See, way back in the weeks leading up to the BCS Championship game, Florida and Ohio State had a competition to see whose students could run more miles, and when the Gators triumphed, a statue of Albert the Gator was erected on campus. It doesn't take any modicum of intellect to figure out what happened next. Five hours later, Albert was capsized and being hacked to pieces like a Hussein obelisk after the fall of Baghdad. Sit back and enjoy the hilarity:
HT: Orson




















Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
2-16-2007 @ 7:14PM
Gary said...
Reminds me of the apes touching the monolith in the movie 2001, which is a terrifically accurate representation of OSU students.
Holy crap, a thought: what if it was an OSU student that first stumbled upon the Monolith; that is, the galvanizer of human evolution? Millions of years later would mankind be universally adorned in hunter's orange headware and speak only in a series of grunts and whistles? Would we all have the same amount of hair on our body as our ancient predecessors? Would evolution ACTUALLY HAVE OCCURED?!! Or would the alien race that placed the obselisk there come back, remove the rock, and move on to more fertile pastures?
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2-16-2007 @ 8:06PM
JCN said...
That Gator was provoking.
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2-16-2007 @ 8:20PM
Ryan Ferguson said...
Incidentally, it looks like a dump out there. Gainesville can spoil ya.
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2-16-2007 @ 9:01PM
Gary said...
Uh, let's be clear about some things here:
a) The state of Florida is not fooling most people: it is a swamp, you built shit upon a swamp, but it remains...a swamp. Swamps are cesspools, they filter waste and generally just muck up the areas around them. Florida can fall into the ocean.
b) Let's get onboard with what I like to call my "Social Trickle-Down Theorem": about 160 years ago the good citizens of the State of Michigan looked around and thought, "you know, we have a lot of unsavories in this here state," so they gathered up all of the criminals, thieves, and generally bad people and drove them over the southern border of this great state; hence the populations of Indiana and Ohio.
You see, Ohio is Michigan's Australia.
Well, some time later Indiana and Ohio looked around and thought, "Damn, we have a lot of bad people here" and - following the lead of there intellectual and thrifty Northern brethren (barely related) - they created what we now know as the population of Kentucky.
Kentucky eventually learned their own lesson and discarded their relatively unsavory individuals leaving us with Tennessee. Tennessee in about 20 years created Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia and - in time - those three states gave us...
Florida, the brine of the genetic barrel and source of the election debacle.
To further illustrate my point, every state listed above (with the exception of Michigan, of course) is responsible for the shame that our nation endured during the '04 election - though some began the slow journey back to righteousness in '06.
So, please, let's not get cocky about your crappy state, although I'll admit that several of your islands are quite nice.
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2-16-2007 @ 9:31PM
Ryan Ferguson said...
I flew professionally for awhile and I've toured (and stayed in) every state there is, nearly every major city, and most countries/continents, too. You'll never be able to convince me that your Ohio/Michigan/Illinois shitville comes close even to Florida's worst.
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2-16-2007 @ 9:51PM
J said...
What's wrong? Mad because the "brine of the genetic barrel" produced a team who whooped up on the team the Wolverine's failed beat?
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2-16-2007 @ 10:08PM
Gary said...
Hahaha, no J, that's not it at all - but you just go on and be smug, you get that right for 12 months and the Gators certainly earned it for you. I've disliked Florida since the first time I set foot into it, which was long before this year. Come to think of it, that's pretty shallow for you to believe that I developed a dislike for an entire state based upon one football game. I guess you must be a moron.
Gosh Ryan, you're right, those trailer parks that dot the landscape of Florida are far better than the Great Lakes, Traverse City, Ludington, G.R., Marquette, Mackinaw, and Ann Arbor (to name a few). I hardly think that if you traveled the continental U.S. you'd place Michigan that low. I'll agree with you on Ohio - there hardly a place more flat and boring (until you get to Southern Ohio).
Here's what I would suggest Ryan: flying into and out of airports does not qualify you to judge entire regions of this great nation; nor does hanging out in metropolitan areas. However, try criss crossing the nation for 3 1/2 years in a Honda CRX - covering 46 of the 48 continental states - and perhaps then you could get a feel for the lay of the land and more objectively place your state in relation to others.
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2-16-2007 @ 11:31PM
Andrew said...
Gare-bear's kinda being a little brusque about it, but I do agree: Florida's a shithole. When I went there I was struck by the feeling that humans were not meant to inhabit the place. It really feels like a swamp, pretty much the whole way through into southern Miami. I felt like I had typhoid fever or something the whole time I was there. Plus it was about 85 and humid. This was in October. I didn't feel better until our car was well into northern Georgia, escaping that place.
That said, I'm somehow still an Orlando Magic and Florida State Seminole fan. And I live in Indiana. Go figure.
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2-17-2007 @ 1:53AM
Marty said...
Albert STILL lasted longer than OSU did in the BCS Game. OSU was gone after 15 minutes.
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2-17-2007 @ 6:39AM
tom said...
Sounds like Gary's suffering from brain freeze from being cooped up in an igloo too long. Keep your Yankee ass up there. Last time I checked, the road goes both ways. Florida is either the third or fourth most populous state, I don't see Michigan in the top five, nor gaining. We love beating you ass with your "trash".
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2-17-2007 @ 8:24AM
Robert Butler said...
Gary and Ryan-You are both suffering from cerebral degeneration. Michigan can do that to you with all the exhaust fumes from a distraught auto industry. I think the Wolverines have lines on their helmuts to assist the players in learning how to put them on straight. Ryan, since you are stuck in the mosquito infested swampland, where everyone runs for the cover of an air conditioner 10 months out of the year, ( other 2 months spent collecting drinking water from hurricane's), I show slighty more mercy. Clark Gable, Arnold Palmer, Halle Berry, John Glenn, Joe Walsh, Elliott Ness and many others are proud Buckeye's! Gary and Ryan, you may be suffering from pre-menopausal symptoms.
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2-17-2007 @ 8:35AM
Robert Butler said...
Ryan-You said you flew for awhile? I hope it wasn't you dumped your splatter on my car. Come to think of it, it did sort of remind me of what Florida smells like! For all you poor people who have to reside in Florida, it must be tough to be surrounded by water on 3 sides and holding on for dear life to the border of Georgia for stability!! Wonder whar would happen if Georgia let go and let all you blowhards float endlessly in the Atlantic Ocean??
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2-17-2007 @ 8:58AM
Robert Butler said...
Ryan-What would happen if you put your head into the mouth of one of your alligators? The poor alligator would get a bad case of digestive gas and the global warming trend would be escalated by about 10 years!
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2-17-2007 @ 9:20AM
Ryan Ferguson said...
Keep dreaming, Gary. Florida's beautiful coastal and inland towns/cities far outstrip anything you can offer up. And the weather... well, it's shorts and t-shirts 'round these parts most of the year.
By the way, I flew CORPORATE, not airlines. As such I flew into many of the nation's middling/smaller cities as well as the bigger ones. I also usually stayed and played tourist in most areas for at least a few days. There is a chance you are better traveled than I, just as there is a chance you have a better understanding of where your shitville really stands in the grand scheme. But it is a very slim chance.
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2-17-2007 @ 9:49AM
tom said...
Ryan, it's funny how fast Florida's growth is...we're filling up with the very people who are talking about how bad it is in Florida. Why is it their populations are declining as fast as ours are gaining? They're jealous losers. Those that can't get here fast enough are always the first to complain. As you know, it sucks being here, it's 70 degrees and balmy here, there it's a miserable 5 degrees and 10' of snow. I must of woke up on the wrong side of the country. Thank God!!
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2-17-2007 @ 10:01AM
Ryan Ferguson said...
Tom: Yeah, they know they're kidding themselves. I think in his heart Gary does too. How many former Ohioans do we have around here? A ton... and most of the ones I've met swear they're never going back.
Ohio: a MISERABLE place to live.
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2-17-2007 @ 4:04PM
Anthony De Leon said...
Hey to all Gator Fans. The world is only jealous of our accomplishments on the field. No talk, no comparisons, no hype, just get it done. I happen to like Ohio, I have a few good friends from there that realized they got their butts kicked and was the first to admit it. The rich traditions of Notre Dame, OSU, Michigan, Miami, FSU, Texas, Nebraska, Oaklahoma, USC and UCLA cannot touch the accomplishment of the Gators of 2006. National Championships in basketball and football the very first time ever. Let's see ND had not won anything since the early 90's they are ALWAYS overrated. It's about recruiting and who you play. 12-0 is great in the SEC (6-3 in bowls) but we all know the Big 10 (2-5 bowls) is NO SEC. Vanderbilt scored more on us than OSU. I honestly feel that there are 3-4 SEC teams that could have beat OSU that day. It gets better... 7-10 Top Recruiting classes go to the SEC. Final stats.... 370-82yds 4-14 35yds 2:1 time of possession 41-14 result whoop-ass... What about those "style points"?
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2-19-2007 @ 4:25AM
Oh Frabjous Day said...
Oh! Soup du Jour! Thine cup runneth over! My $2.29! You are truly soup that eats like a meal!
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2-19-2007 @ 4:48PM
dukename@aol.com said...
This #4 Gary dude is a big time sore loser isnt he!!!!-I guess Florida's so called swampland is some of the most valuable real estate in the world.Florida is far from perfect but far better then that frozen trailerpark state you live in Gary you are a stupid moron and Im sure you've brought your frozen ugly ass to Florida more then once and just stay the hell out -its creeps like you that plug up our roads . Go Gators
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2-20-2007 @ 1:41PM
Albert said...
First basketball, then football, now running? lol. Is OSU good at anything?
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