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Mark May Cannot Grasp Concepts Like Math

1/08/2009 10:03 PM ET By Brian Cook

    • Brian Cook
Don't know if anyone's watching the ESPN halftime show, which is sort of like MTV's annual attempt to steal viewers during the Super Bowl halftime, except instead of hot gyrating babes you get Lou Holtz and Mark May. But Holy Lord if you're not, keep on watching whatever hot gyrating babes you've locked your radar onto.

I bring it up because May, being Mark May, made the dumbest argument I've heard tonight: Oklahoma shouldn't have gone for it on fourth and one from the Florida one. "Take the points." Etc etc etc. The usual inane chatter.

I mean, even if you subscribe to the floofy, mathematically wrong theory that you should accept whatever points you can get, you have to acknowledge that a 46-yard run from the two can lead to a punt while a 46-yard run from the 30 -- about where Florida would have gotten the ball back after a kickoff -- is going to lead to a field goal on your face at the very least, at which point you've just given back those precious three points you got.

In conclusion: Mark May should be a Wal-Mart greeter.

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