Lawyer Details How Badly Duke Football Sucks

Yes, the decision came a while ago. It's worth revisiting, though, with the release of video from the hearing where attorneys for Duke successfully argued that Duke shouldn't have to pay Louisville damages for backing out of a game because Duke is so bad that anyone they got to takes Duke's place would be equal if not a better team (Hat tip to Lion in Oil).



This is beyond awesome. Just laying out to the judge how bad Duke football is.

What I'd love to have seen was when Duke's legal counsel went to the athletic director and school president with the plan.
Duke Lawyer: I think I have a way out of having to pay the $150,000 Louisville says we owe them for breaking the agreement.

President: Fantastic.
AD: How?

Duke Lawyer: We suck.

AD: What?

President: Pardon?

Duke Lawyer: We lay out the facts of how dismal the history and present state of the football program. We make it very clear that finding a replacement opponent was not a hardship.

President: So, we insult and diminish our program and our players and if we win, it becomes a court judgment that Duke football is the worst?

Duke Lawyer: Which is more important: the money or the embarrassment?

AD: ...

President: So, we suck you say.