate, Joe Paterno Be Damned

Brian Grummell — Mon, 26 May 2008 14:12:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football

Quote the Penn State coach last week:

"To be frank with you, I don't know what the reasons are not to have a playoff," Paterno said during a speaking appearance in Pittsburgh. "You can talk about missing class and all that kind of stuff, (yet) you see basketball go on forever. You have a lot of bogus excuses.

Now, far be it from me to lay into one of college football's most decorated coaches, but Joe Paterno's argument itself is bogus. First of all, he cites exactly one argument against a playoff here, that of the game becoming a two-semester event and taking student-athletes away from the classroom.

I don't personally buy into that argument either, since there are much better ones against a playoff. But it isn't "bogus". I hate to bring up that childhood example but it fits so we'll run it: if your friends go and jump off a bridge, do you jump as well? The answer is of course not. Just because college basketball's jumped off that bridge doesn't justify college football doing the same.

Furthermore, Paterno's being patently dishonest. Most of the time I see public arguments against a playoff, they have little to do with the academics. Even the conference commissioners are starting to cite other quite solid reasons besides the academics charge.

Examples? After the jump.

ESPN's Mark Schlabach recently penned a fairly honest rundown of the BCS vs. Playoff landscape.

"I think last year probably crystallized it for us," Big East commissioner Mike Tranghese said. "I think if there had been a four-team playoff last year, the yelling and screaming from Georgia and Southern California would have been so outrageous that the pressure to go from four to six to eight would have just been a matter of time. Then we would have gone to 12 and 16. I've seen what's happened in Division I-AA. It started as four and went to eight and then 16. Now they want to go to 20. It's just not where we want to go. I know it's what the public wants, but as I sit here and my people sit here, we don't think it's in the best interest of college football. I know that's not what the public wants to hear."

That expansion phenomena is what Get The Picture accurately called "mission creep". From Wikipedia:

Mission Creep the expansion of a project or mission beyond its original goals, often after initial successes. The term often implies a certain disapproval of newly adopted goals by the user of the term. Mission creep is usually considered undesirable due to the dangerous path of each success breeding more ambitious attempts, only stopping when a final, often catastrophic, failure occurs. The term was originally applied exclusively to military operations, but has recently been applied to many different fields, mainly the growth of bureaucracies.

I remember taking a public policy class in college on a whim. Much time was spent discussing how organizations work and what some of the common errors are that derail or change an organization's mission. One of the most troubling was this mission creep concept, in how a decent idea stays decent only if contained. But as is often the case, various interests pull and tug and reshape what was once a limited idea into something hideous and grotesque and no longer responsive to what it was intended to serve.

Fear of mission creep is a legitimate concern by those advocating against a playoff in college football, as stated so well by Commissioner Tranghese.

I won't go over the laundry list of reasons against a playoff within this entry, but I'll expose one more flaw stated by proponents within Schlabach's article.

Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville, who became one of the BCS' biggest critics after his undefeated 2004 team was left out of the national championship game, said selling tickets for playoff games wouldn't be a problem.

"I think what will happen is 75 percent of the tickets would be sold to corporate America, just like the Super Bowl," Tuberville said. "Each team would get 10,000 or 15,000 seats that they'll have no problem selling. Most teams take 15,000 to 20,000 to a bowl game.

Speaking of bogus arguments ...

Do college football fans really want a fan experience like the Super Bowl? One major difference between the NFL and college football, and what makes college football resonate so well with its fans, is the fan experience. College football is a lot more like soccer with stadium-wide chants, all kinds of pageantry and oddball traditions (from Auburn's eagle flying to USC's Traveler, the marching bands, etc.). It's a fan-first experience steeped in nostalgia.

The Super Bowl is nothing if not cold and corporate. The stadium itself is usually quite quiet and far from festive unless you count all the generic pageantry unrelated to either team or its fans. I hold nothing against the fan who gets a ticket from their company or from a giveaway, but they're taking the seat of an actual fan which robs the game of atmosphere and liveliness.

Tuberville's right, most teams in an average bowl game bring 15,000-20,000 fans. But it's much different for the BCS type games that would become playoff games if a playoff is enacted. I was at this year's Rose Bowl and by my estimate I thought Illinois brought something in the rage of 30,000-35,000 fans. The atmosphere was absolutely electric even when the Illini lost control of the game. Fans flock to single bowl games that they can plan for, get airfare and hotels for and be part of the festivities. They're there to actively root for their teams as opposed to being there for a show as if the circus was in town.

When you hand out the majority of tickets to corporations, you don't get that atmosphere and the college game loses a great deal for it. The Super Bowl should absolutely not be the model to follow.

Reasons Against College Football Playoff Legitimate, Joe Paterno Be Damned originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 26 May 2008 14:12:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Joe Paterno Will Never Leave

Adam Jacobi — Sat, 24 May 2008 22:45:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10, NCAA FB Coaching

In last night's story about Joe Paterno and his comments about a playoff system, we remarked that Mr. Paterno didn't expect to see a playoff during his tenure at Penn State, which he said would last "another 10 or 15 years." The newspaper article claimed Paterno then laughed at his own "joke."

Were it only so simple.

The ensuing conversation between Mr. Paterno, his athletic director, Tim Curley, and a completely fictional secretary follows after the jump. The legal department is threatening me with chemical castration if I don't tell you that this is all made up, but whatever, it's all totally true--hey, hey, watch the lye, I said what you told me to say.

Scene: a large office.

You wanted to see us, Mr. Curley?

Yes, yes, please, have a seat. Can I get you anything?

I'm fine.

All right. Anyway, I caught the press conference today, Mr. Paterno. Pretty strong stuff.

Yeah, I didn't think you'd be so open about the playoff thing. I mean, we've heard... you around the office... Mr. Paterno, is everything okay?

You're being awfully quiet.

PARDON

You have anything to say about the presser? Playoffs?

I WOULD LIKE TO VOICE AN OPINION ON SOMETHING ELSE

Okay?

BACK IN 1975, WE HAD A KID BY THE NAME OF KENT STATE AT LEFT END. HE WAS A FINE PLAYER IN HIS OWN RIGHT, VERY STURDY, BUT SLOWER THAN DIRT. ONE DAY HE COMES UP TO ME AND TELLS ME "COACH PATERNO, I LOVE THE GAME OF FOOTBALL, AND I ALSO PLAY A MEAN PIANO. I'M NOT SURE THE OTHER PLAYERS WILL LIKE IT IF I TELL THEM ABOUT MY OTHER HOBBY, OR IF THEY'LL MAKE FUN OF ME." ALWAYS ONE FOR THE ARTS, I SUPPORTED YOUNG KENT AND PULLED A FEW STRINGS TO GET HIM A SPOT AT THE GREAT ROYAL PHILADELPHIA CONCERT HALL

Kent State is a univer

SO THE DAY BEFORE THE ALABAMA GAME, BEFORE A SOLD-OUT CROWD, HE STEPS OUT ONTO THE STAGE DRESSED IN A TUXEDO, TAILS AND ALL. HE SITS AT THE PIANO, AND THE AUDIENCE IS RAPT. HE ANNOUNCES THAT HE WILL BE PLAYING RACHMANINOV'S SEVENTH SUITE

I don't mean to be a stickler, Mr. Patern

HE RAISES HIS HANDS, AND BRINGS THEM DOWN IN A THUNDEROUS CRASH ON THE KEYS AS FISTS. HE CONTINUES "PLAYING" THE PIANO IN A RANDOM, VIOLENT FASHION AND SINGS THE ALPHABET SONG, EXCEPT WITHOUT THE A, L, A, B, A, M, AND A, WHICH SPELLS ALABAMA. WHEN THE PERFORMANCE WAS DONE, A GREAT CHEER WENT UP FROM THE AUDIENCE, ONE THAT WILL NEVER BE MATCHED IN A HUNDRED GAMES AT BEAVER STADIUM. I WAS NEVER MORE PROUD OF THE ARTS THAN ON THAT FINE DAY

Can we move on to another subject? Like anything else at all?

YOU MAY KNOW HIM BY HIS STAGE NAME, FRANK SINATRA

Anyway, we do have lots to talk about. Like your contract.

AN INFERNAL PIECE OF PAPER, IF I MAY SAY SO

Right, as you're aware, you're only under contract through the end of this season.

IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU SHOULD SAY UNDER IT

Come again?

PLEASE, LOOK OUT THE WINDOW

Mr. Paterno, what am I supposed to be looking for?

THERE, THE GYROCOPTER ABOVE US

Is... why is a helicopter hovering above Lasch?

NOW, SECRETARY, NOW

Now what?

Yeah, what are you talking about

YOU CONTEMPTIBLE LOUT, I WAS VERY SPECIFIC IN MY INSTRUCTIONS AS TO HOW THIS OPERATION WOULD BE UNDERTAKEN. AT MY COMMAND, WHICH IS QUITE CLEARLY THE WORD "NOW," YOU WERE TO FIRE THE SCUD MISSILE AT THE GYRO-COPTER

You told me about this plan fifteen minutes ago! And then you said Mothra would rip the ceiling off Lasch and take Mr. Curley away. I figured you were just telling another one of your jokes.

I NEVER JOKE ABOUT COACHING AT PENN STATE, WHICH WILL BE FOREVER

Mothra's in movies. He's not real.

THAT IS WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR, AND NOW HE IS MAKING PLATINUM ALBUMS LIKE BIG WILLIE STYLE IN REAL LIFE

Are we done in here? Can I please go home? For once?

ONE MORE ORDER OF BUSINESS, SECRETARY

(buries head in hands)

IN CASE YOU HAD FORGOTTEN, YOU HAVE A HELICOPTER TO TAKE DOWN

I told you I don't have a freaking missile! How am I supposed to get a missile?! It's not happening!

I SAID TAKE IT DOWN

How?! Do you expect me to throw baseballs at it or something?!

I APPRECIATE YOUR GUMPTION, BUT WOMEN ARE NOT TO TOUCH BASEBALLS. FIND A SOFTBALL AND GET TO IT

This is the worst job ever.

Joe Paterno Will Never Leave originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Sat, 24 May 2008 22:45:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Joe Paterno Calls Reasons Against Playoffs "Bogus"

Adam Jacobi — Sat, 24 May 2008 02:17:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10, BCS, Bowl Games

Laugh if you must, but when JoePa was growing up, "bogus" was positively PG-13 language.

Despite Brian Cook's comprehensive dismissal, there still exists a notion that the Big Ten is the sole factor behind the resistance to playoffs. If Friday's news doesn't completely dispel said notion (and it won't), it at least draws out a couple flaws.

Joe Paterno, PSU's venerable patriarch, took the bowl system's fallback reasonings to task, and as usual, the 81-year-old spared the diplomacy. A bit.

"To be frank with you, I don't know what the reasons are not to have a playoff," Paterno said during a speaking appearance in Pittsburgh. "You can talk about missing class and all that kind of stuff, (yet) you see basketball go on forever. You have a lot of bogus excuses, but obviously the majority of people who have the say don't want it."

Obviously, proponents of the current BCS system can rest easily, as Mr. Paterno won't be around much... much... oh no:

"I'm only going to be a head coach another 10 or 15 years, and I don't think it will happen by then."

That's just a joke, right?

Um, right?

Joe Paterno Calls Reasons Against Playoffs "Bogus" originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Sat, 24 May 2008 02:17:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Worst Moments in Big Ten Football History #5: If Ten Was Eleven, or Something Like That

Mark Hasty — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:54:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10, NCAA FB History

FanHouse is counting down the ten best, ten worst, and ten weirdest moments in the history of Big Ten football.

ABOVE: The sort of person it does not take to count to eleven.

Cue the jokes. You know the ones I'm talking about. "What do you expect from a conference that can't even count?" Let me give you a hint: unfunny. And old. If those jokes were kids, they'd be graduating from high school this spring. It's been that long since the conference announced Penn State would be joining, bringing the total membership of the Big Ten to eleven schools. The move became official in 1990, although Penn State's athletic teams didn't begin conference competition until 1993.

But, as I so often say, it's hard to argue with somebody when they're right, and the Big Ten haters are right. The conference can't count, or at least they didn't recount when Penn State came on board. Why should they have? One of the most basic rules of marketing is "don't mess with a successful brand," and everybody knew the name "Big Ten." Even if they didn't like Big Ten football, fans knew the name.
Of course, they also knew the name "Big Eight." Nobody complained much when that conference changed its name to the poncey "Big XII" (ooh, Roman numerals!) after it took in four teams from the great big smoking hole in the ground that used to be the Southwestern Conference. It's likely that no one would have said a word if the conference had gone ahead and changed its name to "Big Eleven."

It's not like the conference has always been the Big Ten, after all. "Big Ten" didn't become the conference's official name until 1987. It had always been legally known as the Intercollegiate Conference of Faculty Representatives prior to that, and it went by several unofficial names: Western Conference (a curious name for a conference whose schools are mostly located in the Eastern time zone), Big Nine (1899-1917 and again from 1936 to 1950) and, of course, Big Ten.

So it's not like the name was handed down on stone tablets from on high. Would it have killed them, or the Big Ten brand, to give the conference a name that accurately reflected the number of schools in it?

None of this is to say that adding Penn State to the conference was a bad move at all. PSU, as a large land-grant university, was a logical fit. The addition also brought two large media markets, Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, to Big Ten territory. Plus, Penn State fans did their part, immediately deciding that Big Ten football referees had it in for their team, adding some drama to a league that really needed some. (Seriously, just drop the name "Witvoet" on a Penn State message board. It's as hilarious as mentioning Rob Houghtlin to a Michigan fan.)

So if the Big Ten is losing any sleep over its image as a conference that can't even count, at least they have a great big pile of television money on which to toss and turn. But if/when they bring Notre Dame into the fold, they'd better go ahead and change the name.

Worst Moments in Big Ten Football History #5: If Ten Was Eleven, or Something Like That originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Wed, 21 May 2008 12:54:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Penn State's Fantastic Offseason Continues: Sean Lee Has a Torn ACL

Tom Fornelli — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 21:19:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10, NCAA FB Injuries

Penn State has always been known as Linebacker U, and in recent years this tradition hasn't changed with players like Paul Posluszny and Dan Connor. Of course, both of those gentleman are now either in the NFL, or on the verge of being in the NFL with the draft coming up in a few weeks. The Nittany Lions weren't too worried about the loss of Connor last season, because they had their new beast in the middle ready to take over in Sean Lee.

Unfortunately, the Nittany Lions are going to have to go to a backup plan because Lee has torn an ACL and will likely miss the 2008 season.

Lee will have surgery within the next 2-4 weeks and rehabilitation will take approximately nine months, according to Dr. Wayne Sebastianelli, Penn State's Director of Athletic Medicine.

"I have a responsibility to the team to help do everything I can this year in what might be a non-conventional way," Lee said in a school news release. "I have to turn this into a positive. It's a bump in the road. I'm excited about the team we have and the kind of season we can have. It's a great opportunity for a young guy."

Easier said than done because replacing a player like Lee won't be easy. If you were so inclined, you could make an argument that Lee was the team's best defensive player last season, even with Connor alongside him. He's already been named Big Ten Defensive Player of the Week twice, was a second-team all conference selection, and was going to be a team captain. If there's any good news about this, and it's of little consolation, it's that Lee does have a redshirt to burn.

It's been a particularly bad off-season for Penn State, what with just about everybody on the team getting arrested for something, and the never-ending distraction that is Joe Paterno's impending retirement. The way things are going, I'm pretty sure I'm going to wake up to the following headline at some point in the next week: Penn State's Beaver Stadium Collapses, Killing Entire Team. Just watch, it'll happen.

Penn State's Fantastic Offseason Continues: Sean Lee Has a Torn ACL originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Sat, 12 Apr 2008 21:19:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Chris Bell Is a Big Crocodile Dundee Fan

Brian Cook — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 10:45:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10, NCAA FB Police Blotter

Chris Bell was a highly touted recruit and promising freshman whose sophomore season was derailed by misbehavior. He is also bats. Full-on bats.

For example, the most prominent but far from only incident of mishbehavior last year was Bell delivering a Macho Man Randy Savage flying elbow to some civilian during an epic brawl Penn State bloggers refer to as "the HUB fight." History is silent on whether Bell instructed his victim to SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM OOOOH YEAH afterwards.

That's hard to top, but it looks like Bell's done it:

Former football player Chris Bell was arrested last night after Penn State Police said he threatened another student with an 8-inch blade during a dispute that yielded no injuries in Pollock Dining Commons.

That's not a knife! This is a knife! Except, yeah, an eight-inch knife is pretty much a knife at all times even in Australia.

With Bell already suspended from the team for an array of issues including the aforementioned flying elbow and academic problems -- thus the "former" in the quote above -- everyone is writing Bell's Penn State obituary, which would make him the first kid to actually get booted from the team since Anthony Scirroto rounded up a posse and got his unlawful trespass on, ushering an era of misbehavior more traditionally associated with Miami or Tennessee than Penn State.

How much does this hurt the Nittany Lions? Moderately. PSU's three leading receivers return but are seniors, and after Bell's class Penn State has had severe difficulty attracting skill position players. He would have been the #1 option in 2009.

Chris Bell Is a Big Crocodile Dundee Fan originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 08 Apr 2008 10:45:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Paterno Family's Divided Political Loyalties

Brian Grummell — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:04:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10, The Word

Egads! It's the 1960's all over again.

Follow the script: Dad's a crusty old Republican. Son's enamored with the candidate representing "hope", "change" and an end to a protracted war. They share the same blue collar Pennsylvania work address and the love that comes with a father-son relationship.

Such is life with the Paterno's, the first family of Pennsylvania college football.

Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, a noted Republican, says he thought long and hard before deciding against greeting Bill Clinton when the former president visited campus on behalf of his wife's presidential campaign. [snip]

Paterno's son and quarterbacks coach, Jay Paterno, supports Clinton's rival, Sen. Barack Obama, who is scheduled to make a campaign stop at Penn State on Sunday. The younger Paterno said at the opening of Obama's campaign office in State College that his choice was rooted in what's best for his five children.

"The only thing I have for Jay is admiration for him because he's willing to do what he thinks is right," Paterno said. "He's sticking his neck out for Obama."

Joe Paterno may eat brains, but he has yet to eat his own flesh and blood. Although maybe for the sake of the Penn State offense maybe he should.

Paterno Family's Divided Political Loyalties originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:04:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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El Busto: Penn State Receiver Derrick Williams

Brian Grummell — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 12:26:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10, The Word

Remember him? The former Rivals.com #1 recruit, with offers from everyone? He's now buried in a Philadelphia Daily News story about holes in Penn State's roster as the Nittany Lions enter spring practice is the following:

On offense, strengths are at wide receiver as the top three receivers (Derrick Williams, Deon Butler and Jordan Norwood) all return for their senior seasons

Ho hum, which is not exactly how you want your senior year to be treated when you're all-everything and can name your college. You're not even supposed to have a senior year when you get that kind of billing. Welcome to Williams' world, paragraph ten and so very far from the headlines.

And, no, we're not piling on Penn State this week. It just seems that way.

(H/T: The Wizard of Odds)

El Busto: Penn State Receiver Derrick Williams originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 24 Mar 2008 12:26:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Get to Know Joe Paterno

John Radcliff — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 10:01:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10, NCAA FB Media Watch, NCAA FB Video

Does anything really surprise you anymore? Me neither. But still, if you're a journalism or communications student at Penn State have we got an offer for you. Now you can study Joe Paterno and his interaction with the media starting this fall. Which means you should probably get real familiar with the word "brains", and study all the Night of the Living Dead movies for self defense purposes if you plan on getting close to the subject.

As far as the class goes, I'm going to suggest to you that you stay guarded against believing schools like Temple, Youngstown State, and Florida International ever have a chance of winning anything other than sportsmanship awards. Because over his time as coach of Penn State, Joe has been known to build up the opposition in his press conferences well beyond what any knowledgeable college football fan would believe. Some people refer to that as lying. But in Joe's case, that's just Joe being Joe.

And speaking of Joe being Joe, you might find out that Joe is kind of renaissance man in your studies. Football coach (obviously), but more importantly, the dude can twirl!

Get to Know Joe Paterno originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Sun, 23 Mar 2008 10:01:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Knives Being Sharpened In State College

Brian Cook — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:59:00 EST

Filed under: Penn State Football, Big 10, NCAA FB Gossip, NCAA FB Coaching

Lion in pissy winter.

The thing they always tell you about war in the books and the movies and the videogames and the expressive dance routines and, I dunno, the carefully crafted toys that if arranged with equal care reveal fundamental truths about the world at war -- and maybe transform into dinosaurs -- is that it's all about the waiting. It's all about the hours beforehand when you see your enemy across the river, sharpening his bayonets on what would otherwise be a pleasant autumn evening.

Joe Paterno and Graham Spanier are marshaling their forces and assembling whetstones in State College, Pennsylvania, and it looks like it's going to turn ugly:

Two members of Penn State's Board of Trustees yesterday told the Post-Gazette that negotiations regarding a possible contract extension or succession plan for Paterno have not gone smoothly.

President Graham Spanier, who ultimately will decide whether Paterno, 81, stays or leaves when his contract expires after the 2008 season, declined to answer specific questions about Paterno's status yesterday.

"There's nothing new to report," Spanier said before the trustees' bimonthly meeting at the Renaissance Mayflower Hotel. "And there are no talks set up for the foreseeable future."

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette further speculates that the uncertainty about Paterno's contract extension could drag into the season, creating a media circus and killing Penn State's already frail recruiting.

One complicating factor: with 18 starters back and Michigan preparing for a transition year, Penn State may be pretty good. If they win ten games and beat accursed Michigan, Paterno will probably have the ammo to stay until the sun grows cold and dim. Spanier would obviously like to get this settled earlier rather than later, and would like to move on with Tom Bradley or an outside candidate like Al Golden or Greg Schiano.

Would Paterno actually retire? If he's held on this long, it seems doubtful, especially with everyone in State College just waiting to get rid of his son, a "quarterbacks coach" of stunning incompetency. Rumors kicking around the Penn State sites declare that Joe's not going anywhere unless the future of his son is guaranteed. Rumors kicking around Michigan sites in the run-up to the Carr retirement had Carr retiring in August so Michigan would be forced to hand the job to Mike Debord, Les Miles sleeping with everyone from Gary Moeller's wife to Mary Sue Coleman to William Shatner, and no fewer than three people who were slam dunks for the job. So, yeah, take that FWIW.

But something's coming to a head this year, and it looks like Paterno will be coaching for his life this fall. Metaphorically. Probably.

Knives Being Sharpened In State College originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:59:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Terrelle Pryor Saga Comes to End This Week

Brian Cook — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 12:02:00 EST

Filed under: Michigan Football, Ohio State Football, Penn State Football, NCAA FB Recruiting

Thumbs up for Celine Dion! Er, I mean the #1 QB recruit in all the land!

Terrelle Pryor's done playing the basketball -- his team foighted (oi!) its way to the state championship last weekend -- and is ready to bring the tablets down from the mountain and bestow them unto one possibly lucky coach:

''I'll be deciding next week. Next week, I'm going to say the school I'm going to, sign it, and get it over with,'' Pryor told a huge throng of reporters. ''I don't know yet [if I'll take any other visits]. I'll probably be done.''

Pryor also says that it's down to two schools "but I can't tell you which two." We can deduct, though: he never visited Oregon, so they're out, and he called Penn State "country," so... yeah, they're probably out. Also he would be coached by Jay Paterno.

This would leave it to Ohio State and Michigan, which thought it would be anyway. Article after article says things like "If it's not Ohio State, I'll eat my own intestines," so I kinda think it will be Ohio State. Just like the rest of the planet.

Previously On Fanhouse:
Terrelle Pryor Is Fightin' Round the World
Pryor Not Signing, May Be on Mushrooms
Hurray: Terrelle Pryor May Not Commit on Signing Day
Is Terrelle Pryor Even Eligible?

Terrelle Pryor Saga Comes to End This Week originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 18 Mar 2008 12:02:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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