NCAA Football FanHouse

Ohio State Hopes Duron Carter Equals Cris Carter, Jr.

Adam Jacobi — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:35:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, Big 10, NCAA FB Recruiting

Buckeye fans may remember an OSU receiver by the name of Cris Carter, who went on to have a rather nondescript career in the NFL. Carter was an All-American receiver at OSU in the early 80's before he caught a paltry 1,101 passes in the NFL, 130 for touchdowns.

Weak, right? Right. It appears, then, that his son Duron is ready to continue the Buckeye legacy (for some reason!), as he recently committed to the Buckeyes:

"I felt very comfortable with the coaching staff," Carter said. "I like the way that Ohio State as a whole and the city of Columbus treats their players on and off the field and I felt like it was the right place for me."

Carter is a 6'3", 185 pound wideout (of course), and he stands to create a devastating combination with superrecruit Terrelle Pryor. Wait, what's that sound? Never mind, it's just Michigan fans throwing themselves off the top of the Big House.

Ohio State Hopes Duron Carter Equals Cris Carter, Jr. originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:35:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Malcolm Jenkins Had Too Much Fun at Playboy's All America Function

Brian Grummell — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 20:07:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, USC Football, Big 10, Pac 10

3 ... 2... 1 ... Splat, in a straw cowboy hat. Not sure whether this was a puke-and-rally scene or if Ohio State's star cornerback (formerly pictured at right -- we're working to add the picture again) executed the El Foldo maneuver and called it a night.

Background: Playboy invites players named on its preseason college football All American team to hang out, bond, and, well, party together before the season.

They take group pictures for the magazine, but otherwise have a lot of free time on their hands. Sometimes that free time is spent wearing silly straw cowboy hats. Sometimes it's spent with women you won't be taking home to mother.

... And sometimes its spent refunding your lunch and all the good stuff that had you so cheerful earlier in the evening. Dagnabbit (sorry, straw hat talking there).

~~More documented fun at the link~~. Hint: USC's linebackers dwarf James Laurinaitis.

Update: Looks like the thread was pulled with all the images from the event. Hmm. Most of the pictures in the now-escaped thread showed several Ohio State and USC players hanging out together, partying, with women, etc. Standard stuff. And of course the former picture of Jenkins above losing his lunch. You'll have to take our word for it. It was funny. Bent over puke on the sidwalk funny. Darn lawyers.

Malcolm Jenkins Had Too Much Fun at Playboy's All America Function originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Fri, 04 Jul 2008 20:07:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Hugh Hewitt's Talking Crazy Talk About USC/Ohio State

Brian Grummell — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:06:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, USC Football, Big 10, Pac 10

Like boom boom, world's gonna end crazy talk.

[USC fans] know that [Ohio State is] gonna slaughter the Trojans, and therefore they do not want me there at the bloodbath, since it's probably the last football game we'll ever get to see before the United States gets blown up by the Islamists under Obama.

Uh huhhhh. Oh, and the conservative Los Angeles based radio host wants his USC listeners to offer him tickets. Good luck with that.

Crazy as this sounds, I'm actually going to defend Hewitt a bit.

I won't defend the world's-gonna-end part, I'll leave that to our sister site News Bloggers to have fun with, but since we're talking college football here ... let it be known Hewitt is an unabashed Ohio State and Notre Dame (and Michigan) guy. USC naturally gets under his skin. I've listened to his show enough to know that one of his favorite things to do is bash USC. It's his schtick, and he gets particular glee from it considering the greatest chunk of his national audience is in USC-mad Orange County, where he also works as a law professor.

I've seen this act before and taken out of context it sounds crazy, but he truly is just being himself and hoping for a rise out of the USC contingent within his listening audience. As a person holding tickets to that game, I won't be offering Hewitt mine, nor do I think it will be a bloodbath in the Buckeyes' favor. But I am thoroughly amused at his opinion, which is what he was aiming for in the first place.

Now about that world's-gonna-end thing ...

(Via: Get The Picture / EDSBS)

Hugh Hewitt's Talking Crazy Talk About USC/Ohio State originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:06:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Garrett GOEBEL Is an EXCITABLE YOUNG MAN BOOM

Brian Cook — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:16:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, General CFB Insanity

Garrett Goebel wants to CRUSH THIS BOOM!

These are the words of Garrett Goebel, a highly-touted defensive tackle who will be a freshman at Ohio State this fall:

BPRT: This is your senior year...what goals have you set personally and for your team?

GG: I plan on winning Conference, winning all playoff games, and becoming the Illinois Class 5A Champions!!! Also, developing leadership skills while convincing my teammates that they can perform at a higher level and accomplish team/personal goals IF THEY ARE WILLING TO MAKE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE!!!

Dude. The first five relevant hits for "ultimate sacrifice" in Google: the crucifixion of Jesus, catrato castration, Indian woman climbing on top of husband's funeral pyre, memorial to deceased American soldiers, and... awwww, goddammit, Tim Russert. (No offense to Russert, but... maybe his death was not the equivalent of a pope or something?)

Goebel is clearly AMPED up and likes to WIN. WIN AT YELLING. MORE! After the JUMP! GRRR AAARRGH!
Oh, there's more:

BPRT: When your career is over, how would you like people to remember Garrett Goebel?

GG: I want to be remembered as a leader, someone who gave 100% of his ENERGY every practice, workout and GAME while believing in accomplishing goals that others discounted. Dedicated, yet sincere, honest and humble while giving thanks to GOD to have this opportunity.

And... well...

BPRT: If you were analyzing yourself on film, what would you list as your strengths and what needs some work?

GG: Strengths: Quickness off the ball, strength, aggressiveness, always giving 100% effort until whistle blows.

Weaknesses: Making a play instead of trying to rip my opponents head off [ Emphasis added ]. Discipline and technique.

I know what Garrett Goebel drinks.

Credit to Ohio State blog Our Honor Defend for digging this up as part of their "Better Know A Buckeye" series.

Garrett GOEBEL Is an EXCITABLE YOUNG MAN BOOM originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Fri, 27 Jun 2008 08:16:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Old School: Mmmmm... Buckstache

Brian Cook — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:46:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, Big 10

"Old School" is the College Football FanHouse's irregular look back at the rich history of college football, usually through the medium of embeddable flash video. Check out the Old School archive for more famous plays and infamous hair.

A little tribute to The MZone, the recently departed Michigan blog that had a brief fling with fame when Colin Cowherd ripped off some of their content, in the form of a 1980s Ohio State commercial heavy on the Buckstaches:

Oh, yeah, and there's AN ENORMOUS INSECT ROBOT THAT'S GOING TO KILL US ALL.

(via Our Honor Defend.)

Old School: Mmmmm... Buckstache originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:46:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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If College Football Teams Were Comedians

Adam Jacobi — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 10:40:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, Texas Football, Arkansas Football

Intrepid writers have long earched for perfect comparisons for football teams. We've seen Simpsons characters, Arrested Development characters, cars, potato chips, and the granddaddy of them all, rappers. Here, we add another chapter to the canon of contextualization: standup comedians.

Frank Caliendo: UCLA

Your absolute, ultimate, professional pretender. Sure, they're popular, but that's because they're right there in Hollywood. Setting foot on national TV for the sole purpose of getting laughed right back off of it. An uncanny ability to make people sick of them before enjoying them.

Key comparison: HIS COACHNESS SIR RICK NEUHEISEL <3 and Caliendo's impression of John Madden. Lucky they're next to someone who knows what the hell he's talking about--"Thanks, John."

George Carlin: Penn State

Transcendent in the 80s, still outstanding in the 90s, but now the wheels are off the track, and the words most bandied about are "senile," "bitter," and "angry."

Key comparison: George Carlin's voice and Joe Paterno's voice. Somewhere between gravelly and demonic at this point.

[NOTE: Carlin passed away after this portion was written, but there's absolutely zero chance that he would want people dodging jokes about him in the wake of his death.]

Dane Cook: Texas

Undeniably popular, and probably earning it. Probably. Sure, there's an odor of douche to it all (Colt McCoy, get a real name, please), but that comes with popularity these days, right? Right? Whatever, you're just jealous.

Key comparison: Superfinger and Hook'Em salute. Put them together, and it's Wonder Twin Powers Activate!

Jeff Foxworthy: West Virginia

Give them 15 minutes, and they'll paint an even more horrifying picture of rednecks than usual. Bizarrely successful.

Key comparison: "If you celebrate a win by taking your living room outside and setting it on fire..."

Jim Gaffigan: BYU

Whiter than white. That goes for the fanbase, too. Still, lovably competent without any delusions of grandeur.

Key comparison: "He looks like a Mormon. What's wrong with looking like a Mormon??"

Mitch Hedberg: California

Look, when your school features hippies named "Dumpster Muffin" trying to save the trees and urinating on people, you automatically get the highest man that ever walked the earth. Aside from Snoop Dogg.

Key comparison: "When I was on acid, I would see things like beams of light. And I would hear things that sounded an awful lot like car horns" and Marshawn Lynch commandeering the injury cart.

Sam Kinison: Texas A&M

"Different" doesn't begin to describe the level of aberrant behavior on display on a routine basis. And what's with all the yelling? Must they seriously lead in the field of yelling? Oh, the answer is "yes"? Okay then.

Key comparison: That car crash and the Dennis Franchione Era. And that's being kind to Franchione.

Larry the Cable Guy: Arkansas

While they're playing off a reputation for being country as hell, they're actually running an incredibly profitable operation, and that's no accident, despite being only tangentially connected with the concept of quality.

Key comparison: "Soooooeeeeee!" and "Get 'er done." You're getting played, fans. Hard. Don't be giving them money just because they repeat some backward-ass, nonsensical phrase every five minutes.
BONUS! key comparison: Witless Protection and Houston Nutt.

Carlos Mencia: Ohio State

We don't care what their bank account says, anyone with half a brain cell knows they're fake as hell. Every second they spend in a state of popularity and success, another decent American stops believing in a just and loving God. A fan base with a uniformly room-temperature IQ. Someone please, please shut them up.

Key comparison: "Der Dee Der" and "O-H-I-O." I learned how to spell "Ohio" when I was three, and was no longer proud of knowing how when I was four. Just sayin'.

Eddie Murphy: Notre Dame

Despite what their name tells you, they're not exactly 100% Irish. Was on top of the world for an extended period of time, but what exactly have they accomplished in the last, oh, 15 years? They put all their eggs in the "insane obesity" basket, and uh, that may not have been the wisest long-term solution.

Key comparison: Charlie Weis and Nutty Professor/Norbit. Brilliant, guys, just brilliant.

Patton Oswalt: Northwestern

Brilliant? Totally. Ass-ugly? Equally so. Unqualified success and superstardom? Ehhh, not quite. If you're looking for discussion of Star Trek, Dungeons & Dragons, or Magic: The Gathering, this is your jam, man. Just don't expect to impress the ladies when you show up to a party in a t-shirt with their name on it.

Honestly, though, you can't really discuss them without their cohorts. Please, observe:

Brian Posehn: Vanderbilt

Same goes. And let's just go ahead and complete the "Comedians of College Football":

Zach Galifianakis: Stanford

I gave Stanford to Zach for the sweater. That's all.

Key comparison: Look at those guys. Like I'm comparing LSU to any of them. C'mon. Anyway, we have an alphabetical order* to uphold.

Michael Richards: Ole Miss

Look, we all know what that flag's all about, and it ain't tradition or states' rights.

Key comparison: Stanley Spadowski and Archie Manning. Transcendent talent on an otherwise laughable outfit.

Chris Rock: Miami

Unhinged enough to scare just about all the white fans. Not scare them away, mind you, but just keeping them abreast of the fact that there's a strange, scary world out there, and they're best admiring from a safe, large distance.

Key comparison: No Sex in the Champagne Room and The Seventh Floor Crew. Two vastly divergent, if equally candid, views on sexuality and the world as a whole.
BONUS! key comparison: Ray Lewis is totally the Tossed Salad Man.

Sinbad: Oregon

A federal sartorial disaster area. Yeah, keep telling us it's stylish for the era. That won't make you any less of a punchline once ten (err, five) years pass. Just stop embarrassing yourself.

Key comparison: White people run the spread option like this (Leaf, Brady), black people run it like this (Dixon, Dennis).

Carrot Top: Syracuse

Did you know that they were technically successful for a while? Now completely unwatchable. Orange in places where there ought not be orange (WARNING: SFW, BUT NOT ADVISABLE FOR WORK, LUNCH, SANITY). Would best serve humanity by being blasted into space.

Key comparison: Prop comedy and Greg Robinson's offense.

Judy Tenuta: Iowa State

Deriving any pleasure from what they do requires a heavy amount of at least one of the following: cynicism, schadenfreude, mental instability.

Key comparison: Let's just move on.

Ron White: Florida

More urbane than most of the rednecks with whom they're in league, which makes them more likable. Wearing a doo-doo-eatin' sneer awhile they rip off hit after hit. And of course, this is just for the long and beautiful history they've got with the mustache. Rock on. Oh, and for that matter...

Ron White: Illinois

Yessir.

Key comparisons: Shhh. Don't try to put words to it. Let the magic happen.

That's all we've got for right now, and if you've got some ideas, compliments, or complaints, the comment box is right down there. Just rest assured that I am always very right and if you disagree with anything in this article, you are very wrong. Oh, and Arkansas, you're totally getting ripped off, don't even bother voicing disagreement. Sorry.

*I can't decide if "the Alphabetical Order" is more likely to be a villian in the Harry Potter or Da Vinci Code series. Maybe both.

If College Football Teams Were Comedians originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 10:40:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Antonio Henton to Leave Ohio State

Tom Fornelli — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:35:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, Big 10, Columbus

When Antonio Henton is an old man, he'll have a lot of memories of his time in Columbus, Ohio as a member of the Ohio State football team. He'll be able to tell his grandchildren about the time he offered that undercover police officer $20 for sex, and about those six passes he got to throw in Ohio Stadium, one of which was for a touchdown.

Then he'll get to tell them about how the Buckeyes recruited freshman phenom quarterback Terrelle Pryor, basically ending any chance Antonio ever had of becoming a starter, and he decided to transfer to Georgia Southern.

Several sources close to the team said that Antonio Henton is expected to transfer to Georgia Southern. Coach Jim Tressel refused to confirm the move, saying only that Henton "is a good kid." As of last night, sources said Henton had not told team officials he was leaving.

It's hard to blame Henton for the decision because he didn't leave his home state of Georgia for Ohio State to sit on the bench for five years. Plus, going to a new school will help him get a fresh start after the legal troubles and suspension he had to deal with in Columbus. Not to mention that he'll be reunited with his high school coach, Rance Gillespie, who is now the offensive coordinator at Georgia Southern.

As for the Buckeyes, while Antonio's departure is not the end of the world, it doesn't leave much experience behind starter Todd Boeckman. Henton was the QB #2 on the roster, and will now be replaced by two freshman in Joe Bauserman and the aforementioned Pryor, neither of which have thrown a pass as a Buckeye.

Antonio Henton to Leave Ohio State originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:35:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Terrelle Pryor in a Diaper

Brian Cook — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 12:02:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, Big 10, The Word

Let's cut right to the chase:

What is this? A creepy porn shoot released into the wild by embittered Michigan fans? An American Gladiators tryout? An America's Next Top Model photo shoot?

Oh, you know the answer's coming after the jump.
Skip to about two minutes in for your answer:

...it seems Ohio State put sensors all over these guys and had them, like, bend around and stuff and then thought it was a good idea to publicize things like Willie Mobley looking like the most frightening woman in existence. Or some guy adjusting Pryor's junk. Or no fewer than seven Ohio State recruits with perfect "you have got to be f-ing kidding me" looks as some doof in khaki shorts shows them exactly how Ohio State would like them to look stupid.

Ohio State: where you can wear a blue diaper in a creepy clinical environment... and have it broadcast to the world!

Terrelle Pryor in a Diaper originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 16 Jun 2008 12:02:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Terrelle Pryor Is Chillin' With Arnold Palmer

Brian Cook — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:40:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, Big 10

This is just a weird picture even if you know that Arnold Palmer went to ~~Ohio State~~ Wake Forest way back in nineteen dickety-two:

Palmer looks a little like Sam Cassell, Terrelle Pryor is evidently getting his fashion tips from new head coach/demon Jim Tressel, and that guy with the goatee looks like he wandered in from a Cheech and Chong look-alike competition, man.

At least Pryor has better luck than Brady Quinn when it comes to random pictures of him ending up on the internet.

Also: nice watch! Someone call the NCAA!

UPDATE: Yeah, apparently Arnold Palmer went to Wake Forest. Nicklaus went to OSU. So this is even more inexplicable.

(Via Busted Coverage.)

Terrelle Pryor Is Chillin' With Arnold Palmer originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:40:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Worst Moments in Big Ten Football History #7: John Cooper's Record Against Michigan

Mark Hasty — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:50:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, Big 10, NCAA FB Coaching, NCAA FB History, Columbus

FanHouse is counting down the ten best, ten worst, and ten weirdest moments in the history of Big Ten football.

Could a coach at Ohio State go 1-11 and still stay in the fans' good graces as long as the one win was against Michigan? Unless both programs take a ride on the porcelain Tilt-A-Whirl, we'll never know. Can a Buckeye coach go 11-1 (or at least only have one loss) and still find himself in the doghouse because the one loss was against the Wolverines? Ask John Cooper. He did that twice.

Cooper coached the Buckeyes from 1988 to 2000. He replaced Earle Bruce, who had the onerous task of following Woody Hayes. Bruce decamped to the University of Northern Iowa following a 6-4-1 season in 1987. His final game was a 23-20 win over the Wolverines in Ann Arbor. Bruce had already been fired before the game was played.

Enter Cooper, brought in from Arizona State to turn things around. Which he did. In 1988 his Buckeyes were 4-6-1 and lost to Michigan, 34-31. Things got a little better from there, as Coop made the Buckeyes a consistent eight-win team. That's pretty good in most places other than Columbus. The Michigan thing became a problem, though, as Coop went winless in his first five games against That School Up North. 1993, however, would prove to be a breakthrough season for Cooper.

That year his team went 10-1-1. Guess who the one loss was to. 28-0.

The following season Coop actually got over on the Wolverines, 22-6 in Columbus. WIth the Michigan monkey finally off his back, Coop went on to ... uh ... lose another three in a row to UM. His second victory against the Wolverines came in 1998, a year Michigan was suffering from a national title hangover.

And that's it. In 13 seasons, Cooper was 2-10-1 against his school's archrival. Even if you're coaching at South Dakota State, that sort of a record against your sworn enemy will lead to a U-Haul parked in your driveway. Back-to-back 6-6 and 8-4 seasons had some influence on Cooper's departure, but don't think that his inability to beat Michigan had nothing to do with his firing.

Once Cooper left, OSU brought in Jim Tressel. In his first seven seasons, Tressel has gone 6-1 versus Michigan. Clearly, the man knows where his bread gets buttered.

Worst Moments in Big Ten Football History #7: John Cooper's Record Against Michigan originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Thu, 05 Jun 2008 13:50:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Tommy Tuberville Doesn't Think Very Highly of Ohio State

Adam Jacobi — Fri, 30 May 2008 17:53:00 EST

Filed under: Auburn Football, Ohio State Football, Big 10, SEC, NCAA FB Coaching

As boring as we fans find the offseason, imagine what hell it wreaks on a coach. Nine months of praying all your kids are going to class (they aren't), that 6'5" quarterback who runs a 4.6 will commit (he won't), and that the offensive line can get its act together (it can't).

Luckily, Auburn's frontman Tommy Tuberville has figured out a way to inject some life into the offseason: brutal potshots at rival conferences!

In advocating a playoff, Tuberville pointed to Ohio State losing by a wide margin in consecutive national championship games by SEC teams.
"Ohio State would have finished fifth in our league and they're ranked No. 1 in the preseason poll," Tuberville said.

Outrageous! Scandalous! Intellectually dishonest! We move that all SEC programs should reject and denounce Mr. Tuberville's remarks, as there's no way there's only four SEC teams better than the Buckeyes.

Fifth in the SEC. You must be crazy, Tuberville.

Tommy Tuberville Doesn't Think Very Highly of Ohio State originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Fri, 30 May 2008 17:53:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Worst Moments in Big Ten Football History #4: Ohio State Loses Back-To-Back Title Games

Mark Hasty — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:24:00 EST

Filed under: Florida Football, LSU Football, Ohio State Football, Big 10, BCS, NCAA FB History, Columbus

FanHouse is counting down the ten best, ten worst, and ten weirdest moments in Big Ten football history.

Yes, here's another moment you just knew was coming.

Anything I can possibly say about how awful it is that Ohio State lost back-to-back BCS Title Games must, of course, be tempered by the mandatory statement about how unbelievably hard it is to make it to one such game, let alone making it to two in a row. Thus if we're going to hail on the Buckeyes for giving a new layer of meaning to the term "epic fail," we owe them ... well, we owe them 50% of the respect we give to the early-90s Buffalo Bills. Or the same amount of respect we give to Bob Stoops' Oklahoma Sooners, who have the same resume (one title, back-to-back title game losses).

So you can't say the Buckeyes are bad, not even if you're an SEC fan, and you can't say that Jim Tressel isn't a very good coach. You can, however, wonder what went wrong. The answer: Lots. In both 2007 and 2008, the Buckeyes were undone by a combination of bad execution (which was within their control) and an imploding hype machine (which wasn't).

There was little question that the Buckeyes belonged in the 2007 title game. They were the #1 team in the nation for the entire season thanks to a very un-Tresselish, explosive offense. People were less sure that Florida belonged in the game; many were hoping for a rematch between Ohio State and Michigan.

(Remember the 2006 OSU/Michigan game? "#1 versus #2, in one of the most storied rivalries in college football history? " You don't remember it? Tune to your local ABC station. This game was so breathlessly overhyped it wouldn't surprise me if ABC was still running promos for it. )

Urban Meyer worked the media like he was running for president. Some poll voters listened. Others probably just didn't want a rematch. Florida got in; Michigan had to settle for the Rose Bowl, a place where they'd had their problems.

You know what happened. 41-14, and it wasn't that close. During the run-up to the 2007 season all eyes were on Columbus, and we heard about how the code to get into the Buckeyes' practice facility was '4114' (has anybody tried getting in with '3824' recently?) just so the players wouldn't forget the rank humiliation of getting pantsed by a team nobody really thought should be there.

Motivation is a good thing. It's a dang poor substitute for speed, though.

The good news about the 2008 title game is that this time the general consensus was that neither team really belonged there. LSU had lost twice, while the Buckeyes' berth was greeted with all the enthusiasm of yet another Atlanta Braves NL East pennant. It was supposed to be Mizzou versus West Virginia, but both those teams lost in their final games.

The Buckeyes went up early, 10-0, then proceeded to give up 31 straight points while their offense collapsed like day-old Dream Whip. OSU was 3 for 13 on 3rd down conversions, a lousy performance for any game but totally inexplicable in a title game. Did they not face a really good defense all season? Apparently not. They faced four ranked teams (including LSU) and only converted more than 50% of their third downs against Penn State. They were 5-14 against Purdue. Purdue! And that's why Jim Tressel looks like that in the picture above.

Santayana may have said "those who cannot remember the passed are doomed to repeat it," but mere remembrance isn't enough. You also have to change the present to avoid repeating the past.

Worst Moments in Big Ten Football History #4: Ohio State Loses Back-To-Back Title Games originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Thu, 15 May 2008 12:24:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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WV Newspaper Columnists Are S-M-R-T

Brian Cook — Tue, 13 May 2008 12:46:00 EST

Filed under: Michigan Football, Ohio State Football, West Virginia Football, Big 10

Cleveland Browns receiver and Michigan alumnus Braylon Edwards caused a minor internet meltdown in Michigan-land recently when he said he was mad at new Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez for giving the #1 jersey to an incoming freshman defensive back. Edwards had endowed a scholarship for the jersey, traditionally given to god-like wide receivers, that specifically prohibited any freshman from wearing the #1.

Every newspaper in West Virginia has three guys working the Rich Rodriguez beat; Bob Hertzel is one of them. And Bob Hertzel is very confused:

[The number #1] has belonged exclusively to a wide receiver since 1979, dating back to Chris Carter.

There is something wrong with this sentence: it's "Cris Carter." Oh, and here's a picture of the Wolverine legend donning the precious #1:

Oops.

WV Newspaper Columnists Are S-M-R-T originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 13 May 2008 12:46:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Worst Moments in Big Ten Football History #1: 1978 Gator Bowl

Mark Hasty — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:28:00 EST

Filed under: Clemson Football, Ohio State Football, Big 10, Bowl Games, NCAA FB History, Columbus

FanHouse is counting down the ten best, ten worst, and ten weirdest moments in the history of Big Ten football.

With the ten best moments accounted for, it's time to move on to the ten worst. There will be some silly moments on this list, and some moments which can best be described as "stupid," but there's only one moment which qualifies as senseless, and it's the closing moments of the 1978 Gator Bowl.

To set the stage: The Clemson Tigers were facing off against Woody Hayes' Ohio State Buckeyes. Late in the fourth quarter, OSU was trailing, 17-15. Quarterback Art Schlichter had to know the famous axiom attributed to Hayes, "There are three things that can happen when you throw the football, and two of them are bad." But the situation called for a pass, and Schlichter (a true freshman) tossed it where Clemson defender Charlie Bauman could catch it. Which he did. Bauman ran towards the near sideline, knowing that the Tigers just needed to run out the clock to lock up the victory. Unfortunately for Bauman, the near sideline was not his own.

He was met by Woody Hayes, a man in whom there was not an ounce of quit. If Hayes couldn't win this game (and he couldn't), he could at least let everybody know he wasn't happy about the outcome. Now, nobody would've blamed Hayes for being upset, or even for letting it show. The problem was in how he chose to display his anger: by punching Bauman in the chest, right there on the field, in front of thousands of people and ABC's cameras.

You'd have to be triple-distilled stupid to think that Woody Hayes was a bad coach. It's probably a close call between him and Michigan's Fielding Yost as to who was the greatest Big Ten football coach of all time. Hayes was at least the equal, if not the superior, of his contemporaries, legends like Bear Bryant, Bud Wilkinson, and Bob Devaney. It's unfair that the public memory of Hayes portrays him less as a coaching great and more like the Tasmanian Devil. However, even Hayes himself acknowledged that he had a rather short fuse. This was far from Hayes' first on-the-field incident, though his rage was usually targeted at camera operators and referees.

This, however, was a new low, even for Hayes, and it would have set a dangerous precedent if OSU had done nothing. Shortly after the team returned to Columbus, Hayes was fired.

While it wasn't a popular move in Columbus, what choice did they have? Woody spun his firing by noting, "Nobody despises to lose more than I do. That's got me into trouble over the years, but it also made a man of mediocre ability into a pretty good coach." Some of that was false humility, however. Hayes' abilities were far beyond mediocre, and he knew it. Likewise, there's a world of difference between hating to lose and displaying poor sportsmanship. We can admire Hayes' tenacity, but who among us would teach our kids to imitate his example?

And that's what's so senseless about the Gator Bowl incident. Woody Hayes didn't need to be a loose cannon to be a great football coach. It's unfair that his punching Charlie Bauman has become the lasting image of his 25-year tenure in Columbus. Unfair, but fitting, because he crossed a line he knew he shouldn't have crossed.

Worst Moments in Big Ten Football History #1: 1978 Gator Bowl originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 12 May 2008 12:28:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Best Moments in Big Ten Football History #10: Air Superiority, 1980

Mark Hasty — Tue, 06 May 2008 10:51:00 EST

Filed under: Iowa Football, Ohio State Football, Big 10, Purdue Football, NCAA FB History, Illinois Football

FanHouse is counting down the 10 best, 10 worst, and 10 weirdest moments in Big Ten football history.

The phrase "three yards and a cloud of dust" was coined to describe Big Ten football, and it's still a fairly apt description of the conference's beefy, run-first mentality. That is not to say, however, that the forward pass is still a novelty in the Big Ten. Indeed, some pretty good quarterbacks have come out of the conference. A guy in New England comes to mind, for instance.

There was one particular day, though, when everything truly went berserk. That day was November 8, 1980. On that Saturday afternoon, the Big Ten's record for the most passing yards in a single game was broken not once but twice. In fact, not only was the conference's single-game passing record broken, so was the NCAA's. Even more improbably, two other national passing records were broken that day, though not by Big Ten quarterbacks.

Was there something in the air that day? Well, duh. Footballs were in the air. Everywhere.

The story of the Big Ten's pass-wackiest day ever begins in West Lafayette, where the Purdue Boilermakers ground the Iowa Hawkeyes into McNuggets, 58-13. Purdue's signal-caller, Mark Herrmann, was brilliant, passing for 423 yards in the victory.

Now, 423 yards is a good day for any quarterback. Even today just about any team would take that performance, especially in a 45-point victory. And Herrmann did break the old Big Ten single-game passing record. Had anybody been watching SportsCenter back in 1980 (okay, I was watching), Herrmann's great day might well have been the biggest story of the day. But you should've seen what happened in Columbus that same afternoon.

The Buckeyes were hosting Illinois that day in a true defensive slugfest. OSU wound up winning 49-42, but their victory was not the real story of the game. Even in defeat, it was hard to ignore what Illini quarterback Dave Wilson did. After the Illini struggled through the first half, trailing 28-7, Wilson picked apart Ohio State's secondary like a Rottweiler chewing on a t-bone. He wound up throwing for six touchdowns and an almost impossible to imagine 621 yards in the Illini's furious rally.

Wilson's great day obviously set a conference single-game record, but also broke the NCAA record for the most passing yards in a game. Wilson's record would stand for another eight seasons, and still stands as the sixth best game of all time.

But there were other great things happening that day as well. In Washington, Tom Flick completed more than 94% of his passes (16 out of 17) in a 45-22 win over Arizona. Even that, though, wasn't the most amazing passing story of the day. For that you had to drive down I-5 to Portland, where Neil Lomax had a pretty good day. His Portland State Vikings were playing the Delaware State Hornets, or at least playing with them. PSU wound up winning 105-0. Lomax threw for eight touchdowns, which is freakish. Even more amazing is that he threw seven of those touchdowns in the first quarter.

Lomax's great day got all the attention in the press. Let's face it; it's hard to ignore a 105-0 football game. But we may never again see a day when two passers in the same conference break the single-game yardage record. November 8, 1980 was a great day for football fans (like me) who can watch a wide-open passing attack all afternoon long.

Best Moments in Big Ten Football History #10: Air Superiority, 1980 originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 06 May 2008 10:51:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Jim Tressel's Got a Wizard Hat of His Own

Brian Cook — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:24:00 EST

Filed under: Michigan Football, Ohio State Football, Big 10

You're probably tired of the hot topic in the Big Ten this offseason: does a gentleman's agreement to not recruit other conference schools' verbal commitments exist?

Joe Tiller thinks so even though a few years back he lifted Michigan tight end Garrett Bushong from Michigan State; he thinks this mostly because Rich Rodriguez came into town and snatched Ohio wide receiver Roy Roundtree from under his nose. Tiller went nuts, derided "wizard hats and snake oil," and they were off.

Jim Tressel was asked about this gentlemen's agreement and took what might have been a shot at Rodriguez when he claimed that agreement was in effect "only among the gentlemen." Then he yoinked a kid named Melvin Fellows:

The Garfield Heights defensive end informed Tressel that he was switching his oral commitment from Illinois to the Buckeyes, delivering a blow to the Illini and bringing OSU's growing class to 12 pledges.

By my calculations, the gentleman count in the Big Ten stands at zero.

Jim Tressel's Got a Wizard Hat of His Own originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:24:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Best Moments in Big Ten Football History #2: Archie Griffin's Two Heismans

Mark Hasty — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:34:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, Big 10, Heisman, NCAA FB History, Columbus

FanHouse is counting down the 10 best, 10 worst, and 10 weirdest moments in Big Ten football history.

As with yesterday's "best moment," here's another accomplishment you'd think somebody would have duplicated at some point. But no. Archie Griffin won the Heisman Trophy in 1974 and 1975. He's the only person (so far) to win it more than once.

It might be difficult to overstate just how good Archie Griffin was. He started for four years, and, not surprisingly, his freshman year was his least productive. He ran for only 1,428 yards that year on 159 attempts.

While Griffin would never again get close to averaging 8.9 yards a carry, that was only because Woody Hayes realized #45 needed to get the ball a lot more often. In 1973 the Buckeyes changed from a T-formation offense to an I-formation, and Griffin carried the ball 100 more times than he had in 1972. He was fifth in the Heisman voting that season.

1974 and 1975 brought more of the same for Griffin and OSU. His numbers were too great for Heisman voters to overlook. Both years he won the award by more than 1,000 points. Those weren't the most lopsided wins in Heisman history but they weren't far from it. Yet, as amazing as it may sound, winning two Heismans might not be Griffin's most unimaginable accomplishment.

He is the only person ever to start in four Rose Bowls.

I mean, think about it. The next two-Heisman guy just might come along in about eight months, unless Tim Tebow takes a huge step back in the upcoming season. But who's ever going to start in the Rose Bowl four times? Oh, and it's a good bet that Griffin's 31 consecutive games where he rushed for at least 100 yards is an untouchable record as well. These days highly talented running backs don't even play 31 games in college, it seems.

Griffin was less successful in the NFL, as Heisman winners often are. He spent seven seasons with the Bengals where he averaged 400 yards and but a single rushing touchdown per season. Small matter. The Heisman is not for the best NFL prospect; it's (theoretically) for the best player in college football. There is little question that Archie Griffin was the quintessential college football player of the mid-1970s and one of the greatest of all time.

Best Moments in Big Ten Football History #2: Archie Griffin's Two Heismans originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:34:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Big Ten Market Letter

Mark Hasty — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 11:42:00 EST

Filed under: Iowa Football, Minnesota Football, Ohio State Football, Big 10

Is your pension coughing up dust? Does the ATM say "You must be joking" whenever you try to make a withdrawal? Starting to wish you hadn't taken out that line of credit at First Consolidated Home Mortgage and Bait Shop? Be not afraid. There are still some tremendous bargains to be had in Big Ten football ... and some dangerous pitfalls for the unwary investor. It's still five months until the start of football season, but now is the time for you to do your due diligence on the opportunities available in Big Ten football this fall. Here's my list of buys, sells, and holds for 2008.

BUY: Minnesota. Now, let's get one thing clear. I'm not saying you should buy them as a potential 2008 Big Ten champion. I'm not even saying you should buy them as a bowl team. What I am saying is that they're bound to improve over their 1-11 record in 2007. The Gophers were a very young team last year who endured a lot of blowout losses but seemed to get better as the season went on. Too, they were in their share of really close games that just didn't go their way. But there's an X factor at work in 2008.That X factor is former Duke head coach Ted Roof, who may have bombed out as a head coach, but is a pretty decent defensive coordinator, the role he now plays for the Gophers. If he can make the Gopher D come together, Tim Brewster's team should see a significant reversal of fortune.

Of course, the jury's still out on Brewster himself. He has proven he can recruit, but he has yet to prove he can coach. We just haven't seen enough from Brewster to know if he's going to make Minnesota forget they fired Glen Mason. With the kind of talent Brewster is bringing to Minneapolis, though, things have to turn around a little. I hope he succeeds, though. The national media really needs to discover Tim Brewster. The guy is just dripping with hipness, and, thanks to his unusually deep and resonant voice, Brewster's press conferences are kind of entertaining.

HOLD: Ohio State's national reputation. I'm sure there's some sort of guideline for the poll voters about how they're supposed to rank the teams based solely on their performance this season, without regard for past results. I expect that advice to be completely ignored this season by voters who will do anything they can to prevent the Buckeyes from making it to a third straight BCS Title Game. And they may have a point. Sure, the Buckeyes will travel to Southern Cal this season; give them credit for being one of the few Big Ten teams to schedule a meaningful non-conference game. The rest of the schedule is a little lame, though, with the hardest road trip being Wisconsin on October 4. So I look for the Bucks to be 10-1 heading into the Michigan game ... and ranked no higher than 4th in the human polls.

SELL: Kirk Ferentz. Dang it, I've been a Hawkeye fan since I learned what football was, so it pains me to write this, but it's true. After a third consecutive season with at least five losses, and an offense that never made anything positive happen, and so many off-the-field incidents that Ferentz was forced to bring in SuperNanny to keep a lid on things, I think it's fair to say the pressure is on the good Captain. I am not sure he's up to the challenge.

His offensive scheme worked really well when he had an offensive line featuring three future NFL starters, and Dallas Clark faking out linebackers all over the place. Now the O-line has gone from Iowa's greatest asset to one of its biggest liabilities. Wait, isn't the O-line Ferentz's specialty? Sure, but there's a big difference between the results Ferentz got when Joe Philbin (now the Packers' offensive coordinator) was coaching the line, and the results Ferentz is getting now that Philbin is gone.

I don't know that Ferentz will get fired for another mediocre season. I'm not sure they can afford to fire him. If things don't improve this season, though, he'll be expected to make some staff changes, which is something he really doesn't want to do. So I'm saying "sell now."

(NOTE: You cannot actually invest in any of these things. Past performance is no guarantee of future results, which you think would be obvious to anybody who follows college football. Consult your financial advisor, your physician, and a licensed counselor before investing. Anyone who would take financial advice from this author is certain to get what he or she deserves.)

Big Ten Market Letter originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 11:42:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Ohio State Plans to Keep Losing to SEC Long After You've Passed Away

Adam Jacobi — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:05:00 EST

Filed under: Ohio State Football, Tennessee Football, Big 10, SEC, The Word

Octogenarians and above, feel free to disregard the following information, as it cannot possibly affect you: the Ohio State Buckeyes and Tennessee Volunteers have just finalized plans to play a home-and-home series.

In light of their recent ineptitude against SEC opponents, this would appear to be a foolish decision on Ohio State's part; the Buckeyes haven't beaten an SEC team since 1988. That win against LSU was their only victory against the SEC since well before WWII. Meanwhile, Ohio State is still winless against the same conference in bowl games, all nine losses coming within the last 30 years. So yes, SEC speeeeeeed! and all that.

But fear not, Bucknuts: All of that is ancient history, completely worthless. Why? Because the games won't even be played for another decade. Yes, the athletic departments at both Ohio State and Tennessee have taken the unusually presumptive stance that Earth as we know it will still exist 10 years from now, Manbearpig be damned, and scheduled the series for 2018 and 2019.

This gives the Buckeyes 10 years to figure out how to slow down an SEC opponent (Answer: tasers. Dozens of them. Five on Percy Harvin alone) and once again be competitive in a game that is creeping past them like a glacier--slow, but totally unstoppable. Meanwhile, quarterbacks will be able to see probabilities in their Lexan visor, and 25-yard end zones, and... oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Still, 10 years is a long time for a football program to evolve (or, as with Nebraska, decompose), and entropy suggests that this matchup may bear little resemblence to its current state. And that's all assuming Skynet lets us keep playing football at all. Vicious haters, they.

Ohio State Plans to Keep Losing to SEC Long After You've Passed Away originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:05:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Departing OL Justin Boren's Father to Ohio State: 'Take My Son, Please'

Adam Jacobi — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:35:00 EST

Filed under: Michigan Football, Ohio State Football, Big 10, The Word

The Justin Boren transfer saga continues to get weird. Did we say weird? We mean weirder.

Boren, as you'll probably recall, announced his decision to transfer from the Michigan football program on Tuesday. He tendered his letter of resignation or whatever to the media the next day, and it contained all sorts of ominous, nonspecific statements against the program's best interests, including the following excerpts:

I regret leaving behind my friends and teammates, but I need to stand up for what I know is right.

Michigan football was a family, built on mutual respect and support for each other from Coach Carr on down. We knew it took the entire family, a team effort, and we all worked together. I have great trouble accepting that those family values have eroded in just a few months.

I saw Rich Rodriguez throw Jimmy Hoffa into an active volcano in 1975.

If you want to get technical, the last excerpt may not actually exist in Boren's statement, but his decision to cite "family values" certainly leaves plenty of suspicion in a reader's mind. Sunday Morning Quarterback speculates further, and it reads like the "Woodland Critter Christmas" episode of South Park. SMQ also notes that this situation may be more closely related to the extreme duress of the no-huddle spread offense Rodriguez is implementing and the two offensive linemen who have already left, but let's not get bogged down on facts here folks.

Of course, the "fun" doesn't stop there.

In today's Columbus Dispatch, Boren's father Mike seems to be actively campaigning for Boren to end up at... oh dear, Ohio State?

"Ohio State would be a good fit for Justin, and that's why he's not at Michigan anymore, because Michigan is not the right fit for him. ... I have not talked to Ohio State and I'm not sure about their situation. ... But would he go to Ohio State? Yes."

And who, pray tell, is this Buckeye sympathizer?

Mike Boren, who played under Bo Schembechler in the early 1980s

Oh. Well then.

The most curious aspect of the decision to court Ohio State is probably the scholarship situation. While it stands to reason that a starting sophomore offensive lineman at Michigan could probably name his new school and receive a scholarship offer, that can't be the case at OSU; Big Ten rules prohibit awarding scholarships to athletes transferring inside the conference.

Consider that. A former Wolverine would rather pay for his son to play at Ohio State than at Michigan for free. Ouch. We're fairly certain that Michigan fans' reaction to that scenario starts with F and rhymes with "Tuck you, buddy."

Naturally, it's far too early to advise said Michigan fans to buy one-way tickets to Fourandeightsville for 2008, but what they've got in place right now scarcely bears any resemblance to a football team that's ready to compete at a high level. Should they be concerned? Probably. Are they always concerned anyway? Well, yes. Now, for once, it might be justified.

Departing OL Justin Boren's Father to Ohio State: 'Take My Son, Please' originally appeared on NCAA Football FanHouse on Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:35:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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