Five Keys to an Irish Win Over USC

Thursday night, there was a sign taped to the front door of the Gug, the Gothic architectural wonder that is the Notre Dame football headquarters. The sign had a photo of a mob of Notre Dame students on the football field (a black-and-white shot, aptly, considering how long it has been) and read, in part, "We believe. Go Irish, Beat USC. See you on the field after the game on Saturday."

Just inside that door I picked up a copy of The Observer, in which all four student prognosticators on the newspaper's staff predicted a Trojan win. Journalists. They have no heart.

Anyway, here are my five keys for an Irish upset, because that indeed is what it would be:

1) Forget da' funk, but do bring in da' noise: The on-campus film Thursday night was the recent guitar-rock doc "It Might Get Loud", and I can only assume that some subliminal campaigning was taking place. The current undergraduate student body at Notre Dame, with the exception of the five-year architecture majors, have never witnessed a truly epic battle at Notre Dame Stadium. Sure, they've witnessed close games -- entirely too many, and against unranked opponents -- but only one Top-10 opponent has visited since the Bush Push game, and that was No. 4 Boston College in 2007 (a 27-14 loss).

Notre Dame Stadium must be Jack White-level rocking from the opening snap. If anything, the students can begin to atone for their sorry display during November's Syracuse game.

2) Drop a safety down: Matt Barkley is going to be a Heisman candidate some day, but not this season. He is a true freshman playing in the coldest conditions he has yet to experience. We all know what tailback Joe McKnight and his back-ups can do. The Irish must drop down Kyle McCarthy or Harrison Smith into the proverbial box and compel USC to air it out.

3) Use Hughes: By now everyone knows the stat that says the Irish are 18-0 under Charlie Weis when outrushing an opponent. 3-0 may be a coincidence. 11-0 may be time to appoint a Congressional study. But 18-0? Don't question the data, just do it. Armando Allen is tailback numero uno, but Robert Hughes (and James Aldridge) are bigger bodies who, when the mood strikes them, run mean. You'd think this would be such a time.

Notre Dame is not quicker than USC. This has to be a north-south game for the offense. Notre Dame's veteran offensive line seeks redemption against the Trojans more than any other unit on this team. Running plays between the tackles afford them the best chance to do so.

4) Make a play: The Irish have yet to score this season off a defensive turnover or via special teams play. They have yet to block a punt. Such plays stoke a crowd as well as a sideline (just ask Rocket Ismail, who will speak at the rally du pep tonight). This would be a terrific time for the Irish to make such a play ... not to mention that they cannot afford to give away a touchdown, such as they did to Washington two weeks ago on the ill-advised screen/lateral play.

5) Believe: Jimmy Clausen and Eric Olsen, half of the Notre Dame captain crew, have never seen a tape of the 1988 Miami-Notre Dame game. At least they had not as of Wednesday. They need to, as do their teammates. The '88 Hurricanes strutted into South Bend with so much more talent -- and especially, confidence -- than these Trojans have, and somehow an Irish team that was not as talented as this one is offensively ended the Canes' 36-game win streak.

It was Jerry Seinfeld who famously uttered, "You're cheering for laundry." The Irish have to remember that the Trojans are no different than any other talented football team, it's just that their cellphones may have more agents' phone numbers programmed in.

Digger Phelps famously had his hoops team cut down the nets on the eve of their '74 game against UCLA when the Bruins came into town with an 88-game win streak. I doubt Weis had his players tear down the goalposts at the end of Thursday's practice, but between now and 3:42 PM Saturday he must do something to infuse them with the belief that they can accomplish this.

Losing is easy. Winning is hard. It's simple, but it's true. The two sorriest words in sports -- beyond the T-ball level-- are "Nice try." It's been 16 years -- the '93 win against No. 1 Florida State -- since the Irish merited any words better than that at home against a truly elite opponent. That's a lifetime to the players and student body.