The Petulant Graduate looks at worst aspects of college football from a post-educational, snarky attitude. Really, it's just an excuse to use "petulant".The PG is late this week because the graduate in question was stupid enough to become said graduate and end up in a situation that might at some point require working on the weekends. Thus, he was unable to watch ECU demolish West Virginia or NCSU squeak by Bill and Mary. But Florida - Miami? Hoo boy!
1. The Celebration Penalty
I don't even have to say anything about "Washington and BYU" -- the phrase above makes it pretty clear. I'm not sure what can be said that hasn't been said already, but I thought Grummell phrase, "raw emotion and boundless energy of the players and coaches", re: the college game summed up the stupidity of such a rule pretty well. Regardless of whether or not the actual celebration in question was over the top or not, getting penalized in that situation for anything short of throat slash is just ridiculous.
Look, touchdown celebrations have gotten out of hand in recent years, and Chad Ocho Cinco and Terrell Owens becoming more famous as a result hasn't exactly helped matters. But the fact remains that when you score in football, professional or otherwise, you're excited. You don't set the ball down and simply roll along. So grow up, NCAA and get rid of this rule now. Please.
2. The "Marquee" Matchup
Maybe we were spoiled because Clemson - Alabama was on during the first week of the season (although that was still another ACC Failjob), but it did seem a little lame to have the premiere game of the second week of college football revolve around a rivalry that used to be great but is now lame because Miami's not good. It makes sense to have them play each other every year -- for some reason Florida hadn't won in 23 years and the teams hadn't squared off since 2004 -- based simply on geographical proximity, but it makes no sense to have that be the top game of the year when obviously it's not going to be a great one. See: Florida, -21, and a cover.
3. Arkansas and Notre Dame Winning
Call me mean spirited, call me spiteful, call me ridiculous for pulling against a school simply because of their coach. Whatever. There would have been nothing better than seeing Bobby Petrino, new coach of the Razorbacks and pig-sound-noise maker, lose to Louisiana-Monroe. We hear all about the SEC and that's fine -- I can live with the conference's well deserved reputation and don't even care about harming that. What I do care about seeing harmed is Petrino's reputation as being any sort of person of any sort of authority; the guy straight up ditched the Atlanta Falcons during his tenure there. I just need Charlie Weis to fail so Skip Holtz will roll out of Greenville.
4. Tim TebowLook. I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm getting to the "Favre Point" (which is like something Malcolm Galdwell would come up with but less smart sounding) with Tebow. I know he's a great guy. I know he's extremely religious. I know that he's an amazing football player. I know that his girlfriend has large mammalian glands. Okay, actually I don't mind that last part, but only because ESPN hasn't beaten it into the ground over and over and over and over and over and over, like they have with everything else remotely related to Tebow.
And that's not to say that we should avoid discussing Tebow's good societal acts. It's just that ESPN has this fixation on particular storylines -- the type of ti
5. National Television H-J's at the UTEP Game
Um, people, what are you thinking. I mean, young lady, I'm sure you're somewhat inebriated but still ... you're on a rock on national television. Keep it in your pants. (Seriously, though, I can't stop laughing/watching this.)
