If You Have a Job, Terry Bowden Would Like It

Poor Southern Miss fans must have had a heart attack when the Clarion Ledger ran a piece titled "USM Notes: Terry Bowden Would Like To Coach," envisioning the squeaky dwarf late of ABC prowling the sidelines in Hattiesburg.

Fortunately for cardiologists near the Arkansas border, the contents of that article are mercifully unrelated to USM. See, Bowden wants to coach you, no matter who you are or what you play:

"All I would want to say is that I'm very interested in any program where I feel like I would be a good fit, where there was a need I could fill," Bowden said. "If that means a place that has never won seven games before, then I'd like to help them win seven games. If that means a place that has never won a championship before, then I'd like to help them a win a championship."

Have a football program? Of any sort whatsoever? Or, I guess, like volleyball or something? Whatever! Terry Bowden's your man.

He'd be perfect for the Unversity of Phoenix Phoenixes (We're From Pheonix! Or the Internet!), which is a fake team my friends and I made up that travels around the country getting its teeth kicked in by local rivals -- the University of Phoenix is everywhere and therefore local rivals with everyone -- for 500k a pop. Since winning is no object, Bowden would be perfect.

(HT: EDSBS.)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

11-30-2007 @ 6:07PM

Carla Pettis said...

Really love your football program? Then stay as far away from Terry Bowden as you can possibly get. He's about as good a football coach as I am a jet pilot. Be afraid, be very afraid, if he ever takes on your head coaching job. LOSER.

11-30-2007 @ 6:18PM

One more thing before I go...can you please find a picture of the little munchkin wearing something other than an Auburn cap? It brings back some really BAD memories!

11-30-2007 @ 8:36PM

beetee said...

Carla, did he not do well at Auburn and even had a undefeated season?

11-30-2007 @ 11:18PM

Jim said...

Beetee--- He did very well with Pat Dye's recruits that he had trained and turned over to the "Pee Wee" Bowden..

Did very well with the lady there too, then was caught and ran off. Did more scoring off field than on after Dye's recruits left too.

12-01-2007 @ 9:31AM

fred said...

Have we not all made mistakes? And Carla, did Dye himself not make the gravest of mistakes in college football? Dye was a cheater, plain and simple. By the way, the great coach he was, he couldn't win with his own damn recruits (does 5 and 6 ring a bell?). Like it or not, Terry Bowden is a part of Auburn history, just like John Heisman is. He's more football coach than tommy tuberville could ever wish to be. Maybe he isn't as organizational as tuberville, but a better coach. By the way, which other coaches in NCAA history have won 20 straight games?

12-02-2007 @ 9:55AM

Well, being a Bama fan i can certainly understand that Carla.But at least he didn't leave the program in shambles and get you on probation as Mike Dumbose did bama.He was also a playa in his own right.Of course i guess it's true what woman say....look's aren't everything....lol! A little short dough boy and a pot bellied short armed man must've had something to attract all these women!

12-01-2007 @ 1:19PM

Charlie said...

Fred, are you serious? Bowden, a better coach than Tubs? Let's not confuse him with his daddy! He did have two good years. Tubs has consistently had good years. He wasn't involved in any scandals yet either. Oh yeah, BTW, Tubs has beaten Bama 6 times in a row. Something Bowden couldn't do. I respect Bowden, but to say he was better than Tubs, HAHAHA!

12-02-2007 @ 2:16PM

Todd92 said...

Carla should get her facts straight or vacate the blog for more informed AU almni. Bowden's only crime at AU was to try and buck the Lowder regime. He refused to be a "yes" man for the imp. The rest is just fodder for the rumor mill which the gullible digest with ease (yes that means you Carla). And just remind me Carla......What was Dyes best year at AU with Dyes recruits? Also for the common response that he couldnt recruit, count the NFL players that were recruited by Bowden while on probation from the Dye regime. Bowdens Final two years were a product of the probation and lack of depth from the Ramsey debaucle. You think Bowden had gag order on him to protect him from saying he had an affair with Lowders daughter? Don't be so naive. You think Dye is still a paid consultant to the president because of the valuable assistance he provides? Uh, yeah, right. The truth is Bowden was the right coach at the wrong time and/or place. The truth is Lowder is AU's napoleanic problem and Bowden thought he could buck his power. The truth is AU would have benefitted from Bowden staying. The truth is you swallow what crap has been fed to you by the minority old guard at AU (like many others who revile Lowder yet buy into the crap that benefits Lowders wishes).