Quarterbacks Dropping Like Flies at UCLA

Pat Cowan has actually never been photographed upright. He's always hurt.

We're not sure how Rick Neuheisel envisioned his new team's first season, but it's safe to assume that his ideas all included a decent quarterback at the helm. That, as it turns out, may prove to be presumptuous. The football gods were cruelly rapacious on Thursday, as two Bruins quarterbacks suffered significant injuries.

First, starter Pat Cowan went down with a likely severe knee injury. The to-be-senior had to be carted off, and offensive coordinator Norm Chow thinks he's toast. When asked if he expected the worst, Chow responded, "Oh, yeah....The way he went down. We've got to wait it out. I'm just telling you my opinion."

"How sure am I that he's done for the year? Well, molten lava came out of his knee after he hurt it, then a sword impaled him," Chow added.*

On the very next play, senior (citizen) playcaller Ben Olsen planted awkwardly and broke a bone in his foot. And lava came out of that too.**

Olsen should be healthy in plenty of time for the season, but UCLA was down to three quarterbacks for last night's spring game. Only converted wideout Osaar Rasshan has thrown a pass in NCAA play thus far (an underwhelming 17-of-45 last season), so it's safe to assume that the Bruins are eagerly anticipating Olsen's recovery.

A word of warning to Neuheisel: Olsen and Cowan both suffered through health problems last season as well, and the resulting 6-6 season was enough to get Karl Dorrell fired. We're not saying UCLA's itching for another firing this soon, but we are suggesting that the sooner you put Cowan and Olsen on a rocketship and send them into deep space, the sooner you can start building your franchise around a quarterback who won't splinter into a thousand pieces every time the wind blows.

*technically, Chow didn't say any of that, but it'd be great if he did.
**again, technically false, but a boy can dream.