Assorted Facts About Michigan

Earlier today my FanHouse colleague, and unabashed Notre Dame hater, Brian Cook, published a post with assorted facts about Notre Dame. Seeing as how I'm a Notre Dame fan, nothing he told me was news to me. I know we suck this year. I know we haven't won a bowl game since I was 13 years old. I'm a fan, I watch the damn team instead of focusing all my time watching the teams I hate. It's an odd approach to supporting your team, I know, but it's just the way I is.

Still, I couldn't sit idly by and let Cook get away with it, so without further ado, here are some random facts about Michigan.

They lost at home to Appalachian State this season, a D2 team, and thereby destroyed all underserved hype about a national championship.
Michigan is currently ranked 96th in the nation in passing yards per game at 178.5 yards per game. Putting them behind such powerhouses as Middle Tennessee St, UTEP, Temple, and Idaho. Hell, they're only fourth in the state of Michigan behind MSU, Western Michigan, and Central Michigan.
At 2-2 the Wolverines have the same record as Eastern Michigan, a team that won only one game last season.
Michigan wide receiver LaTerryal Savoy will show you his penis for a dollar.
Mike Hart's favorite movie is Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
Michigan hasn't beaten Ohio State since 2003.
Michigan produced the boringest President ever in Gerald Ford, as he just edges out Chester A. Arthur.
An anagram for Michigan is Ham Icing, which probably helps explain the appearance of the University's co-eds.
Chad Henne records every episode of Grey's Anatomy, and watches it with the entire offensive line before every game.
Lloyd Carr funds Al-Qaeda.
On his deathbed, Bo Schembechler admitted to having a lifelong crush on Woody Hayes.

Now I can't prove that all of these are true, but you can't prove they aren't either! Feel free to add your own Assorted Facts in the comments.

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

9-28-2007 @ 7:26PM

Panger said...

Wow, Bo and Woody, didn't know that. So I guess Bo kicked the sideline markers along with the bucket.

9-28-2007 @ 9:52PM

matty blue said...

just a really, really lame effort, short on facts (unlike brian's post) and long on...well, not witticism, that's for sure.

kind of an "oh, yeah? well i slept with your wife" comeback. which is to say unimpressive. and lame.

9-28-2007 @ 10:50PM

Hugo Chavez said...

Right about App St. But one thing. Most people worth their salt also admit App St would beat a host of D1 teams including hapless Notre Shame. This doesn't excuse Mich's loss but that App St wasn't some hick team with no talent.

Right on #2, but with a rookie freshman QB playing two games. Henne sucked the first two games.

#3 Irrelevant at this point.

#4. Cheap shot. Savoy was found not guilty..lack of evidence. Besides, you never mentioned that you are pissed that you weren't there to offer to give him your special blow jobs.

#5. Mike Hart's favorite movie is Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and he's still more of a man than you are. Heck, Mike Hart can tuck his balls between his legs and act out the scene in Silence of the Lambs and he'll still be more manly than you.

#6 Here you are correct. This year will hopefully be celebration in favor of a UM victory of OSUCKU.

#7 You really are reaching for things that have nothing to do with football but oh well..no one will ever confuse you as being the witty one.

#8 Part true. First part....see #7. Second part, partly true at least when i was there UM women, in general, were not all that pretty to look at and mostly unfriendly, unless I taped a twenty to my KAWK.

#9 Interesting that you are using tranference of your favorite movie and tv shows and placing them onto Michigan players. It's ok to admit you like chick flicks and chick tv shows.

#10 LC funds Al Qaeda? If you want anyone to think you are a CLASS A RETARD, that is the line you'd want to use. Congrats, Tom! You just used a line that would make the most ardent UM haters despise you more than they hate UM.

#11 You are close..but Bo had respect for Woody, not a life long crush. A crush would explain your obsessive masturbation to pictures of Perez Hilton.

And don't they have editors here cuz no editor in his right mind would have posted the crap you just posted.

9-29-2007 @ 12:26AM

BlueSeoul said...

WEAK. and then add to the fact that ND lost by 38-0 for the second time to that team you were making fun of. And you're offering further proof that ND fans don't know anything about college football because app st. is not D2 MORON.

9-29-2007 @ 2:00AM

jbrons said...

Part of the point of this article was to show the lengths ND fans would have to go to to retaliate with a comparable article after the facts run out of steam. Anyway, I thought it was funny. Wish everyone else would lighten up.

9-29-2007 @ 8:41AM

Jason said...

"boringest"?! how about most boring you illiterate monkey....Kinda proves a point here I think.

9-29-2007 @ 10:27AM

SlaunchaMan said...

App State is not a DII team. They're DI FCS, formerly known as DI-AA.

9-29-2007 @ 11:33AM

bill said...

brokeback mountaineers
go bulls
not fsu not maimi-best 2 teams in fla are the gators and da bulls

9-29-2007 @ 12:43PM

spencer096 said...

come on people take a joke. you realize that he just posted pretty much the same thing you all did, its just hes an ND fan. chill out.

you're all acting like lloyd carr.

...go bucks.

10-01-2007 @ 10:10AM

steph44 said...

HI LAR IOUS how angry and offensive Michigan fans get when you make fun of their precious Wolvertines but have absolutely no shame when it comes to talking shit about OSU or ND.

What kind of battery does a Wolverine use?
1 double a