Dan Hawkins Is The New John L Smith

The loss of John L Smith was a vicious blow to the community of people who love to sit around mocking various aspects of college football. (== me.) The self-slapping, exploding-at-halftime, Kilimanjaro-scaling Smith was a loose cannon around a microphone and God's gift to anyone bored with the same old coachspeak. But now he's gone. Fortunately for the chattering class, Dan Hawkins is poised to raise that freak flag high once again. The first indication was his infamous GO PLAY INTRAMURALS rant; now this Rocky Mountain News article indicates that the quixotic Colorado coach has the same taste for totally extreme action dear departed JLS did:

I went sky diving last offseason because . . .

"I wanted to be an example to our team to not be afraid to fail, to take a risk, to get out of their comfort zone."

I'm running a marathon this offseason in Australia because . . .

"Again, I'm trying to be an example of, 'Do the unthinkable, everything's possible, reinvent yourself by getting better.' It's all those concepts."

Continent hopping? Hilarious press conferences? A funky spread offensive system and a debatable ability to bring it to the big leagues? Oh, Dan, shave your head and slap yourself and I'll be yours forever.