Lou Holtz Proposition Bets for the College Football Junkie

Prop Bets for the College Football Junkie is a weekly post that cares not for your silly point spreads. If you have the money and the gumption, we'll lay down a weekly gauntlet of propositions that'll take you from the penthouse to the outhouse faster than you can guess the number of times Lee Corso will say "not so fast my friend." As always, this is for entertainment purposes only.

$ Lou Holtz has put his foot in his mouth each of the last two weeks in the controlled environment of the studio. So what does ESPN do? Not suspend him for saying basically the same thing Jemele Hill said. No, they put him in front of a mic for three hours for the Thursday night game between West Virginia and Auburn. If there was ever a "give him enough rope" move by a broadcasting company, this is it. So naturally, we put the straight up bet to you loyal reader. Will Lou Holtz say something inflammatory? Yes, West Virginia jokes count!

$ Lets go with this. Let's say his does get suspended or fired. I'm not advocating it, because I enjoy him in his natural state or doing the pep talks. But let's face it, ESPN will have to do something if he has another slip up. Here's a multiple choice straight up bet that one of the following will happen if Holtz is fired:

-Mark May's perceived IQ will drop 50 points automatically.

-Trev Alberts will walk back into the Bristol studios with a "show me the money" look on his face.

-Regis Philbin will show interest, but someone will mention that the last guy was a Notre Dame guy.

$ Continuing with the same theme, Holtz won't sit idle for long. NBC would probably love to have him doing commentary on Notre Dame games. So we put the over/under on the number of times NBC will ask him to tone down the homerism in the first month at 10.

Quick Hitters:

$ Number of "they wanna fire me" stories Bill Stewart and Tommy Tuberville will exchange before the game +/- 10.

$ When Duke plays Vanderbilt, the average GPA on the field at any time will be +/-3.85. Oddly, that's the over/under for the total points for this game as well.

$ Houston Nutt makes his return to Arkansas with Ole Miss on Saturday. Number of "we miss you and all your wins" signs +/-30.

$ Number of times Rich Brooks will looks around the Swamp and say, "man I wish our fans were like this" +/-10.