UVA vs. Wyoming: Atrocity Exhibition

This is the way, step inside...You know, I feel as if I probably don't have much room to complain seeing as how 85% of the internet apparently went to the University of Michigan, but if you can find a team that was more pathetic than Virginia this past Saturday, I'm all ears.

I've spoken to a few of my UVA friends about which supposed nadir this Saturday's 23-3 loss to Wyoming most resembled, and in the process, the following were brought up: FSU '04, UNC '05, Western Michigan '06, VT '05, the Humanitarian Bowl of '04 to name a few. So there you have it: at the very least, five low points in the past three years. Yesterday played like a compendium of all the above, as Al Groh continues to bomb atomically on the road. Socrates, philosophies and hypotheses cannot define how he and his son be droppin' these mockeries on offense. Below the fold, five bullet points before I start choking on my own rage...

• Perhaps the most painful part of watching Wyoming was that they performed like UVA thought they were supposed to this season. Like the Cavaliers, the Cowboys suffered through a season where they relied on youth, developing an unheralded but very effective defense (9th in the NCAA in 2006) and seeing growth from a southpaw QB who spent the offseason undergoing surgery. That said, TCU better not order that MWC just yet, because as bad as Virginia played, Wyoming is a legit team.
  

• Jameel Sewell is either still injured or he's going to get Al Groh fired. Groh basically gave up on 2006 being anything other than a rebuilding year by handing the keys over to Sewell even though Kevin McCabe was a: clearly the QB who gave Virginia the best chance to win at the time and b: still eligible to play in 2007. Sewell didn't get a lot of help, but when a TV graphic showed he was 10-19 at one point, the crowd at Q's in Brentwood acted like they just saw a "Dewey Defeats Truman"-level typo. He overthrew his TE's badly and was often reduced to throwing three-yard out patterns about five inches from either sideline. The highlight of the day was a screen-type pass to freshman Dontrell Inman (who looks like he has the jets to step up) who dashed for 14 yards, but it was on a 3rd and 18. Rarely did a third down pass go past the actual first-down marker, complete or incomplete. Though his play in 2006 inspired Aaron Brooks comparisons, if he doesn't heal or improve, we might be left with a more academically scrupulous Bryson Spinner. (I realize that comparing black QB's to other black QB's perpetuates stereotypes, but Dan Ellis, Matt Schaub and Christian Olsen had the mobility of spry dirigibles).
  

• Line of the game: 3-5, 15 yards. Now, those numbers would've probably represented Sewell's most effective drive of the game, but they were actually those of Pete Lalich, which, if I were a betting man, probably has the UVA faithful brandishing their pitchforks. Lalich may be the most touted QB prospect Groh's ever had, but once again, the supposed plan was that he could redshirt 2007 and apprentice under Sewell for two seasons and smoothly transition into Program Savior. Instead, by playing a handful of minutes in a game that was essentially over, Groh either admitted that 2006 was a ruse or that, really, Lalich is going to be playing some serious minutes because he's clearly the only other guy on the roster that gives UVA a chance to win. Of course, if he was thinking a little more creatively, he could've handed things over to...

• ...Vic Hall who set all manner of Virginia high school QB records before being transformed into a corner. Now, despite the effectiveness of Marques Hagans, UVA was probably not likely to give a 5'9" (wink-wink) guy another shot. What that also means is that you have a 5'9" cornerback who, all talent aside, probably shouldn't be isolated when it's obvious that a fade pattern in the red zone is in the offing, which is exactly what happened when Wyoming scored its first touchdown of the game.

• In accordance, I wondered during the offseason whether UVA's performance on defense was a result of their own excellence or their crap competition. I'm beginning to think the latter is the case; Karsten Sween looked like a superstar, and perhaps he is. It doesn't hurt, however, when UVA's defense played a Charminized zone that made me think they were up against mid-90's Florida State. Between five and twelve yards- whatever Wyoming wanted, they could have.

Fortunately (?), Virginia can work out the kinks against Duke next week.